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Lesson #4: Find A Girl Who Has Something Poppin’
To the above point, again it's moderation: it's dead true that someone (girl or guy) with nothing going on will be a net drain, unless they are actively heeding your advice, following your example, and building with you or in their own sphere. Showing you their progress. Otherwise all the downsides are real; that person has all the time in the world to manufacture a honeypot of drama.
It's also true that a girl with too much going on -- consuming too much time, too much attention, attracting bad elements, your own jealousy, or whatever -- if it's going to cause you grief, it's not good. Will she "put it down" if the time comes to start a family? Who knows. If she's so willing to, maybe she's not that great at it, which is unsexy in itself (i.e. a confident yet plainly untalented artist).
But yes, you want her to be Her Own Person, or else how can the relationship be mutually beneficial? She should help you see your blindspots, not become your blindspot.