So I think I may have fucked shit up with my current friends with benefits situation. She's a cute 21 year old college student, not exceptionally hot, I'd rate at a 6.5, but she's smart and has a chill personality. Anyway we'd been hooking up for a month this winter, then she left on winter break for a month, and we've hooked up twice since she's been back in the past two weeks.
Anyhow yesterday she asked me for a favor, but didn't say what it was, when I asked her she gave me the whole story about this moldy couch that her and her roommates were given and now stuck with. She went on about how she was going to donate it, but when the people from the Salvation Army came they said they didn't want it. To make a long story short she wanted me to load it up in my truck and take it to the dump for her.
I told her I could help her out, but that it'd be a major hassle for me, my truck is a tank and her apartment complex has a tiny parking lot that's always packed with people coming and going. I basically told her that if she could find someone else who was down that was more local then to go with them. I also made it clear that I expected her to pay for the dump fee, and that it'd be cool if she kicked a little money for gas.
Right after I got off the phone I got this bad feeling like I came off like a total dick, and that she got a bad vibe from me, but then shrugged it off and figured that she'd still want my help. When I got up this morning I was kind of looking forward to helping her, and then weaseling her back to my place to get a bang afterwards.
Around noon she hits me up saying she got someone else to help her and that "now I won't have to be bother by it". I got back to her saying, that it was cool, but that I didn't mean to make a big deal about it over the phone, and that I'm down to help her.
She texted me back and while of course a lot cannot be inferred through text message, she seemed kind of upset, saying that she just wanted my help, and that it really seemed like I didn't want to help her, etc.
I know I'm completely over-analyzing, but it seems like she's upset and I'm kind of questioning whether this is enough for her to drift away. I kind of feel like a dick for not helping her out, but my initial feeling perhaps programmed from being jaded with women, is that moving furniture for a chick who isn't my girlfriend is some beta type shit.
That said she's a 21 year old college girl and I'm an older dude with a truck so helping her out is something that a guy in my situation should do. I guess I just kind of have a chip on my shoulder from my beta days when I'd always be doing favors for chicks, but often it would be a thankless task.
Now in this case I'm kind of kicking myself for not being cooler and nicer about helping her out. In the grand scheme of things I'm blowing it out of proportion, but just not sure what the best way to handle situations when girls are asking for favors.
Granted taking an old couch to the dump isn't a major favor to ask, but often women will take advantage of asking favors from a guy, and you need to somewhat take things into consideration. It probably mostly just boils down to the girl, the situation, and the favor. If she's a girl you're crushing on that isn't putting out, then you should tell her to find someone else, but if she's a cool chick that you've been hanging out with and banging then you're probably better off helping her out.
At this point I'm going to hit her up after the gym, ask how things went, then tell her I feel bad for not helping, and tell her I want to buy her a drink to make it up to her. That might have kind of an apologetic beta ring to it, but that's what I'm feeling. If she's put off by the whole thing and goes cold on me then so be it, I'd already been sensing a bit of distance after the last bang. Sometimes if you make one misstep you can fuck things up, but in the end you just got to let it go and roll with the punches.
Anyhow yesterday she asked me for a favor, but didn't say what it was, when I asked her she gave me the whole story about this moldy couch that her and her roommates were given and now stuck with. She went on about how she was going to donate it, but when the people from the Salvation Army came they said they didn't want it. To make a long story short she wanted me to load it up in my truck and take it to the dump for her.
I told her I could help her out, but that it'd be a major hassle for me, my truck is a tank and her apartment complex has a tiny parking lot that's always packed with people coming and going. I basically told her that if she could find someone else who was down that was more local then to go with them. I also made it clear that I expected her to pay for the dump fee, and that it'd be cool if she kicked a little money for gas.
Right after I got off the phone I got this bad feeling like I came off like a total dick, and that she got a bad vibe from me, but then shrugged it off and figured that she'd still want my help. When I got up this morning I was kind of looking forward to helping her, and then weaseling her back to my place to get a bang afterwards.
Around noon she hits me up saying she got someone else to help her and that "now I won't have to be bother by it". I got back to her saying, that it was cool, but that I didn't mean to make a big deal about it over the phone, and that I'm down to help her.
She texted me back and while of course a lot cannot be inferred through text message, she seemed kind of upset, saying that she just wanted my help, and that it really seemed like I didn't want to help her, etc.
I know I'm completely over-analyzing, but it seems like she's upset and I'm kind of questioning whether this is enough for her to drift away. I kind of feel like a dick for not helping her out, but my initial feeling perhaps programmed from being jaded with women, is that moving furniture for a chick who isn't my girlfriend is some beta type shit.
That said she's a 21 year old college girl and I'm an older dude with a truck so helping her out is something that a guy in my situation should do. I guess I just kind of have a chip on my shoulder from my beta days when I'd always be doing favors for chicks, but often it would be a thankless task.
Now in this case I'm kind of kicking myself for not being cooler and nicer about helping her out. In the grand scheme of things I'm blowing it out of proportion, but just not sure what the best way to handle situations when girls are asking for favors.
Granted taking an old couch to the dump isn't a major favor to ask, but often women will take advantage of asking favors from a guy, and you need to somewhat take things into consideration. It probably mostly just boils down to the girl, the situation, and the favor. If she's a girl you're crushing on that isn't putting out, then you should tell her to find someone else, but if she's a cool chick that you've been hanging out with and banging then you're probably better off helping her out.
At this point I'm going to hit her up after the gym, ask how things went, then tell her I feel bad for not helping, and tell her I want to buy her a drink to make it up to her. That might have kind of an apologetic beta ring to it, but that's what I'm feeling. If she's put off by the whole thing and goes cold on me then so be it, I'd already been sensing a bit of distance after the last bang. Sometimes if you make one misstep you can fuck things up, but in the end you just got to let it go and roll with the punches.