Quote: (02-06-2016 11:23 PM)Fortis Wrote:
I've been saying this shit for years:
The more variables you introduce into a situation the more fucked up you make the situation. This applies to sales, game, finances, family, friends. It's one of the few things I think is virtually universal.
Sure, she's a hot slut you've been imagining railing for a good while--but your boy's the one hitting that.
They break up.
Now's your chance.
DO.NOT.DO.IT.
I have a few friends I'm fortunate enough to have known for over 10 years. I'm a lucky bastard, I know. Even if one of them split with his girlfriend and I have every right to smash that hoe because he isn't thinking about her I don't think it's worth compromising (as a possible consequence) that friendship.
Even if a dude says "hey bro, I don't care. You can fuck her." We all know that in his heart of hearts he will be weirded out at some level. I know I would if one of my boys did that. To me, that means he was eyeing my girl the entire time. I'm not saying he was going to make a move on her, but the potential was there.
Now I'm not some blue pill faggot who thinks guys can just shut off their sex drive, but if I'm truly friends with a guy then I won't put myself in a situation where I have the ability to smash one of his exes. Such complications and transgressions can always come back to haunt you and may cast doubt on the future of your friendship with that guy.
As many of us know, a good friendship is really hard to come by. It's hard to appreciate that when you're 21 and you're in college and new opportunities to meet cool people are foisted upon you daily by college life. Post-college life you really start count who your friends are and who was just paying lip service to the idea of friendship.
That's why when my friend splits with a chick I do my best to minimize any and all contact with her. Some girls will even actively hunt an exes friends to try and hurt him (stupid chick logic) but it can do damage if you don't see it for what it is.
THIS to everything. I've rarely ever dated inside my social circle because I know it can cause drama. Not knowing of this girl's existence prior to meeting her made it feel like she was a stranger, but in actuality we had so many mutual friends. This "strangers" aspect is actually my favorite part about online dating - These girls are strangers, you have no ties to them, and if shit doesn't work out you never have to see them or hear from them again.
I also agree about the level of contact you should have with a friend's girl. I get along well with all my friend's significant others and have no issues with them, but I never see them or talk to them unless they're with my friends. I have no reason to. And if they split up then I have no reason to contact them AT ALL. It always weirded me out when a guy would get really close to his buddy's girl or keep in touch with her after they split.
And yeah, this chick's damaged goods. Even if things end between them today I wouldn't take her back. I'll admit that things were great when we were together and that I wanted to get back with her after she called it off. But this girl has given me more drama since she's been out of the picture than she ever did when she was in it and she's not worth the trouble - My life would be so much simpler if she just wasn't in it at all. And imagine if we got back together and dated for a couple years and then split? That would be even worse than anything going on now.
And an update - The dude texted me last night after I split about meeting up somewhere else, but I ignored it. Now he just sent me a long text asking if I got laid last night and where I went because he didn't hear from me. The way it was formatted was so awkward, it wasn't like his usual texts. I could tell he was trying to have an old sex life talk like we used to have after every weekend but didn't know how to word it. Like you mentioned, even if a guy says it's cool for a friend to date his ex he'll still be weirded out. And when this guy was talking about her last night he was careful with his words because he didn't want to upset me. But the simple fact that both of us had to work to make things not sound weird means things are weird.