Could've used that cab driver's advice myself about 16 years ago.
That right there. You write a lot of good stuff WIA but what I like best is that I can always find the one sentence that distills everything. If you guys remember nothing else about LTRs, remember this sentence. In fact, I remember having internal misgivings and dismissing them with the exact thought that "it's just not that important". Yes it is. In fact, I believe now that there is nothing more important in a relationship with a woman.
I was married 15 years and I really can distill all of the major problems to this: I never felt respected or honored by my wife.
Agree with the first part, and let me say this from my recent experience: I always hung on thinking that if it did come to divorce, it'd be easier on the kids if they were older. I was wrong. My oldest has taken the divorce the hardest, my middle one is coping, my youngest seems to have no big issues. Now I wish we'd divorced 2-3 years ago.
Regarding "you can't pick right": one thing a friend told me years ago, before I was even in the relationship that led to my marriage, is "people don't change people, situations change people". There are just too many choices, too many options, too many incentives for women to misbehave, especially if you're in the provider role and ESPECIALLY if she doesn't work outside the home. The traditional family and roles are so far gone it's not even worth talking about, at least in the US, Canada, and probably in Western Europe.
Quote: (12-30-2015 08:17 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:
If your woman is not honoring you and respecting you, that's not trivial.
That right there. You write a lot of good stuff WIA but what I like best is that I can always find the one sentence that distills everything. If you guys remember nothing else about LTRs, remember this sentence. In fact, I remember having internal misgivings and dismissing them with the exact thought that "it's just not that important". Yes it is. In fact, I believe now that there is nothing more important in a relationship with a woman.
I was married 15 years and I really can distill all of the major problems to this: I never felt respected or honored by my wife.
Quote: (12-30-2015 10:24 AM)OneEyedMonk Wrote:
LTRs/marriages should be entered into exclusively for the purpose or raising sons/kids.
Dissolving an LTR/marriage comes at the price of the sanity of your sons/kids. Before you pull the trigger, make very sure what the consequences are, and that this is what you are prepared to pay.
Agree with the first part, and let me say this from my recent experience: I always hung on thinking that if it did come to divorce, it'd be easier on the kids if they were older. I was wrong. My oldest has taken the divorce the hardest, my middle one is coping, my youngest seems to have no big issues. Now I wish we'd divorced 2-3 years ago.
Regarding "you can't pick right": one thing a friend told me years ago, before I was even in the relationship that led to my marriage, is "people don't change people, situations change people". There are just too many choices, too many options, too many incentives for women to misbehave, especially if you're in the provider role and ESPECIALLY if she doesn't work outside the home. The traditional family and roles are so far gone it's not even worth talking about, at least in the US, Canada, and probably in Western Europe.