I wrote at length last year about a bad break up that messed up my life. It distracted me away from managing my life well. I quit working out, let my finances slide with overspending, lost my focus at work, and was obsessed with her. It took away time from my family and friends. I wrote about it here, way too much. Talked about it with a few friends way too much. Went to therapy. Dated probably 100 since last August, and over 20 bangs. Feel like I am finally coming back, almost a year later.
I think back on to last Memorial Day weekend, I rented a beach condo to make up to her for some bad thing I did. She ended up inviting her friends, then yelling at me at dinner to pay for her friends. I told her to go home, that should have been our last weekend, stupidly I decided to go to Europe with her after that. Needless to say, it got a lot worse.
I read a bunch of books and articles about it. I thought she was NPD, but she could be BPD. NPD seemed more like her. The love bombing > idealization > devaluation > discard cycle, was all there. Triangulation, silent treatments, insanely good, no condom cummy sex, I dropped a lot of fundamental personal boundaries. We were "in love" within a month. Regardless, I learned a lot about myself. I was fucking a girl last night, a girl by every measure better, younger, taller, better tits, immaculate pussy, smarter, and I was still thinking about this NPD ex. Evaluating, thinking about if this is better. It was.
Am I obsessed, no I dont think so. I went totally no contact last August and stayed that way ever since. Blocked social, blocked number, no contact. I dont obsess over the why anymore, just that I am closed off to some good girls that have come and gone since then. I think I was too blinded in what I wanted, to not pay attention to what she really was. If I learned anything its to hold back and take it very slow, and walk away from anything or anyone when it goes south. There could be 50 threads about these type of women here, if it brings some awareness that these types of women exist.
I think back on to last Memorial Day weekend, I rented a beach condo to make up to her for some bad thing I did. She ended up inviting her friends, then yelling at me at dinner to pay for her friends. I told her to go home, that should have been our last weekend, stupidly I decided to go to Europe with her after that. Needless to say, it got a lot worse.
I read a bunch of books and articles about it. I thought she was NPD, but she could be BPD. NPD seemed more like her. The love bombing > idealization > devaluation > discard cycle, was all there. Triangulation, silent treatments, insanely good, no condom cummy sex, I dropped a lot of fundamental personal boundaries. We were "in love" within a month. Regardless, I learned a lot about myself. I was fucking a girl last night, a girl by every measure better, younger, taller, better tits, immaculate pussy, smarter, and I was still thinking about this NPD ex. Evaluating, thinking about if this is better. It was.
Am I obsessed, no I dont think so. I went totally no contact last August and stayed that way ever since. Blocked social, blocked number, no contact. I dont obsess over the why anymore, just that I am closed off to some good girls that have come and gone since then. I think I was too blinded in what I wanted, to not pay attention to what she really was. If I learned anything its to hold back and take it very slow, and walk away from anything or anyone when it goes south. There could be 50 threads about these type of women here, if it brings some awareness that these types of women exist.