Quote: (01-30-2009 07:22 PM)twigman Wrote:
(Oblivion - did you have to quote the whole damn post again?)
Sometimes you date and you think everything is going all fine in a technical sense. From what you posted here, everything you did was perfect.
The one thing that stands out for me is that you found her boring. I would ask questions about how maybe all you body language may have changed when you found her boring. I mean, I don't know, but thats something to think about.
Another thing is that while most girls like sex and take an interest in guys, some actually are quite confused about their sexuality (like some guys).
We can never be certain why - but one explanation is that somehow this was a sign of things to come - ie. her lack of interest in pursuing a second date. Some girls are boring as a defense mechanism - a 'blood from a stone' type thing. The good news is that there are not many of these girls around. I have one classic example. SHe is a very special and very hot girl, but she has real mental issues.
Also around 30% of the girls I date have had sexuality issues. THis hasn't meant they can't have relationships or sex, but there is something there that the guy needs to work on with them thats not his fault.
While 99% of time I usually take the view that I am responsible for interactions so I can learn from them, sometimes it is the other person (ie half indian girl) who has some kind of issue. SOmetimes you have to make the call that its actually her, and just move on without taking any lesson about what you could have done.
Twigman,
Thanks for your two cents.
I believe in this case the suspension of judgement that you mentioned, might be the best advice.
I really dont think I screwed up this opportunity (especially being only partially interested in her. - i.e. boring girl).
For once I'm actually pleased with my game.
It might be that she is emotionally unavailable.
Or who knows, maybe screwing many other guys!? ;-)
That said, I am not going to do anything else, if she texts, ergo makes a statement, we will go from there.
A note in this regard: in Italy, where I come from, girls easily call guys after the first date (the guy is nearly always initiating the first date).
Moving to the US I learnt that here the dating scene is way more rigid and one-directional.
The guy always has to call and invite the girl out.
At least for the first 3-4 times, or until he sleeps with her.
Then, and only then, she will start to call him and initiate dates etc.
At least this is what all my american female friends told me.
I was appalled when I heard about it!
I have been trying to adapt to it, even though I cant deny the "american" way is more confusing, as nobody is really sure of what the other thinks.
While a more reciprocal way of dating, as in Europe, leaves less room to misunderstandings.