So I've been pretty depressed. In a downward spiral last four years, have just focused on trying to get better last few months. I've seen several psychologist/psychiatrists, I've taken a lot of meds, none have worked. I've been diagnosed with treatment resistant depression and major depressive episode. I don't have the energy to get out of bed in the morning and taking a shower is a challenge. I really don't enjoy anything anymore and I'm pretty numb.
I dropped my psychiatrist and meds, as a result my psychologist dropped me. Currently not seeing anyone and don't even know how to get better. I've accomplished a lot in life, lost weight, traveled the world, put money in the bank, but never really was happy. I've been a nomad for four years and the more I traveled the more isolated I felt. After a while focusing on interactions that would only result in a short term friendships didn't feel worth the effort. I did daygame for a while but was never really successful, also don't think a bunch of quick hook ups will solve anything.
I kind of feel like I've followed all the steps in how to make your life better (take action, and then get professional help) and I just feel like shit as a result. I have no motivation to do anything, I want to get better but have no idea how. I'm not on the verge of killing myself but I have nonstop suicidal ideations and think it's inevitable in like 3 months to a year.
What else can I do at this point?
I dropped my psychiatrist and meds, as a result my psychologist dropped me. Currently not seeing anyone and don't even know how to get better. I've accomplished a lot in life, lost weight, traveled the world, put money in the bank, but never really was happy. I've been a nomad for four years and the more I traveled the more isolated I felt. After a while focusing on interactions that would only result in a short term friendships didn't feel worth the effort. I did daygame for a while but was never really successful, also don't think a bunch of quick hook ups will solve anything.
I kind of feel like I've followed all the steps in how to make your life better (take action, and then get professional help) and I just feel like shit as a result. I have no motivation to do anything, I want to get better but have no idea how. I'm not on the verge of killing myself but I have nonstop suicidal ideations and think it's inevitable in like 3 months to a year.
What else can I do at this point?