[VforVlad]

(11-14-2015 12:27 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

I know this has been written about ad nauseum. This is my random attempt on a sleepy Saturday to compile my thoughts on text game.

Off the bat, text game is very unnatural to me. I'm a writer. My goal is to convey cogent, intelligent, and meaningful thoughts to people who care to read them. When I first got into this, my natural inclination was to write text messages similar to my writing - meaningful, articulate, expressions of the thoughts going on in my brain. Unfortunately, that actually had the affect of turning women off. Gradually, my text game improved, albeit it's completely contrary to my natural style of communication.

Important caveat - if she's into you, short of sending text her missives of your undying love and affection, you can basically text her whatever the fuck you want to text her. If she likes you, she'll move mountains to see you. If she doesn't, she'll flake, not return your texts, and make excuses about how her dog is sick and she can't come out. No matter how solid your "text game" is, it comes down to whether she's attracted to you or not. The most alpha text in the world can't save a situation where the frame has been lost. It just can't.

Given that's the case, in my view, you can't really generate attraction with text messages, but you can fuck it up. Any attraction I've ever generated through text has been by relentlessly keeping frame.

Given that's the case, plus the fact I hate text messaging (typing with my thumbs sucks), I take an extremely minimalist approach to texting. This is what I've found to be very effective:

1. All lowercase, no grammar, and constant abbreviations. "come on wed nite". I do not know why this is effective, or why chicks like it, but they do.

Yes, this goes completely against my actual style of communication. On Facebook, OkCupid, Tinder, everywhere - everything is lowercase with zero punctuation.

It's particularly ironic because I write a blog that people know about (which has even gotten me bangs before).

2. Do not use ? or ask questions as much as practically possible. Instead, issue commands. Do not give her options. "taco loco @ 7pm"

This makes sense - making decisions is hard. Women hate making decisions. When you say shit like "Do you want to get tacos, steak, or Chinese? We could go this place, this place, or that place" you're forcing her to make a decision, which is making her do work. You're forcing her to lead the interaction. That's feminine.

It's your job to make decisions, so make them. "i want steak tonight, lets hit up steak house at 730. ill send u an uber at 7. dress hot"

Issuing commands and making decisions makes the whole thing much easier for her. You're essentially saying "Just do what I say and everything will be fine. I've got everything under control. Let's have a good time." Take command, be in charge, and make the whole night easy for her.

Try and eliminate any questions from your texts. You can even ask questions without asking them by saying stuff like "and this is because...", etc.

3. Do not use LOL or any emocons. That shit is for females. You know what's gayer than getting a text like "Hi Hank! Today my cat jumped up the wall and did something stupid! LOL! Talk to you soon! "

Nothing.

If one of my male friends sent me that text the response would be "What the fuck?" So what makes you think a female isn't thinking the same thing?

You're a man, act like one.

4. Don't be afraid to ignore text messages.

Your aloofness has to grow with the relationship, as a girl who is on the fence might just say "fuck it." But particularly as things progress, feel free to ignore text messages. You've got better shit to do than look at her selfies or talk about the cat.

I ignore a good 20% - 25% of texts I get from females.

"Hank, this guy said this creepy thing to me at work today, what should I do?"
[no response]
[hours later]
"Hank, watcha doing?"
"playing vids"
"Can I come over?"
"maybe later"

5. Pictures of something are okay from time to time.

"Hank, watcha doing?"
[picture of courtroom]
"trying to avoid jail"

(for those of you who don't know I'm a lawyer)

Dry humor is way better than over the top humor. This would be dumb:

"Hank, watcha doing?"
[picture of courtroom]
"Hopefully they don't find out where the bodies are buried and let me out after 10 years! But man, I'm in so much trouble if they find out about the goat. LOL!"

Google "laconic wit".

6. Zero emotion ever. Picture the most masculine males you know. They're generally stoic, hard to read, and not emotive.

On the other hand, females communicate by expressing their emotion. As a masculine male, you do not. So do not do this in text messages. I.e., do not text stuff like:

"It was so great to see you!"
"I had an AMAZING time last night!"
"Your cat is SO FUNNY!"
"That's AWESOME!"
"I miss you. "

Avoid caps and exclamation points. Less is more.

7. On the same note, some goto texts you can use -

"cool"
"ok"
"sure"
"nice"
"i see"
"yeah"
"sweet"
"oh"
"nah"

If you can say it in one word, say it in one word.

This is very useful:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/03/...t-of-game/

8. At the same time, do not reward flakey or bad behavior. Here is a bad exchange -

"Hey Hank! I know we're supposed to go Steak House tonight around 9, but my dog got sick and I can't come out."
"k"

That's totally submissive, even though it's short. What you're saying is "It's okay you flaked on me at the last minute for something stupid. I sure hope you'll bless me with the pleasure of your company sometime soon, though!"

No.

What you're actually trying to say is "fuck you", without saying it. A good response is nothing at all if she doesn't try and reschedule, or something like "i see", "oh", or "pffft".

"oh" is my goto for bad behavior.

"I made out with ten guys last night!"
"oh"

"You aren't nice to me like Joe beta!"
"oh"

"Sorry, to do this, but I have to cancel on tonight..."
"oh"

"Hank, I can't stand the way you [do this that and the other thing]"
"oh"

"oh" is a way of saying "zero fucks given" in two letters.

9. Do not ever apologize for anything ever over text, and do not have long or serious discussions about anything over it.

"Hank, did you get drunk last night and eat all my leftovers?"
"idk"
"You did, Hank, I know you!!!! I was going to eat them for lunch today, and now I have to eat lunch somewhere else. I'm so mad at you!"
"they were delish"
"You are so disrespectful! We need to have a talk about how you treat me."

"That isn't funny!"

"Hank, I'm being serious. We need to have a discussion about how you treat me. Sometimes I feel like you're disrespectful and don't care about my feelings or needs."
"driving, talk to u ltr"

Once you start actually responding, you've fallen into her trap. Don't apologize, and don't have serious discussions about anything over text message.

10. Most of this does not apply to your guy friends. Don't send them gay texts about your feelings, but you can actually send them intelligent, cogent, meaningful thoughts over text messages. My text messages to males are vastly different than what I send to females.

Those are just some of my random musings about text messaging.

Awesome write-up. This resonates with me. I will save this somewhere so I can keep looking at it regularly for daily reminders. I'm looking over some of my texts right now and I'm seeing what i could've done differently.

I've done what you recommend by accident in short spurts without even realizing it. But it's a post like this that serves as a reminder.