Quote: (11-15-2015 08:53 AM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:
Quote: (11-15-2015 04:41 AM)HankMoody Wrote:
The Hank Moody special - use at your own risk:
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In the attraction spectrum, this girl falls squarely in the extreme side of "totally infatuated with you"
You've captured her hook, line, and sphincter.
My last ex was like this. I could literally blow off her texts for days and she'd still keep texting. When a girl is this hooked, your aloofness only adds to her infatuation. But it didn't start out that way. In the beginning I had to hook her with various texting techniques (role play, innuendo, humor, etc). I met her on pof.
On other ends of the attraction spectrum, these types of extreme indifference (like your example above) may not work as well, at least not in my experience. This seems to be especially true with online or tinder girls that you haven't met in person yet.
In those situations, text/phone call game is all you have to work with. She's going to have 20+ other guys messaging her. Unless you're a Tyler Wondercock with Brad Pitt looks, you have to rely on outcharming the other guys with your messages. You have to be the guy who makes her smile and give her tingles every time she picks up her phone, when every other guy is saying "hey whatsup" "here's an unsolicited dick pic" "omg ur so hot" "when we hangin out?" etc.
I definitely prefer the indifferent texting style you've posted above, but it seems like you can only segue into this after she's completely hooked.
This is just my observation from personal experience. However, part of game is a willingness to adapt to changing poosy market conditions. That's why I enjoy reading these forums and getting feedback from other members.
All good points. I doubt any girl would want to meet me for the first time if I used my normal laconic style or OKC or Tinder.
That's one of the reason I've mostly stopped using online dating, and instead rely on social circle game and cold approaches. I'll use it sparingly if I'm bored or hit a dry spell.
It's too many people bidding on the same piece of real estate which yields little return. Building attraction through messaging is tough. Then you spend hours messaging, only to have her either flake on you, or the interest just isn't there.
Social circle game and cold approaches are much more effective and efficient.
What I did find is that if your online profile is squared away enough, you can sort of cut to the chase and arrange a date with few messages.
Does this sound familiar?
"Hi there. I'm currently in grad school getting my degree in [healthcare / education / something related to a non-profit]. I'm passionate about traveling, my job, and hiking. I'm a total foodie and love eating at new restaurants. I could never live without my family, my iPhone, coffee, and red wine. Last year I traveled to Spain and backpacked Europe. I can't wait to go back there. Message me if you see something that interests you, and you want to know more."
So, I sort of mirrored what they're looking for:
"I'm Hank Moody, a relatively well known writer and attorney. When I'm not in the courtroom or typing deep thoughts, you can find me traveling around the world, hiking in the mountains, doing Crossfit, or scoping out a restaurant off the beaten path. I'm looking to meet someone who is dynamic enough to enjoy a trip to the opera, isn't afraid to try places off the beaten path, and would enjoy spending a day kayaking in the mountains. Love of live jazz is a must. If you're the type of person who has seen every episode of Desperate Housewives, we're probably not a good fit for each other. But if you're the type of person who wants to travel the globe, try new restaurants, and run around the city, maybe we'd enjoy each other's company."
[Technical side - demonstrations of higher value, mirroring basically every woman's non-feminine interests, an easy neg / disqualification, and "I live a fun adventurous life" which is actually true].
Two pictures - one of me not in a suit, one of me in a suit.
From there I used a very simple opener that gets like a 70% response rate: "hey, i'm kinda new and trying to figure this thing out. what's the stupidest thing anyone has ever said to you on here?"
For the most part, I would just copy paste that line and send it out to every girl that interests me, usually on a Sunday. Because it's a line that lets her tell stories, thereby building comfort, the conversation is easy. Typical conversation:
"hey, i'm kinda new and trying to figure this thing out. what's the stupidest thing anyone has ever said to you on here?"
"This one guy asked me if I could go over to his house, and he could lick my toes. LOL!"
"i gather you said no..."
"LOL! Of course I said no."
"cool pic of spain, thats madrid, right"
"Yeah, have you been there? I went there when I was in college. I loved it there."
"madrid is fun. you know, there's this cool spanish restaurant downtown thats legit. lets grab a glass of wine there next week. i could make tuesday or thursday night work."
All in all, I got a decent amount of bangs from OKC. It went like this:
- First date, have a drink. If she texts me after the date or the next morning, in like Flynn. If she doesn't text me, I assume it's a no go. I do not text women after a date.
- Second date is drinks, resulting at the minimum a kiss, sometimes a bang if I'm able to do the logistics right
- Third date is always a bang
That's how I approached online dating. Your milage may vary.