Complete 180 From a Coworker and it Hurts. Please help with advice, not just bashing
11-08-2015, 09:23 PM
Hey guys,
I’m going to make this as short as possible, because I’m hoping people read it and respond.
I acted like a little beta queer and I just need someone to tell me that with that aside, I’m not crazy. There’s a girl at work who I’ve been interested in for ages. She flirts with a select few men there, even though she’s married. I’m one of the few guys that she flirts with, and it has lately really gone intense. While she cheated on her husband in the past (he found out but they’re still together), I never wanted to do that with her; I just liked the feeling of flirting with an attractive woman at work, in that it made my day a lot more enjoyable, and gave me a reason to go there a lot of the time.
A few weeks ago, I found it frustrating that she always flirted but seemed to do so just for validation, and decided it was best to stop this shit. When she’d try to flirt, I’d shun her or brush her off. Jokingly, after a few days of this, she told me she was done with me and walked away. The temptation to flirt with her and show her that I cared was too much (I know, that was a mistake), and I wrote a funny note, substituting rap lyrics and using her name and pertinent info in place, and it was hilarious and she was DYING laughing from it, from what others told me. I liked charming her, and I was.
I always avoided adding her on FB, because I wanted to keep a solid frame and not be beta, but I couldn’t help it the other night, and I added her. After two days, I realized, amazingly, that she wasn’t going to accept, and it was fucking really hurtful and made me really fucking angry. It didn’t make any sense either; she’s added guys from work, one of whom sent her dick pics and has been trying to get it for a while.
I used this as a joke today, to play with her, telling her I was done with her now (in a role reversal), but instead of playing along like I did with her when she said it, she shut me down, coldly, and said “bye,” like I was doing her a favor. All positivity suddenly—without any warning or reason—out the window. I realize that I made the mistake int he first place of getting carried away with the nice feelings I’d get from this, and offering her validation like a beta faggot, but am I wrong to think that this is not normal, and even quite cruel?
I understand you’re all going to say that I deserve this (and I agree that I do; you’d think I’d have learned my lesson after all the times I was burned and toyed with by these evil cunts), but it gave a spring to my step and a reason to be alive when I’d look forward to flirting with her and even just seeing her around the office. Please just tell me I’m not a crazy person for thinking that’s cruel and fucking insane behavior. At the very least, please tell me how to play it from here; I’d like to ignore her but I don’t want her enjoying any satisfaction if that’ll give the impression that she got one over me.
Thanks in advance.
I’m going to make this as short as possible, because I’m hoping people read it and respond.
I acted like a little beta queer and I just need someone to tell me that with that aside, I’m not crazy. There’s a girl at work who I’ve been interested in for ages. She flirts with a select few men there, even though she’s married. I’m one of the few guys that she flirts with, and it has lately really gone intense. While she cheated on her husband in the past (he found out but they’re still together), I never wanted to do that with her; I just liked the feeling of flirting with an attractive woman at work, in that it made my day a lot more enjoyable, and gave me a reason to go there a lot of the time.
A few weeks ago, I found it frustrating that she always flirted but seemed to do so just for validation, and decided it was best to stop this shit. When she’d try to flirt, I’d shun her or brush her off. Jokingly, after a few days of this, she told me she was done with me and walked away. The temptation to flirt with her and show her that I cared was too much (I know, that was a mistake), and I wrote a funny note, substituting rap lyrics and using her name and pertinent info in place, and it was hilarious and she was DYING laughing from it, from what others told me. I liked charming her, and I was.
I always avoided adding her on FB, because I wanted to keep a solid frame and not be beta, but I couldn’t help it the other night, and I added her. After two days, I realized, amazingly, that she wasn’t going to accept, and it was fucking really hurtful and made me really fucking angry. It didn’t make any sense either; she’s added guys from work, one of whom sent her dick pics and has been trying to get it for a while.
I used this as a joke today, to play with her, telling her I was done with her now (in a role reversal), but instead of playing along like I did with her when she said it, she shut me down, coldly, and said “bye,” like I was doing her a favor. All positivity suddenly—without any warning or reason—out the window. I realize that I made the mistake int he first place of getting carried away with the nice feelings I’d get from this, and offering her validation like a beta faggot, but am I wrong to think that this is not normal, and even quite cruel?
I understand you’re all going to say that I deserve this (and I agree that I do; you’d think I’d have learned my lesson after all the times I was burned and toyed with by these evil cunts), but it gave a spring to my step and a reason to be alive when I’d look forward to flirting with her and even just seeing her around the office. Please just tell me I’m not a crazy person for thinking that’s cruel and fucking insane behavior. At the very least, please tell me how to play it from here; I’d like to ignore her but I don’t want her enjoying any satisfaction if that’ll give the impression that she got one over me.
Thanks in advance.