INTRO
Gents, this is a technique that I haven't seen discussed in much depth yet on this forum. Given my recent successes using this as an escalation tool over the past couple of years, I decided it deserved it's own thread.
Anyway, one thing my father instilled in me at an early age was the importance of massage. He taught me various techniques, mostly designed for the head, neck, and shoulder areas. He would always be emphasizing, "Son, if you want to have your way with a woman when you're older, massage is one of the best ways to go about doing that." Now, this is obviously a universal truth today, as many of you forum players can attest. But until a few years ago, I was only really using massage as a part of my end game to get a woman into bed once she was already at my place. It had never really occurred to me to use this really early in the interaction to create a sexual vibe until I met my friend, let's call him Dave.
BACKGROUND OF THE TECHNIQUE
Originally, this is a technique that I was introduced to by one of my good Aussie friends Dave about 3 years ago when I was living in Australia. Anyway, Dave is a natural alpha player (also a father to a couple kids) in his late 30's who is also a certified massage therapist. I originally saw him bust this out at a music festival on girls we had been meeting in random places around the venue. I watched him do this several times, usually not asking permission at all and executing it as early as the 3 or 5 minute mark in the interaction. Note - This all transpired while we were standing up, outside during the day in a sunny festival environment near the ocean.
He would just grab their wrist as they were casually talking, then start rubbing the palm of the hand with the thumb of his other hand, without breaking stride in the conversation at all whatsoever. The girl would sometimes look down at her hands as if to say with her eyes (with raised eyebrows) and slightly tense/guarded body language, "What do you think you're doing?" He didn't seem to ever acknowledge such discomfort, if it existed. Soon he would be rubbing with use of both of his hands, one hand focused on massaging the underside of the girl's wrist (her wrist turned up) while his other hand would focus more on her palm and fingers. The look in her eyes would quickly transform to a confused expression that communicated, "Ohhh, this is strange but wait that kinda feels really niiiiiice..." And very shortly after this, her body language would relax completely to a state of total willingness, and she would have this smile on her face that said, "Ohh my god, please don't stop this..." and sometimes she would offer her other hand voluntarily once the one hand was finished.
Importantly though, I observed that he was able to command the attention of these girls with such authority. Considering the attention span of the average female, and that we were at that moment situated in an environment saturated with stimulation and distractions (smell of food trucks, the colorful plethora of people at the venue, drunk idiots yelling nearby, different types of music coming from several different locations, etc.), I was intrigued, to say the least.
He would do this massage routine casually for 2 or 3 or 5 minutes, usually switching to the other girl's hand at some point, while continuing the conversation. Sometimes by the end, he and the girl would be casually holding hands, when he would suggest they go together to get a drink or walk someplace to check out some music together...after only knowing each other for 5 or 10 minutes in some cases.
In the midst of this technique, he would maintain strong eye contact with the girl the entire time, while still keeping a light and playful/flirty mood. The end result is that I watched these girls transform in front of my eyes. If at first they would be possibly a little hesitant to be talking to a stranger, by the end they would be completely submissive, buttered up, and - most notably - they would stick to him like glue afterwards. After doing this for a little while, he would be walking around the venue with one girl on each side of him, walking hand-in-hand, casually kissing one or the other like they had known each other for months. I was all quite surreal to someone like myself who had never seen anything like that done before.
ADAPTATION AND APPLICATION OF THE TECHNIQUE IN MY GAME
As my natural state is not as high-energy as my friend Dave, I have adapted the use of this technique a bit differently in my interactions with women. As I've been doing nearly 90-95% day game the past 6 months or so, I've found the best time to implement this technique is during the first meetup, let's call it DAY 2. DAY 1 being the day you meet her and get her number.
My recent favorite DAY 2 gaming locations are generally coffee shops or an establishment serving good beer, with very little variation from these. The reason being very simple: I love good coffee and good beer and these dates don't cost much money. I will note that historically for me, coffee shops have not been a great place to escalate physically because I have had the limiting belief that alcohol is needed to lower a woman's inhibitions sufficiently in order to go for a kiss or start touching her leg, etc.
Anyway, so as I said, I like to use the hand massage from as early as 10 minutes into the interaction. Normally, we will be discussing various things, and I will ask her, "Do you know how to give massages?" Or, "Have you ever had a hand massage before?" Or, "How do you feel about massage?"
Ideally, you are going to be sitting at a table or a booth, either side by side or with the two of you occupying the two closest seats at a square or round table. If for some reason she is sitting across from you (which I always try to avoid in the first place), I usually pat the seat closest to me with my hand and say "Come sit here I want to show you something" or something similar. Usually she will take the suggestion but if there is any hesitation on her end I just take the seat next to her without much fuss.
Then I say, "Give me your hand." I will square up our bodies so we are as close to facing each other as possible, hopefully with one or more of our knees gently touching. I will take her hand - usually the hand closest to me first - and grab it with my nearest hand. Example, if she is sitting to my right, I will grab her left wrist with my right hand. Now that I have her by the wrist, I gently turn it so that her palm is now facing up, usually resting on my thigh or sometimes on the table depending on the setup. I will then examine her hand for like 20 or 30 seconds. I will comment on things like scars, callouses, how long her fingers are, how nice her nails are, how soft her skin is, how cold her fingers are, etc.
Note - This is a good time to note that in order to have success in this technique, you definitely need to have some level of nail maintenance and hand cleanliness. Example, if you are a mechanic, make sure you scrub the shit out of your hands and deep under the nails before a date so you don't freak a girl out when you go for for this move. Generally, it is good to keep your nails short so as not to scratch or dig into her skin when rubbing it. Also, if you have rough skin, I would suggest using some sort of coconut oil or other intense moisturizer so that your hands are soft and touchable prior to trying this technique.
From here, usually I will start massaging her palm with my nearest thumb, starting in clockwise circular motions, opposing the back of her palm with the other four fingers of my near hand. Then I will take my far hand and grab her wrist and start massaging the underside of her wrist gently with my other thumb in the same fashion, but instead using counter-clockwise circles. As I do this, I am kind of going around her palm in circular motions with my near hand, covering the entirety of the palm.
Then I will work on her fingers. I will use my near hand for this, while still massaging her wrist with far hand. I grab the base of her thumb using the index finger and thumb of my near hand and squeeze while gently wiggling my fingers laterally, trying to massage the entire circumference of her thumb. Slowly, I work my way down to the thumbnail, where I'll squeeze a little firmer now for like 3-5 seconds, then gently tug it towards the tip of her thumb between my thumb and index finger. Then release and start on the next finger.
Usually I will cycle through her fingers one or a few times, depending on her reaction, which is almost 100% positive. Then I will flip her hand over and work the back of her palm and back of her wrist, working my way down to her fingers again. All the while, the conversation is flowing, talking about nothing in particular or again using her hands as the subject. Example, "Do you usually have poor circulation in your fingers?" Or, "You know that girls who like the color green for nail color are gold diggers right?" Or, "How do you cook with nails so long." Etc.
Then I will say, "Ok, all done." Or, put her first hand down and hold out my hand and say, "Ok, time for the other hand." I don't think I've ever had an experience where the girl didn't want to have her other hand massaged after the first one.
Sometimes I will stop what I'm doing like I'm lost in thought or distracted by what we are talking about but continue holding her hand. Then I'll say something like, "I think you're enjoying this a little too much," and then go for a little kiss. Then I'll look at her, smile, and continue massaging again like nothing happened and either continue the conversation thread or start a new one. If the kiss was unsuccessful, I will generally proceed as if nothing happened and try again in a short while.
After the massage is over, I will sometimes continue holding her hand. If I'm not holding her hand, usually I will maintain the close proximity to her with our knees touching, often touching her thigh, and eventually resting my hand on her thigh for extended periods...going for another longer kiss, etc. I find that the key is to minimize the space gap until I have kissed her. But sometimes, if we are comfortable, I like to maintain a close proximity and continue touching her.
Another move that I will do is sometimes go higher up on her arm. Sometimes up to her bicep, at which point I will tease her on her muscles or lack thereof. Or ask her to flex while feeling her muscle. Or use it as an opportunity to find out why she is she so toned, "Do you do yoga?" etc. Sometimes I will just hold her hand and then start stroking her arm, mentioning how soft her skin feels.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
I would say that relatively rarely (maybe 20% of attempts) doing this move am I denied a kiss shortly thereafter in the interaction although I am denied from time to time. For me, it has probably been my go-to escalation technique in coffee shops, and also a great move to use in a craft beer bar or really any other place where the two of you are sitting down close together.
For me, the biggest benefits of using this technique are the following:
1) It sets the frame that I am a touchy-feely guy early on. She has the understanding that I'm a sensual man and I like to touch the woman I'm with in a gentle, but natural way.
2) It gets her thinking, "If he can make my hands feel like this, I wonder what he can do to other parts of my body..." Self explanatory.
3) The hands, in my experience, have been the doorway to a woman's more intimate parts. I think the hands are the best way to start touching a woman to build her trust. From here, it becomes very natural to then move to her upper arms, knees, thighs, etc. until the touching goes from sensual to sexual.
4) Hand massage is a great natural way to close the space gap and create more comfort, while ultimately setting up the kiss, which moves things in a sexual direction. I have been successful more times than not getting a kiss from a girl sometime shortly following or during a hand massage.
5) I don't think many guys use the hand massage technique, and you will be set apart in her eyes as not just another guy. As far as I know, not many guys are doing this out there.
6) 100% of the last several girls I have slept with have been escalated early using the hand massage. Enough said.
I would be curious to hear from other players here on your specific hand massage techniques, stories, comments, or by sharing your resources or tricks as to what works for you. Hopefully, if nothing else, this can give some newer players another tool in the toolbox for helping to initiate physical escalation with a girl in otherwise non-tradition escalation locations and scenarios.
Gents, this is a technique that I haven't seen discussed in much depth yet on this forum. Given my recent successes using this as an escalation tool over the past couple of years, I decided it deserved it's own thread.
Anyway, one thing my father instilled in me at an early age was the importance of massage. He taught me various techniques, mostly designed for the head, neck, and shoulder areas. He would always be emphasizing, "Son, if you want to have your way with a woman when you're older, massage is one of the best ways to go about doing that." Now, this is obviously a universal truth today, as many of you forum players can attest. But until a few years ago, I was only really using massage as a part of my end game to get a woman into bed once she was already at my place. It had never really occurred to me to use this really early in the interaction to create a sexual vibe until I met my friend, let's call him Dave.
BACKGROUND OF THE TECHNIQUE
Originally, this is a technique that I was introduced to by one of my good Aussie friends Dave about 3 years ago when I was living in Australia. Anyway, Dave is a natural alpha player (also a father to a couple kids) in his late 30's who is also a certified massage therapist. I originally saw him bust this out at a music festival on girls we had been meeting in random places around the venue. I watched him do this several times, usually not asking permission at all and executing it as early as the 3 or 5 minute mark in the interaction. Note - This all transpired while we were standing up, outside during the day in a sunny festival environment near the ocean.
He would just grab their wrist as they were casually talking, then start rubbing the palm of the hand with the thumb of his other hand, without breaking stride in the conversation at all whatsoever. The girl would sometimes look down at her hands as if to say with her eyes (with raised eyebrows) and slightly tense/guarded body language, "What do you think you're doing?" He didn't seem to ever acknowledge such discomfort, if it existed. Soon he would be rubbing with use of both of his hands, one hand focused on massaging the underside of the girl's wrist (her wrist turned up) while his other hand would focus more on her palm and fingers. The look in her eyes would quickly transform to a confused expression that communicated, "Ohhh, this is strange but wait that kinda feels really niiiiiice..." And very shortly after this, her body language would relax completely to a state of total willingness, and she would have this smile on her face that said, "Ohh my god, please don't stop this..." and sometimes she would offer her other hand voluntarily once the one hand was finished.
Importantly though, I observed that he was able to command the attention of these girls with such authority. Considering the attention span of the average female, and that we were at that moment situated in an environment saturated with stimulation and distractions (smell of food trucks, the colorful plethora of people at the venue, drunk idiots yelling nearby, different types of music coming from several different locations, etc.), I was intrigued, to say the least.
He would do this massage routine casually for 2 or 3 or 5 minutes, usually switching to the other girl's hand at some point, while continuing the conversation. Sometimes by the end, he and the girl would be casually holding hands, when he would suggest they go together to get a drink or walk someplace to check out some music together...after only knowing each other for 5 or 10 minutes in some cases.
In the midst of this technique, he would maintain strong eye contact with the girl the entire time, while still keeping a light and playful/flirty mood. The end result is that I watched these girls transform in front of my eyes. If at first they would be possibly a little hesitant to be talking to a stranger, by the end they would be completely submissive, buttered up, and - most notably - they would stick to him like glue afterwards. After doing this for a little while, he would be walking around the venue with one girl on each side of him, walking hand-in-hand, casually kissing one or the other like they had known each other for months. I was all quite surreal to someone like myself who had never seen anything like that done before.
ADAPTATION AND APPLICATION OF THE TECHNIQUE IN MY GAME
As my natural state is not as high-energy as my friend Dave, I have adapted the use of this technique a bit differently in my interactions with women. As I've been doing nearly 90-95% day game the past 6 months or so, I've found the best time to implement this technique is during the first meetup, let's call it DAY 2. DAY 1 being the day you meet her and get her number.
My recent favorite DAY 2 gaming locations are generally coffee shops or an establishment serving good beer, with very little variation from these. The reason being very simple: I love good coffee and good beer and these dates don't cost much money. I will note that historically for me, coffee shops have not been a great place to escalate physically because I have had the limiting belief that alcohol is needed to lower a woman's inhibitions sufficiently in order to go for a kiss or start touching her leg, etc.
Anyway, so as I said, I like to use the hand massage from as early as 10 minutes into the interaction. Normally, we will be discussing various things, and I will ask her, "Do you know how to give massages?" Or, "Have you ever had a hand massage before?" Or, "How do you feel about massage?"
Ideally, you are going to be sitting at a table or a booth, either side by side or with the two of you occupying the two closest seats at a square or round table. If for some reason she is sitting across from you (which I always try to avoid in the first place), I usually pat the seat closest to me with my hand and say "Come sit here I want to show you something" or something similar. Usually she will take the suggestion but if there is any hesitation on her end I just take the seat next to her without much fuss.
Then I say, "Give me your hand." I will square up our bodies so we are as close to facing each other as possible, hopefully with one or more of our knees gently touching. I will take her hand - usually the hand closest to me first - and grab it with my nearest hand. Example, if she is sitting to my right, I will grab her left wrist with my right hand. Now that I have her by the wrist, I gently turn it so that her palm is now facing up, usually resting on my thigh or sometimes on the table depending on the setup. I will then examine her hand for like 20 or 30 seconds. I will comment on things like scars, callouses, how long her fingers are, how nice her nails are, how soft her skin is, how cold her fingers are, etc.
Note - This is a good time to note that in order to have success in this technique, you definitely need to have some level of nail maintenance and hand cleanliness. Example, if you are a mechanic, make sure you scrub the shit out of your hands and deep under the nails before a date so you don't freak a girl out when you go for for this move. Generally, it is good to keep your nails short so as not to scratch or dig into her skin when rubbing it. Also, if you have rough skin, I would suggest using some sort of coconut oil or other intense moisturizer so that your hands are soft and touchable prior to trying this technique.
From here, usually I will start massaging her palm with my nearest thumb, starting in clockwise circular motions, opposing the back of her palm with the other four fingers of my near hand. Then I will take my far hand and grab her wrist and start massaging the underside of her wrist gently with my other thumb in the same fashion, but instead using counter-clockwise circles. As I do this, I am kind of going around her palm in circular motions with my near hand, covering the entirety of the palm.
Then I will work on her fingers. I will use my near hand for this, while still massaging her wrist with far hand. I grab the base of her thumb using the index finger and thumb of my near hand and squeeze while gently wiggling my fingers laterally, trying to massage the entire circumference of her thumb. Slowly, I work my way down to the thumbnail, where I'll squeeze a little firmer now for like 3-5 seconds, then gently tug it towards the tip of her thumb between my thumb and index finger. Then release and start on the next finger.
Usually I will cycle through her fingers one or a few times, depending on her reaction, which is almost 100% positive. Then I will flip her hand over and work the back of her palm and back of her wrist, working my way down to her fingers again. All the while, the conversation is flowing, talking about nothing in particular or again using her hands as the subject. Example, "Do you usually have poor circulation in your fingers?" Or, "You know that girls who like the color green for nail color are gold diggers right?" Or, "How do you cook with nails so long." Etc.
Then I will say, "Ok, all done." Or, put her first hand down and hold out my hand and say, "Ok, time for the other hand." I don't think I've ever had an experience where the girl didn't want to have her other hand massaged after the first one.
Sometimes I will stop what I'm doing like I'm lost in thought or distracted by what we are talking about but continue holding her hand. Then I'll say something like, "I think you're enjoying this a little too much," and then go for a little kiss. Then I'll look at her, smile, and continue massaging again like nothing happened and either continue the conversation thread or start a new one. If the kiss was unsuccessful, I will generally proceed as if nothing happened and try again in a short while.
After the massage is over, I will sometimes continue holding her hand. If I'm not holding her hand, usually I will maintain the close proximity to her with our knees touching, often touching her thigh, and eventually resting my hand on her thigh for extended periods...going for another longer kiss, etc. I find that the key is to minimize the space gap until I have kissed her. But sometimes, if we are comfortable, I like to maintain a close proximity and continue touching her.
Another move that I will do is sometimes go higher up on her arm. Sometimes up to her bicep, at which point I will tease her on her muscles or lack thereof. Or ask her to flex while feeling her muscle. Or use it as an opportunity to find out why she is she so toned, "Do you do yoga?" etc. Sometimes I will just hold her hand and then start stroking her arm, mentioning how soft her skin feels.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
I would say that relatively rarely (maybe 20% of attempts) doing this move am I denied a kiss shortly thereafter in the interaction although I am denied from time to time. For me, it has probably been my go-to escalation technique in coffee shops, and also a great move to use in a craft beer bar or really any other place where the two of you are sitting down close together.
For me, the biggest benefits of using this technique are the following:
1) It sets the frame that I am a touchy-feely guy early on. She has the understanding that I'm a sensual man and I like to touch the woman I'm with in a gentle, but natural way.
2) It gets her thinking, "If he can make my hands feel like this, I wonder what he can do to other parts of my body..." Self explanatory.
3) The hands, in my experience, have been the doorway to a woman's more intimate parts. I think the hands are the best way to start touching a woman to build her trust. From here, it becomes very natural to then move to her upper arms, knees, thighs, etc. until the touching goes from sensual to sexual.
4) Hand massage is a great natural way to close the space gap and create more comfort, while ultimately setting up the kiss, which moves things in a sexual direction. I have been successful more times than not getting a kiss from a girl sometime shortly following or during a hand massage.
5) I don't think many guys use the hand massage technique, and you will be set apart in her eyes as not just another guy. As far as I know, not many guys are doing this out there.
6) 100% of the last several girls I have slept with have been escalated early using the hand massage. Enough said.
I would be curious to hear from other players here on your specific hand massage techniques, stories, comments, or by sharing your resources or tricks as to what works for you. Hopefully, if nothing else, this can give some newer players another tool in the toolbox for helping to initiate physical escalation with a girl in otherwise non-tradition escalation locations and scenarios.