Quote: (10-19-2015 02:20 PM)Eddie Winslow Wrote:
Making friends isn't any harder than it used to be. The difference is that adults do not dedicate enough time, either by necessity or by choice, for a real bond to form.
You made great friends in elementary school because you spent 8+ hours with them every day. You made great friends in college because you literally lived with them. You aren't going to make those bonds by meeting guys at a bowling league that meets once per week for 2 hours.
Meet a couple guys you like through work, sports, clubs etc., and then take a vacation with them - preferably for as long as possible. Force the around the clock interaction. Find out their good and bad traits. Crack jokes until the awkwardness is gone.
I know many couples who became lifelong friends with other couples they met on their honeymoons. Spending 7-10 around-the-clock days with a person or crew really makes the bond form.
You might take the trip and discover you aren't compatible with those guys. Maybe the trip won't be that great. If so, meet new guys when you get home and start saving for the next bro-journey. If the guy or crew doesn't want to take a trip with you, he's not open to making new friends. Find someone who is - there's tons of lonely people in the city.
If you think this is too awkward or too time-consuming, you are making the CHOICE not to have friends in my opinion.
I definately think there's some truth to this. Just look at a trip for work if you've ever had to share rooms with a coworker. Guys who before I was friendly with but not close to, after sharing a hotel room sitting around in your boxers together, getting ready for a meeting or something, all that stuff developes a bond and you wind up being closer to those people afterwords typically.
Same with college you live with somoene your going to get close and form a bond.
I would somewhat disagree however in that making friends hasn't always been this hard. Whether you want to blame it on social media or a lesser quality of people these days or whatever I feel like in previous eras, just my perception I really have no idea, people valued friendships and relationships and connections much more. I know my grandfather has a number of friends he's been friends with for 50 years or more. They do stuff together, are friends of the family, etc. I feel like you dont see that as much these days.