I fucked a girl on the second date, then on the third date she says she thinks things are moving too fast, and she wants to take things slower, and basically wants to put sex on hold for a while.
It appears that the reason she wants to do this is that she sees me as a boyfriend/provider and is worried that I think she's a slut, and won't want to be with her long term unless she convinces me that she's not really a slut. Another factor was that I did not lay the D down properly when we fucked (see my earlier thread about that). She does like me because she texts me all the time, gets upset when I ignore her texts for too long, gets upset if I'm near her work and don't stop by to see her, eagerly initiates makeouts, etc.
When she brought this up, I was very nonchalent, like "sure, whatever you're comfortable with." I figured that by not making a big deal about it, I could just ignore it and plow through any resistance later. That didn't happen though, and we didn't have sex on the 3rd date. She's sort of taken back control of the relationship.
How specifically do you handle this situation? I'm aware that it'd be good if I could reduce her feeling that I think she's a slut, and it'd be good if I conveyed a strong frame that she can't control things and will need to keep fucking me to keep me around. My question is: what is the best way of conveying these things to women in this sort of situation?
My top candidates are:
(1) Hey, I'm a sexual person and I like to date people who are open with their sexuality. That's your right to take things as slow as you want, but working through walls that people put up is not something that I'm interested in. (Basically, making it clear that I'm in control and about to walk away but also not making her feel too pressured).
(2) All my best relationships began passionately. I don't judge anyone for doing what they want to do if it doesn't hurt anyone. In fact I admire that a girl has the self confidence to do what she wants. (This is less pressure than the first option and focuses more on me not judging her).
...any big theme being missed here, or any better way of conveying the main themes?
It appears that the reason she wants to do this is that she sees me as a boyfriend/provider and is worried that I think she's a slut, and won't want to be with her long term unless she convinces me that she's not really a slut. Another factor was that I did not lay the D down properly when we fucked (see my earlier thread about that). She does like me because she texts me all the time, gets upset when I ignore her texts for too long, gets upset if I'm near her work and don't stop by to see her, eagerly initiates makeouts, etc.
When she brought this up, I was very nonchalent, like "sure, whatever you're comfortable with." I figured that by not making a big deal about it, I could just ignore it and plow through any resistance later. That didn't happen though, and we didn't have sex on the 3rd date. She's sort of taken back control of the relationship.
How specifically do you handle this situation? I'm aware that it'd be good if I could reduce her feeling that I think she's a slut, and it'd be good if I conveyed a strong frame that she can't control things and will need to keep fucking me to keep me around. My question is: what is the best way of conveying these things to women in this sort of situation?
My top candidates are:
(1) Hey, I'm a sexual person and I like to date people who are open with their sexuality. That's your right to take things as slow as you want, but working through walls that people put up is not something that I'm interested in. (Basically, making it clear that I'm in control and about to walk away but also not making her feel too pressured).
(2) All my best relationships began passionately. I don't judge anyone for doing what they want to do if it doesn't hurt anyone. In fact I admire that a girl has the self confidence to do what she wants. (This is less pressure than the first option and focuses more on me not judging her).
...any big theme being missed here, or any better way of conveying the main themes?