So I finished my 100 approaches two weeks ago, but was too lazy to document my approaches in detail. Instead, I'll just write a summary here.
Out of my 100 approaches, 5 were in the day time and rest were at bars and nightclubs. I got 5 numbers in total, one from daygame and four from night. Went on dates with two girls, made out and fondled with both, but couldn't get past their enormous LMR's. One of them I still meet about once a week although I still haven't managed to bang her. She's a muslim and a virgin, so perhaps it's not completely my fault.
About 50% of my approaches were at this place called Madison Avenue Pub in Toronto, which is basically a PUA playground. About 10% of the population there on any given night is dudes practicing game. I even saw some popular Toronto-based coach running a bootcamp there once. So it's not the most ideal place for picking up girls. On the other hand, seeing so many other guys getting blown off all the time helps with the approach anxiety.
Here are some of the "routines" I used. By routine, I mean anything I decided to use more than once because I found it useful in some way.
1. Once you are in a conversation, say something about her wrist/palm/fingers being small, then start comparing sizes of body parts. Go from wrist to calves to thighs touching the part of her body that you are talking about and saying something like "I'm sure mine is bigger" or "You don't miss leg day, I'm impressed!" etc. Finally say "Let's see whose boobs are bigger" and touch your own chest area. This is a good way to sexualize the conversation because now she's thinking about you touching her boobs.
2. This one's pretty standard, but when you shake hands with her, hold it for longer than what feels comfortable and tease her about the quality of the handshake. "Wow, that's the manliest handshake I've had so far today, and I shook hands with a 45 year old CEO at work." And so on.
3. If you're trying to coldread her nationality and fail, then make it ridiculous. "You are from... Liechtenstein!". "No? You must be from... Azerbaijan then."
4. If you open with "Hey, quick question" and she stops, then you can slow down the pace of the interaction a bit by saying, "I actually have two questions... three questions actually... four." This brings her to a complete stop and establishes a nice "I'm not an interviewer, I'm just messing with you" frame.
5. I didn't really get the chance to use this more than once yet, but I liked the way this worked out. This is how I did the first kiss with one of the girls I went on a date with. On the date, she mentioned she was a professional salsa dancer. So at some point I told her she should come to my apartment and teach me some salsa. She agreed. Then once in the elevator (it was just the two of us), I said, "Ever made out in the elevator?" She said no. So I pulled her in and said "Let's make out now." She kept saying no, but gladly complied. Later, we were chatting in my apartment when I switched on my laptop and started looking for songs suitable for some salsa lessons. She said, "You really think I'm going to teach you salsa?" I said, "Did you just come to my apartment to make out with me then?" Once again she said no and gladly made out with me. It was nice to see the contradiction between her words and her actions.
And here are some of the lessons that I learned and some thoughts that I had in the last month in no particular order:
1. One of the most enlightening things that happened was when one night I met a pro. I was talking to that guy when I saw this girl that I wanted to approach but couldn't come up with anything to say. The pro guy said I should just go in and say whatever, but I couldn't muster the courage and just froze. Eventually he went in and opened with "Do you like my shirt?". I was amazed at how natural it looked and how well it worked. I later tried to picture myself opening with the same line and even in my imagination it looked kinda cringeworthy. The difference between the imaginary me and the pro was the body language and the way we carried ourselves. If you have a confident way of carrying yourself, it doesn't matter what line you open with. I saw this principle in action.
2. For me the first 4-5 mins of the conversation are the hardest. I get completely thrown off if the girl starts looking at her phone or replies in only one words and "uh-huh"s. I need to learn how to be unfazed by the girl's reaction and just plow through. The few times that I've passed the initial 5-minute barrier, I seem to do well.
3. I don't think I like bar/nightclub game. I'm going to focus more on daygame in my next 100 approaches.
4. I should pay more attention to venue selection in general. Even the pro guy I met told me his success rate was much lower at Madison Ave pub than any other place, which is where I did 50% of my approaches.
5. Nothing much happened to my level of approach anxiety. Even after doing 100 approaches in one month, I am still scared of approaching.
Out of my 100 approaches, 5 were in the day time and rest were at bars and nightclubs. I got 5 numbers in total, one from daygame and four from night. Went on dates with two girls, made out and fondled with both, but couldn't get past their enormous LMR's. One of them I still meet about once a week although I still haven't managed to bang her. She's a muslim and a virgin, so perhaps it's not completely my fault.
About 50% of my approaches were at this place called Madison Avenue Pub in Toronto, which is basically a PUA playground. About 10% of the population there on any given night is dudes practicing game. I even saw some popular Toronto-based coach running a bootcamp there once. So it's not the most ideal place for picking up girls. On the other hand, seeing so many other guys getting blown off all the time helps with the approach anxiety.
Here are some of the "routines" I used. By routine, I mean anything I decided to use more than once because I found it useful in some way.
1. Once you are in a conversation, say something about her wrist/palm/fingers being small, then start comparing sizes of body parts. Go from wrist to calves to thighs touching the part of her body that you are talking about and saying something like "I'm sure mine is bigger" or "You don't miss leg day, I'm impressed!" etc. Finally say "Let's see whose boobs are bigger" and touch your own chest area. This is a good way to sexualize the conversation because now she's thinking about you touching her boobs.
2. This one's pretty standard, but when you shake hands with her, hold it for longer than what feels comfortable and tease her about the quality of the handshake. "Wow, that's the manliest handshake I've had so far today, and I shook hands with a 45 year old CEO at work." And so on.
3. If you're trying to coldread her nationality and fail, then make it ridiculous. "You are from... Liechtenstein!". "No? You must be from... Azerbaijan then."
4. If you open with "Hey, quick question" and she stops, then you can slow down the pace of the interaction a bit by saying, "I actually have two questions... three questions actually... four." This brings her to a complete stop and establishes a nice "I'm not an interviewer, I'm just messing with you" frame.
5. I didn't really get the chance to use this more than once yet, but I liked the way this worked out. This is how I did the first kiss with one of the girls I went on a date with. On the date, she mentioned she was a professional salsa dancer. So at some point I told her she should come to my apartment and teach me some salsa. She agreed. Then once in the elevator (it was just the two of us), I said, "Ever made out in the elevator?" She said no. So I pulled her in and said "Let's make out now." She kept saying no, but gladly complied. Later, we were chatting in my apartment when I switched on my laptop and started looking for songs suitable for some salsa lessons. She said, "You really think I'm going to teach you salsa?" I said, "Did you just come to my apartment to make out with me then?" Once again she said no and gladly made out with me. It was nice to see the contradiction between her words and her actions.
And here are some of the lessons that I learned and some thoughts that I had in the last month in no particular order:
1. One of the most enlightening things that happened was when one night I met a pro. I was talking to that guy when I saw this girl that I wanted to approach but couldn't come up with anything to say. The pro guy said I should just go in and say whatever, but I couldn't muster the courage and just froze. Eventually he went in and opened with "Do you like my shirt?". I was amazed at how natural it looked and how well it worked. I later tried to picture myself opening with the same line and even in my imagination it looked kinda cringeworthy. The difference between the imaginary me and the pro was the body language and the way we carried ourselves. If you have a confident way of carrying yourself, it doesn't matter what line you open with. I saw this principle in action.
2. For me the first 4-5 mins of the conversation are the hardest. I get completely thrown off if the girl starts looking at her phone or replies in only one words and "uh-huh"s. I need to learn how to be unfazed by the girl's reaction and just plow through. The few times that I've passed the initial 5-minute barrier, I seem to do well.
3. I don't think I like bar/nightclub game. I'm going to focus more on daygame in my next 100 approaches.
4. I should pay more attention to venue selection in general. Even the pro guy I met told me his success rate was much lower at Madison Ave pub than any other place, which is where I did 50% of my approaches.
5. Nothing much happened to my level of approach anxiety. Even after doing 100 approaches in one month, I am still scared of approaching.
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