I think this is only a western thing. The idea that all of life's natural discomforts need to be medicated away. How many people thought like that 30 years ago?
I forgot which thread, but someone posted recently about talking to a Russian/Ukraine player at a bar, and complaining about his approach anxiety to him. The Russian's response was something along the lines of "so what? we all have that, get on with it".
Failure to approach is not caused by a deficient intake of drugs. Are you going to walk around carrying a sack of all the drugs you need to cope with a normal life? What you need is to chug a nice cup of cement and harden up.
I also don't care that you don't want a lecture, you're getting it anyway because you need it. Hope it doesn't trigger you, lest you have to take your expensive 'I got lectured on the internet even when I asked them not to' pills to cope with the discomfort.
Practical advice:
- When you feel discomfort during an approach, do it anyway. It fades a bit each time until it's quite minor.
- Practice going into bars alone and just chilling at the bar by yourself. It feels weird to begin with, but eventually feels as normal as going to a shop.
- Find other groups of people (such as local 'pickup lairs', or meetups with people from RVF or similar) who expect dudes to approach. I've seen firsthand the peer pressure of being in such a group compel soft men to approach. It seems the inbuilt peer pressure from the group cancels out the anxiety of approaching. Do approach: maybe the girl rejects you, Don't approach: the guys definitely reject you.
I forgot which thread, but someone posted recently about talking to a Russian/Ukraine player at a bar, and complaining about his approach anxiety to him. The Russian's response was something along the lines of "so what? we all have that, get on with it".
Failure to approach is not caused by a deficient intake of drugs. Are you going to walk around carrying a sack of all the drugs you need to cope with a normal life? What you need is to chug a nice cup of cement and harden up.
I also don't care that you don't want a lecture, you're getting it anyway because you need it. Hope it doesn't trigger you, lest you have to take your expensive 'I got lectured on the internet even when I asked them not to' pills to cope with the discomfort.
Practical advice:
- When you feel discomfort during an approach, do it anyway. It fades a bit each time until it's quite minor.
- Practice going into bars alone and just chilling at the bar by yourself. It feels weird to begin with, but eventually feels as normal as going to a shop.
- Find other groups of people (such as local 'pickup lairs', or meetups with people from RVF or similar) who expect dudes to approach. I've seen firsthand the peer pressure of being in such a group compel soft men to approach. It seems the inbuilt peer pressure from the group cancels out the anxiety of approaching. Do approach: maybe the girl rejects you, Don't approach: the guys definitely reject you.