[thebassist]

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The people here are unusually nice in some ways and total assholes in other ways. I'm experience major cognitive dissonance because I feel like there is a real tradition of generosity and friendliness that's disarming but on the other hand a huge portion of the population act like debased animals: they spit everywhere, shit everywhere, smoke everywhere

The majority of this is due to Chinese culture: the spitting, burping, and farting (even some of my friends' drivers would do this right in front of them), where the maxim seems to be 'better out than in'. If it annoys you then I really can't say much man- it's pretty deeply engrained and not likely to change anytime soon, ultimately you have to choose how to react to the things you cannot change!

Keep in mind that the cities are also full of people fresh from the countryside- the reason that some of these Chinese cities have been growing so quickly is due to the massive influx of people coming from the countryside to the city in search of opportunities for work. These are generally the 'worst' when it comes to having manners according to our western sensibilities.

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and generally don't give a fuck about anything or anyone but themselves. There is a real sense of greed and gluttony here that I have never seen before. People will fuck you over for the smallest shit. It's so shortsighted.

I'm having a really hard time reconciling this behavior with how generous the people can be at the same time. I generally chalk it up to people being people but somedays I'm like "fuck all these guys."

I remember a conversation I had with my barber a couple years ago now. He was lamenting the change that city life in China caused to people's mentalities. In the countryside, if you find yourself in trouble, even the poorest of people will be more than willing to do what they can to help you (he was telling me). It is easy to imagine how quickly this mindset is changed when people move away from community-based agricultural societies to cities where literally everyone's goal is to get ahead, and earn money for their families (and fuck everyone else!). I'm afraid that it is the city mindset is the cause of your confusion and anger concerning people wanting to fuck you over for the smallest of gains.

This is what you're going to have to accept (the only solution to situations you cannot change) when living in China long-term. The feeling that I remember clearly from my time in China, in contrast to living in the boring Netherlands, is the overwhelming feeling of being ALIVE. The sheer sensory input from daily life in China, be it dodging taxis while crossing the road, watching people spit on the street, engaging in a delicate shift of body positioning to stop someone from cutting in line in front of you, really made every day seem like an adventure.

I hope you learn to enjoy China for what it is (and what it is not), at the very least to make your year-long stay enjoyable. In any case, I'm sure it's a hell of a lot more interesting than being back at home!