Quote: (08-23-2015 01:18 AM)BetaNoMore Wrote:
Been getting into meditation lately and according to Buddhist teachings and tenants of meditation, the judgments we make about others in our mind (especially if we lose ourselves in them) are unhealthy, bad for our soul and ultimately take away from our own happiness.
That said, I recently went through an experience with a chick who had tons of the typical redflags that the manosphere warns about but I chose to ignore these judgments in my mind and gave her a chance thinking that she could be an exception because of her other positive qualities. Turns out that I got burned and the judgements I initially had (from the red flags) were correct. Had I listened to my gut and the thoughts in my head from the beginning, I would not be in the situation I am now.
I find myself to be an extremely judgmental person where my mind constantly is making comments about people and making assumptions about them especially strangers. I don't think this is particularly healthy and leads myself to a negative cognitive cycle but at the same time, often times these judgements are correct.
How do we go about balancing these judgements in our mind about people so that it isn't unhealthy for us but also use them to protect ourselves and to avoid others who can potentially harm us?
I'm not an expert on Buddhist teachings, however I believe there is more to the "don't judge lest you be judged" lesson that you're missing. Living a life without judging others is a great way to fall prey to people who will take advantage of you. The world isn't perfect.
From my limited studying, Buddhism teaches a similar lesson that Christianity also teaches. The golden rule, "Do unto others as you want done to yourself".
Take a look at yourself and your expectations on how you should live your life. If you have high expectations of yourself, things like not being a pain in the rear, eating healthy, making money, and just being a good person, it would behoove you to not expect this behavior from others. In this world, you have to work to mean anything.
So long as your ducks are in order, there is nothing wrong with placing judgement on others. It may seem unhealthy, but there actually quite a lot of poor functioning people on this planet. Your judgement may be right 75% of the time.
The trick is surrounding yourself with the few amount of people who are healthy themselves so you have a barometer of what a healthy and well balanced person looks like. This will even you out and help you identify who is worthy of your time and who isn't.