A few thoughts from John Michael Kane by PM:
I'd say it depends on several key factors. If she went to college, did she major in something stupid like gender studies or dance class, or something practical like accounting or nursing? If she actually learned some real-world skills, I'd say that could be a benefit. It means she's practical. Now, finding out what school she went to is important. If she went to some hotbed of politically correct SJW crap, then huge red flag! If she went to a more conservative or non-political school, then that is neutral or plus. A key factor is probing her on what she actually learned in her education. Also, did she rack up a bunch of debt to attain that education? If so, that's your debt too if you marry her.
I don't see a girl with some marketable job skills as a bad thing per se, just in case you ever became sick or injured and couldn't work for a while. Do you have some continuity plan for who can run your business if you had to take downtime? Would she do it? Do you have an assistant manager? I used to do financial planning for businesses and making sure that your key personnel like yourself have a backup plan is key. Otherwise, if God forbid your wife had to work outside of the home, having those skills might help her land a job. If you plan well, get proper insurance and hopefully have a good assistant manager, you can mitigate this quite a bit.
Any girl that went to college with the intention of working until her late 20's or 30's, is a huge red flag. Nuance and talking to her about her goals is key. Listen carefully.
I'd say red flag, especially if it is a lot of exposure. Girls that tend to show a lot also tend to hang out with other girls that tend to show off a lot. Those same girls tend to drink more, have more tats and generally speaking like attention via Instagram, FB, etc. These are all attention-seeking behaviors that say "I value attention" more than I value loyalty and being demure. Modesty is an underrated trait in a long-term girl such as a wife. Do you really want to marry a woman that displays the goods that should belong only to her hubby? It is inviting trouble. Additionally, I think it speaks to insecurity, meaning that she needs the attention to feel fulfilled. A stable girl doesn't need the attention of men, but appreciates it. Smart girls don't mind if a man looks them in the eyes, even if he can appreciate the rest of her clothed body. A modest woman that dresses well is always classy. I like that a lot of Vietnamese girls fit this type, as do quite a few girls from other more traditional cultures.
I find girly girls to be extremely delightful. Something about that intoxicating sweetness that is so addicting. Some girls were born to be lovers, the nurturers if you will. Any girl must have a degree of vulnerability to be happy in a LTR/marriage. They have to want to be wanted, and more importantly, they want you to need them. A girly girl wants you to protect her, provide for her and care for it. That is the natural order of things. A good girly girl is appreciative of such overtures.
As for the more political of girls, who tend to be hardcore philosopher types, they do tend to be less feminine because they are fighting in the public sphere for what they believe in. Always being combative (even if for the right cause) I find tends to tire women out more. I don't think most girls have it in themselves to be warriors. Don't get me wrong, it is good to have women sounding off on public issues because it provides cover for men who say the same things. That being said, I don't find hyper-political women that attractive, because they are in combat mode to fight the enemy. I'm very much a deep thinker and political, but to me, a woman is a comfort, a place to lay your tired head down to at night. I would have to think the girly girl is more comforting and less combative (or just less intense is a better word) than the political girl.
Comparing the two side-by-side, I'd say go for a girly girl who agrees in general with your overall views towards society and raising a family. Her first role is to be a wife and mother to your future children. It is important that she recognizes the cultural challenges facing family life. That being said, she doesn't have to discuss every minute detail with you to the 10th degree. So I'd say a girl who is 70-90% girly, with the remainder being just political enough not to be ignorant, but also sharp enough to discuss a few things with her female friends and help keep them informed as to the battles they face as wives and mothers is good.
Great question. The three things you mention are certainly key in my estimation. A girl from a stable family that would make for good future in-laws matters a lot too. A girl is largely a product of her family, for better or for worse. For marriage, you want better. I love girls that are thoughtful. A caring woman, even if she just does the little things to show you she cares is fantastic. A woman that is frugal and sees her man as a financial partner, not just an ATM is very important. We have to share views on finances. As mentioned earlier, she has to be strong in her Christian faith to me, because I don't believe in divorce, abortion, etc. A girl that holds those values is more likely to come from a more traditional background. Ideally, she has a very low or zero notch count. A genuine romantic that has been waiting for me would be ideal. A woman that shows great love towards others that come in contact with her is important, especially a smile that lights up when around children. She must want to have my kids, and as many as I'm willing to give her. I love a respectful woman.
One that is a thoughtful listener and tries to be a peacemaker, even when we disagree. A woman that holds no grudges, because she would rather nuzzle on my chest at night and not play power games. Lastly, I do really love girly girl romantic women who really long for a man in their hearts. The kind of girl who dreams of a wedding with her family and friends. The type of girl who would think it is romantic if I got her pregnant on our honeymoon, etc. Some combination of all of the above would be the ideal wife. Granted, it is important to remember that there are no ideal people, just tradeoffs. But if she delivers on all the important points and has no red flags, I'm willing to pull the trigger and start my own tribe.
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A girl that agrees to an age-gap relationship is subject to a lot of pressure, but it also goes to show you she is capable of thinking for herself and isn't a conformist zombie.
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My ideal age for a woman is 18-22. That's about the age when you can still find virgins/low-notch-count girls who have been in few or no relationships. They are still a fairly blank slate. A good girl that is waiting for her first true love (you) is a very good starting place for a proper wife.
Also, the younger a woman is, the greater her chance of being a virgin or very low notch count. That matters for her long-term projections of a relationship and pair-bonding. Also, if you want a larger family with lots of kids, better to have a wife who is young enough to have multiple healthy children.
I think an age gap relationship works best with a smart, young woman who wants to be a mother from a young age. She knows that is her calling and that she will lean on her man to give her some worldly wisdom that comes from age and experience, without her having to go through the heartache of dating/sleeping with lots of boys her age that aren't ready for commitment.
Masculine/feminine dynamics are best when there exists a strong polarity. Masculine paternalism with a strong desire to protect, love and provide. Feminine vulnerability with the desire to support, humbly submit and give the gift of children to a man that she feels is her guardian and lover. It is a really beautiful dynamic when you have two people who share those values, have patience with each other, and constantly compete for the generosity of spirit to always uplift and encourage the other partner in their respective roles.
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a) What do you think of girls who have been to university? I think that university is largely junk and these girls tend to have aspirations for careers and I have no interest in a wife with a career, which is likely to net less than whatever I can arrange and not provide the family environment that I would like. Semi-red flag?
I'd say it depends on several key factors. If she went to college, did she major in something stupid like gender studies or dance class, or something practical like accounting or nursing? If she actually learned some real-world skills, I'd say that could be a benefit. It means she's practical. Now, finding out what school she went to is important. If she went to some hotbed of politically correct SJW crap, then huge red flag! If she went to a more conservative or non-political school, then that is neutral or plus. A key factor is probing her on what she actually learned in her education. Also, did she rack up a bunch of debt to attain that education? If so, that's your debt too if you marry her.
I don't see a girl with some marketable job skills as a bad thing per se, just in case you ever became sick or injured and couldn't work for a while. Do you have some continuity plan for who can run your business if you had to take downtime? Would she do it? Do you have an assistant manager? I used to do financial planning for businesses and making sure that your key personnel like yourself have a backup plan is key. Otherwise, if God forbid your wife had to work outside of the home, having those skills might help her land a job. If you plan well, get proper insurance and hopefully have a good assistant manager, you can mitigate this quite a bit.
Any girl that went to college with the intention of working until her late 20's or 30's, is a huge red flag. Nuance and talking to her about her goals is key. Listen carefully.
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b) Would you red or semi-red flag a girl who openly displays cleavage?
I'd say red flag, especially if it is a lot of exposure. Girls that tend to show a lot also tend to hang out with other girls that tend to show off a lot. Those same girls tend to drink more, have more tats and generally speaking like attention via Instagram, FB, etc. These are all attention-seeking behaviors that say "I value attention" more than I value loyalty and being demure. Modesty is an underrated trait in a long-term girl such as a wife. Do you really want to marry a woman that displays the goods that should belong only to her hubby? It is inviting trouble. Additionally, I think it speaks to insecurity, meaning that she needs the attention to feel fulfilled. A stable girl doesn't need the attention of men, but appreciates it. Smart girls don't mind if a man looks them in the eyes, even if he can appreciate the rest of her clothed body. A modest woman that dresses well is always classy. I like that a lot of Vietnamese girls fit this type, as do quite a few girls from other more traditional cultures.
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c) There are two categories I've identified: feminine girly-girls who are vulnerable and delightful or let's say more hardened thinkers who agree with our general desires. You don't seem to get these in the same package, e.g. Thomi Lahren, Lauren Souther, Faith Goldy. I don't see them as particularly feminine. What is your leaning?
I find girly girls to be extremely delightful. Something about that intoxicating sweetness that is so addicting. Some girls were born to be lovers, the nurturers if you will. Any girl must have a degree of vulnerability to be happy in a LTR/marriage. They have to want to be wanted, and more importantly, they want you to need them. A girly girl wants you to protect her, provide for her and care for it. That is the natural order of things. A good girly girl is appreciative of such overtures.
As for the more political of girls, who tend to be hardcore philosopher types, they do tend to be less feminine because they are fighting in the public sphere for what they believe in. Always being combative (even if for the right cause) I find tends to tire women out more. I don't think most girls have it in themselves to be warriors. Don't get me wrong, it is good to have women sounding off on public issues because it provides cover for men who say the same things. That being said, I don't find hyper-political women that attractive, because they are in combat mode to fight the enemy. I'm very much a deep thinker and political, but to me, a woman is a comfort, a place to lay your tired head down to at night. I would have to think the girly girl is more comforting and less combative (or just less intense is a better word) than the political girl.
Comparing the two side-by-side, I'd say go for a girly girl who agrees in general with your overall views towards society and raising a family. Her first role is to be a wife and mother to your future children. It is important that she recognizes the cultural challenges facing family life. That being said, she doesn't have to discuss every minute detail with you to the 10th degree. So I'd say a girl who is 70-90% girly, with the remainder being just political enough not to be ignorant, but also sharp enough to discuss a few things with her female friends and help keep them informed as to the battles they face as wives and mothers is good.
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d) What things do you think will really draw you in for marriage interest? For me it's similar ideas on business, family and the culture war. This is very attractive for me.
Great question. The three things you mention are certainly key in my estimation. A girl from a stable family that would make for good future in-laws matters a lot too. A girl is largely a product of her family, for better or for worse. For marriage, you want better. I love girls that are thoughtful. A caring woman, even if she just does the little things to show you she cares is fantastic. A woman that is frugal and sees her man as a financial partner, not just an ATM is very important. We have to share views on finances. As mentioned earlier, she has to be strong in her Christian faith to me, because I don't believe in divorce, abortion, etc. A girl that holds those values is more likely to come from a more traditional background. Ideally, she has a very low or zero notch count. A genuine romantic that has been waiting for me would be ideal. A woman that shows great love towards others that come in contact with her is important, especially a smile that lights up when around children. She must want to have my kids, and as many as I'm willing to give her. I love a respectful woman.
One that is a thoughtful listener and tries to be a peacemaker, even when we disagree. A woman that holds no grudges, because she would rather nuzzle on my chest at night and not play power games. Lastly, I do really love girly girl romantic women who really long for a man in their hearts. The kind of girl who dreams of a wedding with her family and friends. The type of girl who would think it is romantic if I got her pregnant on our honeymoon, etc. Some combination of all of the above would be the ideal wife. Granted, it is important to remember that there are no ideal people, just tradeoffs. But if she delivers on all the important points and has no red flags, I'm willing to pull the trigger and start my own tribe.
------------------
A girl that agrees to an age-gap relationship is subject to a lot of pressure, but it also goes to show you she is capable of thinking for herself and isn't a conformist zombie.
------------------
My ideal age for a woman is 18-22. That's about the age when you can still find virgins/low-notch-count girls who have been in few or no relationships. They are still a fairly blank slate. A good girl that is waiting for her first true love (you) is a very good starting place for a proper wife.
Also, the younger a woman is, the greater her chance of being a virgin or very low notch count. That matters for her long-term projections of a relationship and pair-bonding. Also, if you want a larger family with lots of kids, better to have a wife who is young enough to have multiple healthy children.
I think an age gap relationship works best with a smart, young woman who wants to be a mother from a young age. She knows that is her calling and that she will lean on her man to give her some worldly wisdom that comes from age and experience, without her having to go through the heartache of dating/sleeping with lots of boys her age that aren't ready for commitment.
Masculine/feminine dynamics are best when there exists a strong polarity. Masculine paternalism with a strong desire to protect, love and provide. Feminine vulnerability with the desire to support, humbly submit and give the gift of children to a man that she feels is her guardian and lover. It is a really beautiful dynamic when you have two people who share those values, have patience with each other, and constantly compete for the generosity of spirit to always uplift and encourage the other partner in their respective roles.