Quote: (12-29-2015 07:04 PM)Tytalus Wrote:
WashedUPVet - read your story and wish to point something out. The girl you mentioned is 19 - young enough to not have a clue how to date, and with you as an older man, expects you to show strong leadership about what you want and like to do and she'll happily do it. The thought that you might want her to show some initiative and suggest things to do is probably alien to her thought processes. And think of this - not knowing how to date may be a good thing.
I'm curious if you're willing to do an update - are you serious about trying to marry her?
Also - past relationships -knowing how many & how they ended can be useful to know and look for any red flags.
All good points. Yes, I do want to be married to the right person. I have been divorced for 5 years and enjoyed the freedom.
We actually almost broke up mid December. We did really, I told her she was too young and I was coming to this determination as she was not ready for more commitment based on my needs vs. hers. She agreed. I was really lost and went on a 3 day bender.
I didn't talk to her very much (only a few texts over a 10 day period). Since I was leaving for California on Dec 23, I asked her to have a drink with me to say goodbye as friends (I return Jan 15). At that meeting, she brought me the gift she didn't give me for my birthday (I made a point of that to her based on feedback from this thread) and she started crying. She has some strong feelings but is a very private person and was sharing these things for the first time. We agreed to keep dating. The advantage in dating someone private, is that it takes quite a while to get them to open up and once they do, they hold the line well. You know they arent going to give it to someone easy. She talked about having me meet some of her family in February, which is big for her as she is very family orientated. I think my biggest obstacle will be time, as I return to California in mid June for good. If I had a couple years instead of 10 months, I'm sure I could get her emotionally bonded to the point she would have no choice but to stay with me as long and wherever I wanted.
I have been in California for a week and have no desire to go on any dates and haven't. I wouldn't get close to this type of girl here. Volga girl is at dacha with family near the river and out of Moscow. We text a lot and talk on the phone every few days. I get a lot of photos of food being cooked and decorations around the home.