Quote: (08-05-2015 11:15 AM)jayyrod1 Wrote:
You only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent. In the same sense, you usually get better by being around people that are better than you.
If any of the hobbies your friend does interests you then I'd suggest doing them with him. Ask him if you can tag-along. If you feel like you're holding him back, ask him if you are. If he's a decent or good friend, he'll be honest with you.
See if you can go to any of those lessons he takes 'just to try it out.' I believe that people want to help but most of the time they don't know how so you gotta put yourself out there and when you slip and fall, ask for a hand up. This especially works if that person is your friend and/or they just like you.
Don't let anything affect your confidence either. Life is a learning opportunity and anyone who is good at anything, at one point, was a beginner like you and sucked atbit just as bad or worse! Aside from the few that have a natural talent at something but I wouldn't think too much of them any way.
Overall I suppose I'm saying find what interests you and explore it until you know whether or not you like it. If you know people that do an activity your interested in, try to tag along. You'll learn quicker around someone whose already done the learning, made the mistakes, and figured out the tricks. I think you will be surprised to see how quickly some people will jump at the opportunity to help you out/ teach you something. If and when that happens, befriend them. You're more likely to be iinvited along in the future if you can show someone that your not afraid of failing and taking advice in the process.
Example: I used to talk and talk and talk about how cool rock climbing looked and how much I wanted yo try it and how fun I think it would be and a buddybof mine said, "I do a lot of rock climbing, you should come along sometime." I told him no that'd I'd probably suck real bad and hold em back. Plus I didn't have any gear and what'd they guy do? He wouldn't take my no for an answer and said he was gonna make me go with him and try it out. Granted, this was only a friend of a friend but the guy was super cool about. I went on a weekend trip and had a blast! Afterwards I thanked him for making me come along and asked him why he was do pushy about it the first place.
Buddy said," you were so interested and intrigued in yhr way you talked about I just knew I had to give you a chance at it to put your curiosity to rest. Hahaha, I guess you kindaboike it huh?"
"Liked it? I fucking loved it dude! What're you doing next weekend."
I guess the problem is I've gone through the "just try it out" stage already with a number of things. Like salsa, I've done a number of classes, a couple private lessons, and gone out social dancing quite a few times. But it's been scattered over the years and right now I only have a couple of moves I can reliably do,and I don't feel smooth and confident enough with it to actually have fun dancing, be sexual, etc. And it is hard to practice on my own. I have videos of myself doing a few moves and can find more online, but it is hard to even walk through them without a partner. For me the skill comes slowly and leaves fast. Last time I took a group class it moved too fast for me (intermediate class) and I did not retain anything. I made the most improvement from private lessons but those are like $75/hour.
I guess I am just bitching, if I want to do it I have to put in the density of work--going out multiple times a week and practicing on my own--to get competent. At some point it stops being fun, being a dabbler.