Quote: (07-21-2015 01:33 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:
Quote: (07-21-2015 12:33 PM)Brazilianguy Wrote:
OregonToSoCal,
Hey, man, thanks for the reply.
Nice to know you´re from a small town, because your input is exactly what I need.
I´m a city guy, so over escalation has never really been a problem for me, until now (I´ve been in this town for 5 months or so).
It´s getting really frustrating and disheartening because I´ve had many girls on dates who were really into me, yet I´ve only fucked 4 precisely because of this issue (over escalation).
What I´ve found is that girls respond really well to me (direct cold approach in daygame) and keep messaging me until I set up the date.
So I´m not having any trouble creating attraction and going for what I want.
I guess this is because guys in small towns prefer to do social circle game, so when girls meet a guy who´s not afraid to approach they really value the experience.
Do you suggest I hold off kissing on the first date and instead just use the time for vibing, holding hands, light kino and nothing really sexual?
Or perhaps just vibing and a first kiss, then end the date to leave her wanting more?
One of the girls I fucked I met in a bar, kissed her and then took her for coffee on the first date.
I was in a pretty bad mood, so I didn´t even kiss her.
She kept messaging me, so I set up a second date at home and fucked her (including anal).
So I´m guessing there might be a point in not kissing on the first date.
What´s your take on this?
I grew up in a small town in rural Oregon and now live in Southern California (OregonToSoCal) and even though I'm in an area that has several million people I run into the exact same over escalation issues that you are now. A really good place to start is to read the "first date bang recipe" here on the forum. In my opinion it's the bible and gold standard of how first dates should be run. A close second would be doing quick coffee or ice cream dates with no kissing and then go for the bang on the second date. Your experience with accidentally doing this proves it can work.
A hard lesson I learned as far as first date game is concerned is that you should give the impression that you're in no hurry to bang the girl but at the same time aggressively be pushing the conclusion to sex. That required me to radically change my vibe and body language. I used to be very overly aggressive, constantly leaning in, hands all over right away and you guessed it, these women would blow me out and I went home empty handed.
Fast forward to now. I consciously speak slower, am always leaning back in my chair (think almost like a rebellious rock star or juvenile delinquent in the principle's office and you get the idea) and I let the woman do almost all of the talking. I'll tease and joke around with her but it's only about things she says or does, never about how she looks. I also now do a venue change rather than trying to get them home after our first stop. Going back to the blogger Blackdragon he did a podcast where he said (I'm paraphrasing here) "You don't have to be cool to get laid but you must be RELAXED" Once you're back at your place, keep the relaxed vibe going and when you go to make your move pull her towards you rather than you going in. It's subtle but it makes a difference...
Cool, man.
I´ll delay the bang for the 2nd date, as this seems more in line with small city girl mentality.
I read the "first date bang recipe" thread and I think it´s more suited for big cities.
It seems to me that girls here have a mental rule to never fuck on first dates, so I prefer to play it safe.