[redpillage]

(09-24-2018 12:41 PM)travolta Wrote:  

I lost my father a few days ago. About 3 months ago when I was living overseas I got a call from my mother saying he had a massive heart attack. I rushed back to the US because I thought he was going to die. His heart attack completely fucked him up. He lost all independence and eventually was unable to walk. When he realized his body was completely fucked with very little chance of repair, he became suicidal. Over the past 3 weeks he called me into his room several times asked me for advice on how to kill himself. Told me he wanted to stab himself to death. We convinced him not to kill himself, but instead he decided to starve himself to death. He started to look like a skeleton. After 7 days his body completely shut down. Watching him die was surreal. We checked his vitals a few times before realizing he stopped breathing. I stared at his body for a couple minutes before I could really process that he was dead.

The process leading up to his death was more painful than the death itself. I hardly cried at his funeral because I got most of it out before. Right now I feel sad, but I also feel relief. The past 3 months put a lot of stress on my body and it was frustrating to watch him give up. It was shitty to see him die, but in a way I'm glad I was able to be there for him. If I didn't come home for emotional support I think he would have died from a violent suicide. When I was a baby he was there to help me when I was in diapers, so it only felt right that I was there for him when he was pissing himself in his last days.

I'm not typing this out to get sympathy from others. My point is that it's important to help our your parents in times of need. I could have said fuck it and stayed in Bangkok, but I would have felt regret for the rest of my life if I stayed abroad knowing he was dying. Witnessing death sucks, but I suppose it's an experience that has made me stronger. To anybody going through the death of a parent, just hang in there. Everybody's parents will die eventually, it's not a unique experience.

Okay, I thought I was having a really bad day and your tale reminded me to harden the fuck up and enjoy the gift of being healthy and alive.

Anyway, you did the right thing to be there for him. He was your dad after all and you owed that to him. And as men we never ever shirk our responsibilities, especially when it comes to family.

Mine died about two years ago and nobody even told me. Had to find out over a year later by accident when googling his name online which brought up his obituary. Imagine my surprise ;-)

As you can imagine we weren't close as he never had any interest in me. He walked away from my mom when I was only 1 year old and that was that. I ended up living with him for a few years in my teens and it was pure hell as my stepmother hated my guts. After three years of that they dumped me in a foster home. Only saw him once during my adult life for a few hours and there was zero connection between us. I've met dogs who were more excited to see me than my own dad ever was.

Moral of the story: Look mate, at least you had a dad who loved you. And he sounds like the type a man who wasn't afraid to make tough decisions. You should be proud of him and every day forward your mission needs to be to make him proud.