[Barron]

(05-30-2015 11:31 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Let's say you're in an LTR and she does and says all the right things. Takes care of you as a man, respects you, does not give you any shit, isn't spoiled and comes from a strong traditional nuclear family. You strongly believe her notch count is low to none.

You're seriously considering marrying her. But before you pop the question or tie the knot, how do you know or determine that it's not all an act? That she isn't doing the dishes and folding your clothes, only to stop doing all those things once you get hitched?

Background to why I'm asking:

I was at a family reunion last night and we had a pow-wow about my marriage and divorce. The women in my family were surprisingly red-pill about it, for lack of better description.

When you guys and I talked about my ex-wife in my divorce thread, y'all were too nice compared to what my female family members said. Some of the things they said were:

Sister in law: "She's evil and knows how to manipulate a man with puppy dog eyes."

33 y/o female cousin 1: "She had me fooled, too. It was all an act from day 1."

42 y/o female cousin 2: "You need to date as many women as you can so you know who is good and who is not. Don't marry in the next 5 years, at the very least."

Sister: "I agree, focus on yourself, be selfish, and don't sacrifice any of your time and money or happiness for a woman."

33 y/o female cousin 1: "She really treated you like that? Next time a woman does that shit, tell her to piss off!"

82 year old Aunt: "Don't ever marry an American girl!" (and everyone bust out laughing)

And then I posed this question: "how do I know if a good girl is not just acting?"

No one had an answer.

You're asking the question because your mind is in blue pill romance mode. The question itself implies that you're making the relationship about her, when it should be about you.

Assume that it's all an act, assume that from day one she's a completely different person than what she's presenting. Because she is, all women are to some degree. Women are reactionary to us, meaning that they can't do shit by themselves because they need us to initiate for them. If you make the relationship about her then you are giving her power over you and she will most definitely use and abuse your ass, as would any woman, as you would deserve.

If the relationship was solely about you and your happiness (the way it should be) then it wouldn't matter if she's acting or not because ultimately she is submitting to your frame. Her reaction to your dominance would be submission, and not some subterfuge that keeps you awake at night wondering if you trusted the right person with the keys to your happiness.

Happiness comes from you and you alone. Your concern over if the bitch is acting or not is in fact a manifestation of your gut's awareness in knowing that you've given another person the power to control your happiness.

Work on your inner game.