I'm sure most of you have heard how not everyone is made to be a player.
We get past the beginner stages and we start to realize the fickle and conditional nature of attraction. We learn more about the nature of women. We learn is that there is no 'The One'.
Moreover, some guys just cannot get past some of these truths. I don't even know if they fully ingest the red pill or not, but they regress at least partially to what they used to be before involvement with the game.
A guy that had been dumped by his girl or one upset at all his shortcomings and lack of experiences is usually how he would learn about game. He will approach girls, during the day and/or at night. He will get some dates, and eventually a pull or two.
Most of them however will find a girlfriend and stick to her like super glue. They will ditch game although they will tell themselves the 6 months or year they put into it was worth it, because they do better in a relationship now.
That is what they tell themselves.
I find this happening more often with younger guys. I've seen this happen more than a few times in person, with friends that have casually entered the game and bowed out of it in no time.
Now I understand, not everyone is made to be a player.
I think to be a player means to play the field with a multitude of women (usually, but not necessarily) and resist settling down with one. Why do so when you have so many options?
Well, some guys are more relationship oriented and prefer to take it one girl at a time. Forget the average, blue pill guys. I'm talking about the guys with awareness of game.
But still, to an extent you need to play the field and build some experience.
Enter the rise of the mini relationship, something I have no problems with and I recommend from time to time to guys that are younger than me. Guys just entering their 20's should in no way be 100% committing to a girl for a serious relationship. But I digress.
Quick Case Study
Man A enters the game with some success after getting his feet wet. Though less than a year since he started going out to meet girls, he finds the best girl so far and goes all in with his chips to date her seriously. Some good and bad times later, they break up and he is back where he started. Now he repeats the same thing, gets back into the game, then 6 months later starts another relationship. This will repeat until he gets married, mid to late 20's.
Man B will play the field extensively in his early 20's. No serious relationships whatsoever. A few mini-relationships, but nothing more than a few sweet memories. Sleeps with many women over a few years until he realizes his desire for quality is far higher now than it has been for quantity. So now he is more selective, and will still play the field from time to time, but what he is looking for is just one girl to have around, whether it be more serious or something casual.
Man B has the option to date seriously if he wants to. Man A, is almost forced to because he hasn't endured the hardships (along with that pleasures and freedom) of the single dating market.
Both of these are examples of guys I know in person. Man B is in his mid 20's and does not have an accurate count of women he has banged since his late teens. Told me it's between 40-50 (numbers are more subjective, but I think it should be a golden rule not to start any serious relationship until you've at least been with 10 girls). Nowadays, he says although the occasional slut is nice, he rather spend time with one girl that maybe he will later deem to be serious relationship material.
We were at the club having this conversation when he tells me the following:
With that, he approached a lone girl 3 meters away, seemingly waiting for a friend. Stunning body, with an annoyed expression on her face. Not the ideal girl to approach.
But his vibe, it was excellent; calibrated. He pulled in her by the hand not giving her a chance to hesitate, and before she could say a word he spun her to the music and led her quickly through a few moves. I could tell she was completely struck by his presence and couldn't take her hands off him after only a minute, even when he ended the dance. They chatted for a bit but he left her as we went outside to meet our other buddies to call it a night. The girl even followed him, he chatted for a bit to be a polite, he might have taken her number I'm not so sure.
Not everyone is made to be a player. But you have to be one to build experience. To learn the ropes. To build your subconscious frame to deal with women.
And above all, never forget you still need to game. It never ends. At all times you will have to perform.
The biggest mistake by Man A is thinking a relationship is an opportunity to avoid performance.
Also, notice how I bolded what my buddy said in quotes. I believe that I can. Men are programmed to be confident, it's wired in our testosterone, but confidence must be worked on. Man A looks at a beautiful girl and thinks what a pleasure it would be to spend time with her. Man B, looks at the same girl and thinks:
Hell, this one might be worth a go.
Clearly you can see which man believes HE is the prize.
***
Some food for thought. These ideas have been on my mind recently and I wanted to get them onto paper.
We get past the beginner stages and we start to realize the fickle and conditional nature of attraction. We learn more about the nature of women. We learn is that there is no 'The One'.
Moreover, some guys just cannot get past some of these truths. I don't even know if they fully ingest the red pill or not, but they regress at least partially to what they used to be before involvement with the game.
A guy that had been dumped by his girl or one upset at all his shortcomings and lack of experiences is usually how he would learn about game. He will approach girls, during the day and/or at night. He will get some dates, and eventually a pull or two.
Most of them however will find a girlfriend and stick to her like super glue. They will ditch game although they will tell themselves the 6 months or year they put into it was worth it, because they do better in a relationship now.
That is what they tell themselves.
I find this happening more often with younger guys. I've seen this happen more than a few times in person, with friends that have casually entered the game and bowed out of it in no time.
Now I understand, not everyone is made to be a player.
I think to be a player means to play the field with a multitude of women (usually, but not necessarily) and resist settling down with one. Why do so when you have so many options?
Well, some guys are more relationship oriented and prefer to take it one girl at a time. Forget the average, blue pill guys. I'm talking about the guys with awareness of game.
But still, to an extent you need to play the field and build some experience.
Enter the rise of the mini relationship, something I have no problems with and I recommend from time to time to guys that are younger than me. Guys just entering their 20's should in no way be 100% committing to a girl for a serious relationship. But I digress.
Quick Case Study
Man A enters the game with some success after getting his feet wet. Though less than a year since he started going out to meet girls, he finds the best girl so far and goes all in with his chips to date her seriously. Some good and bad times later, they break up and he is back where he started. Now he repeats the same thing, gets back into the game, then 6 months later starts another relationship. This will repeat until he gets married, mid to late 20's.
Man B will play the field extensively in his early 20's. No serious relationships whatsoever. A few mini-relationships, but nothing more than a few sweet memories. Sleeps with many women over a few years until he realizes his desire for quality is far higher now than it has been for quantity. So now he is more selective, and will still play the field from time to time, but what he is looking for is just one girl to have around, whether it be more serious or something casual.
Man B has the option to date seriously if he wants to. Man A, is almost forced to because he hasn't endured the hardships (along with that pleasures and freedom) of the single dating market.
Both of these are examples of guys I know in person. Man B is in his mid 20's and does not have an accurate count of women he has banged since his late teens. Told me it's between 40-50 (numbers are more subjective, but I think it should be a golden rule not to start any serious relationship until you've at least been with 10 girls). Nowadays, he says although the occasional slut is nice, he rather spend time with one girl that maybe he will later deem to be serious relationship material.
We were at the club having this conversation when he tells me the following:
Quote:Quote:
The thing is man, I'm looking for the better girls.. These girls around us are mostly not worth my time anymore. Although I can't have all of them if I wanted to, I believe that I can, because I've had more than my share of experiences with them. There comes a time when quality will do more for you than quantity ever will.
With that, he approached a lone girl 3 meters away, seemingly waiting for a friend. Stunning body, with an annoyed expression on her face. Not the ideal girl to approach.
But his vibe, it was excellent; calibrated. He pulled in her by the hand not giving her a chance to hesitate, and before she could say a word he spun her to the music and led her quickly through a few moves. I could tell she was completely struck by his presence and couldn't take her hands off him after only a minute, even when he ended the dance. They chatted for a bit but he left her as we went outside to meet our other buddies to call it a night. The girl even followed him, he chatted for a bit to be a polite, he might have taken her number I'm not so sure.
Not everyone is made to be a player. But you have to be one to build experience. To learn the ropes. To build your subconscious frame to deal with women.
And above all, never forget you still need to game. It never ends. At all times you will have to perform.
The biggest mistake by Man A is thinking a relationship is an opportunity to avoid performance.
Also, notice how I bolded what my buddy said in quotes. I believe that I can. Men are programmed to be confident, it's wired in our testosterone, but confidence must be worked on. Man A looks at a beautiful girl and thinks what a pleasure it would be to spend time with her. Man B, looks at the same girl and thinks:
Hell, this one might be worth a go.
Clearly you can see which man believes HE is the prize.
***
Some food for thought. These ideas have been on my mind recently and I wanted to get them onto paper.