Hi everyone. Lurked here for a while, first time poster.
The situation I'm interested in getting advice for is something like this. I don't know all of my Facebook friends in real life (does anyone?). Some of them are people I met on various music related forums over the years; the particular places I met them have gone but we still keep in contact via FB. A group of about 10 of us have been pretty close over the past few years on FB and are in a chat group that most of us use on a daily basis. There are maybe 6 women, 4 dudes in this group. We're all in our mid 30s - most of the group members are nowhere near my geographic location.
It's been fun for a while - people would use the chat to make jokes and bitch about random stuff and let loose with things that you wouldn't want to post to your real life friends and acquaintances. Even so, people there usually didn't go into great detail about their personal lives other than to bitch about not having a date this weekend or that they were leaving their girlfriend/boyfriend, and so on.
Until some of the unattached 30-something women discovered OKCupid/Tinder.
Now the chat has started to devolve into a daily discussion about the various dudes that these women have messaging them on these dating sites. It's been an interesting insight in some ways - at least two of the women in the group are very well educated and would probably describe themselves as feminists, but use the same old pejorative terms about guys who message them that a 19 year old HS teenybopper might: "oh, he's so short!" "ew, he looks like a creeper." "My eyes are rolling so hard." "He does that thing where he shaves his head to hide his hairline, that's gross." (after the same woman once told me that I shouldn't worry so much about my own hair loss.)
Also, many of the messages these women get are from very good looking guys, I guess they would be 8's or 9's. Younger than them, with a full head of hair and totally ripped. The women in this group are probably 4's at best, with maybe one 6. They know that these guys are in it for a pump and dump and have even directly stated as much, framing it in a way to make it seem as if this turns them off. Except I know that one of them has already gone for such a dude and I've seen the fallout.
It's too bad. Before they got onto dating sites many of them seemed like cool people, and I had fun chatting with them over the years. But now it seems they're getting older and the biological clock is ticking, and after going on these dating site their hypergamy has been unleashed. I'm starting to get fairly disgusted and would like to bow out gracefully; I don't want to just dump the chat as I'll have have to deal with a bunch of uncomfortable questions. It also makes me look like a butthurt chump. Any thoughts on how to disengage with dignity[/align]?
The situation I'm interested in getting advice for is something like this. I don't know all of my Facebook friends in real life (does anyone?). Some of them are people I met on various music related forums over the years; the particular places I met them have gone but we still keep in contact via FB. A group of about 10 of us have been pretty close over the past few years on FB and are in a chat group that most of us use on a daily basis. There are maybe 6 women, 4 dudes in this group. We're all in our mid 30s - most of the group members are nowhere near my geographic location.
It's been fun for a while - people would use the chat to make jokes and bitch about random stuff and let loose with things that you wouldn't want to post to your real life friends and acquaintances. Even so, people there usually didn't go into great detail about their personal lives other than to bitch about not having a date this weekend or that they were leaving their girlfriend/boyfriend, and so on.
Until some of the unattached 30-something women discovered OKCupid/Tinder.
Now the chat has started to devolve into a daily discussion about the various dudes that these women have messaging them on these dating sites. It's been an interesting insight in some ways - at least two of the women in the group are very well educated and would probably describe themselves as feminists, but use the same old pejorative terms about guys who message them that a 19 year old HS teenybopper might: "oh, he's so short!" "ew, he looks like a creeper." "My eyes are rolling so hard." "He does that thing where he shaves his head to hide his hairline, that's gross." (after the same woman once told me that I shouldn't worry so much about my own hair loss.)
Also, many of the messages these women get are from very good looking guys, I guess they would be 8's or 9's. Younger than them, with a full head of hair and totally ripped. The women in this group are probably 4's at best, with maybe one 6. They know that these guys are in it for a pump and dump and have even directly stated as much, framing it in a way to make it seem as if this turns them off. Except I know that one of them has already gone for such a dude and I've seen the fallout.
It's too bad. Before they got onto dating sites many of them seemed like cool people, and I had fun chatting with them over the years. But now it seems they're getting older and the biological clock is ticking, and after going on these dating site their hypergamy has been unleashed. I'm starting to get fairly disgusted and would like to bow out gracefully; I don't want to just dump the chat as I'll have have to deal with a bunch of uncomfortable questions. It also makes me look like a butthurt chump. Any thoughts on how to disengage with dignity[/align]?