[robreke]

(03-22-2015 05:38 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Rather than making one post for every single approach, I'm going to only post in this thread after I've done a nice batch of approaches and learned something new, or at the very least reinforced the past lessons I've learned.

3/21/15

35: Chilling at a bar that serves craft brews. A pair of girls sit next to me and order their beers. I ask them what beer they are drinking, and whether it is a special. She asks me what I’m drinking and we talk about stouts. Then I go into ‘What brings you here tonight?’ but the conversation stalls a bit. Few minutes later, I restart the conversation and get her name, but it doesn’t really go anywhere after that, so I eject.

3/22/15

36. “Excuse me, I was wondering which pair of sunglasses look better on me” tried them both on, said “that one”, and I just said “thanks” and ended the interaction. To keep this interaction going, I should have said “Why do you think this one looks better?” then ramble about the styles and materials of sunglasses, and segue into travel.

Saw another girl I wanted to approach at the grocery store, but wussed out completely. She was always moving, and I feel I have a harder time approaching moving targets. Maybe I’m just making excuses here?

37. Whole foods. Saw girl holding a shopping list. I go “so what’s cooking tonight? you have a list…” She smiles and goes “oh, nothing, just a list of what I need”. I start rambling about how I need to do the same because I always forget what I need to buy, and when I start cooking with my recipe, there’s always one thing I forgot. She laughs, but she steps away from me (IOD), so I eject.

38. Saw a girl with brussel sprouts in her cart, and I go “excuse me, where did you get these brussel sprouts?” After she tells me where, I start to say something further, but she turns away before I could get any words out.

39. Whole foods employee. I go “excuse me, where do I find pita chips?” She takes me to where they are, and I tell her I like the ones with sea salt. I get a bag, and I start talking about my recipes with pita chips, but she seemed preoccupied with getting back to work so I let her go.

40. Elevator in my apartment. She needed help in getting something inside the door, so I help her. “You moving in here?” “No, it’s just something new bla bla (I didn’t understand)” “Oh cool. When did you move here?” “We moved last December” Then she gets off at her floor before I could say anything. I noted she said “we” instead of “I” so she must be taken and living with her guy.

41. Coffee shop. Got my coffee, and opened a girl sitting at the bar with a nice looking tablet. I asked her if it was a good tablet, and did some elderly chat about that. Segued into what she’s working on, and what school she goes to… I told her that I tutor at her school (not true, but it will be eventually haha), but she wasn’t taking any of my bait.

Today’s takeaways:
- I’m still struggling to get past the elderly chat to more personal talk.
- I’m still talking myself out of approaching especially with moving targets.
- I feel that my lack of success as of late is starting to expose some of my limiting beliefs that I thought I had taken care of, but are more deeply rooted than I thought.
- I also think that my expectations are too high. I do remember reading Roosh’s Day Bang and he said for the first 100 approaches, you might get one number if you’re lucky. So maybe I’m really doing ok, I just have to practice and learn, and keep at it.

EDIT:
42. Got another one in before leaving the coffee shop. Got eye contact and a smile, and approached as I was leaving. Mind goes blank, and all I could muster was "hey it's a nice day!" Ughh, terrible opener. But she could not understand me, so I changed tacks and asked where she got her bag. Still could not understand me. Repeated myself, and she STILL could not understand me. So I ejected. That was probably the worst one since I started this year.

Just how it is... with my deaf accent, while many people can still understand me, and there are always some people who just cannot understand me to save their lives - not much I can really do about it. Also, next time I get eye contact and a smile, I probably should go direct and say "Hey, I saw you over here and I wanted to say hi! What's your name?" or something like that.

I've used the following with some success. It's better if you get some good eye contact first. Here it is:

You. Excuse me?
Her. Yes?
at this point, I have a way of, in a friendly way, smiling and saying "how are you?" which usually works pretty good. They'll say: Good...and usually return the friendly look but also with an inquisitive look on their face. You can either do this or just go straight to:
You: I know this sounds a little random, but I thought you looked nice today and wanted to say hello.
Her. Oh thank you.
You. I'm robreke ( extend your hand)
Her. her name
You. Nice to meet you (her name)
she'll probably say the same.
You. So, what are you up to today?
she will usually tell you and you can agree and amplify from there. The disinterested ones will of course excuse themselves, but I've found for even MARRIED women or girls with boyfriends....they'll at least engage in polite banter.