Tonight was kinda fruitless, and a bit frustrating. I've noticed a pattern where I under-estimate a girls interest during my approach, and I eject too soon. Two examples of this tonight:
1. Coffee shop. Was in line to get a cup of coffee, where I see a girl browsing craft beers, apparently trying to decide what to get. So I get my coffee and pay for it, and then go to her and open. I don't remember exactly what I said but it was to the effect of "hey, I saw you looking at these beers, and I wanted to come up and say hi. what are you looking for?" Then I told her about my beer hobby and we stay on that topic for a couple minutes. At some point here, she mentioned she's meeting with a friend soon. Then I try to go into GALNUC (see Day Bang), and asked her "by the way, are you half German?" "Nope" "Oh, I just thought... hey where are you from?" She's from here, and then I talk about how I've been here for 7 years. She asks where I'm from, and I tell her, and she asks why I moved here. I explained why I moved here. Note at this point, about 3 minutes in, she is asking me these questions. Then her friend shows up, and they start talking. I don't know what to do at that point so I eject "it was nice talking to you." Not sure what I could have done here, but she may have been more interested than I thought at the time?
2. Hop to a starbucks hoping to see more hot chicks, but it was full of biker dudes and not a single female above a 5. WTF? Maybe wrong time. I'm a bit hungry at this point and wanting a beer, so I go to a bar and order a beer and some appetizer. There weren't many women in there, so I figured I'd just eat and finish my drink then go home. However, I notice a girl - 8 - sit next to me along with two other people. She gives the bartender her phone, for some strange reason (??). I ask her why did the bartender take her phone, and that I don't usually go around giving other people my phones. She said something I didn't understand, but then I keep going, "so what brings you here tonight?" She said she's from out of town and visiting her brother (who was at the bar with her along with another female friend). I ask her what her plans are this weekend, and she said she doesn't know, and she heads back to Chicago on sunday. I say, "well I've been here for 7 years, so I know a lot of good places to go around here" (half truth, but whatever). She seemed intrigued by that, and then asks me how my night is going. I say "great, and this is my dinner here" (pretzel and cheese dip) and she kinda laughs. Then she turns her back to me, and talks with her brother and friend for a while. At that point, I didn't think she was really interested, so I finished my drink and food, and get up to leave without saying anything. As I take a few steps away from the bar stool, I notice her turning around, seeing that I'm leaving, and the expression on her face showed a tiny bit of surprise and disappointment. Maybe I should have said "hey, I'm taking off right now, why don't you give me your # and we'll hang out this weekend?" I honestly didn't think she was interested because of her body language, but that she turned back as I was leaving surprised me.
See, this is a pattern that I've noticed. I eject too early having underestimated a girl's interest. I mean, I know that I should take every interaction as far as it can go, but only on an intellectual level... I'm having a hard time converting that into ACTION. This is a big sticking point for me right now.
1. Coffee shop. Was in line to get a cup of coffee, where I see a girl browsing craft beers, apparently trying to decide what to get. So I get my coffee and pay for it, and then go to her and open. I don't remember exactly what I said but it was to the effect of "hey, I saw you looking at these beers, and I wanted to come up and say hi. what are you looking for?" Then I told her about my beer hobby and we stay on that topic for a couple minutes. At some point here, she mentioned she's meeting with a friend soon. Then I try to go into GALNUC (see Day Bang), and asked her "by the way, are you half German?" "Nope" "Oh, I just thought... hey where are you from?" She's from here, and then I talk about how I've been here for 7 years. She asks where I'm from, and I tell her, and she asks why I moved here. I explained why I moved here. Note at this point, about 3 minutes in, she is asking me these questions. Then her friend shows up, and they start talking. I don't know what to do at that point so I eject "it was nice talking to you." Not sure what I could have done here, but she may have been more interested than I thought at the time?
2. Hop to a starbucks hoping to see more hot chicks, but it was full of biker dudes and not a single female above a 5. WTF? Maybe wrong time. I'm a bit hungry at this point and wanting a beer, so I go to a bar and order a beer and some appetizer. There weren't many women in there, so I figured I'd just eat and finish my drink then go home. However, I notice a girl - 8 - sit next to me along with two other people. She gives the bartender her phone, for some strange reason (??). I ask her why did the bartender take her phone, and that I don't usually go around giving other people my phones. She said something I didn't understand, but then I keep going, "so what brings you here tonight?" She said she's from out of town and visiting her brother (who was at the bar with her along with another female friend). I ask her what her plans are this weekend, and she said she doesn't know, and she heads back to Chicago on sunday. I say, "well I've been here for 7 years, so I know a lot of good places to go around here" (half truth, but whatever). She seemed intrigued by that, and then asks me how my night is going. I say "great, and this is my dinner here" (pretzel and cheese dip) and she kinda laughs. Then she turns her back to me, and talks with her brother and friend for a while. At that point, I didn't think she was really interested, so I finished my drink and food, and get up to leave without saying anything. As I take a few steps away from the bar stool, I notice her turning around, seeing that I'm leaving, and the expression on her face showed a tiny bit of surprise and disappointment. Maybe I should have said "hey, I'm taking off right now, why don't you give me your # and we'll hang out this weekend?" I honestly didn't think she was interested because of her body language, but that she turned back as I was leaving surprised me.
See, this is a pattern that I've noticed. I eject too early having underestimated a girl's interest. I mean, I know that I should take every interaction as far as it can go, but only on an intellectual level... I'm having a hard time converting that into ACTION. This is a big sticking point for me right now.