Quote: (02-06-2015 11:09 PM)ordinaryleastsquared Wrote:
Here's what I do:
1) Try to find the most interesting venue/bar/coffee shop etc you can that is in a reasonable drive from your place. My go to is a pub with bookshelves and a couple fire places, and has good ambience for conversations.
2) Like with every date, try to be as interesting as possible, talk about travel, the last time you were on a warm beach, things you like to do in the summer etc. You can still make a lasting impression without venue changing. Also, I limit my first dates to 1 or 1.5 hours at most, one hour is plenty enough time. I agree with the adage that girls more or less know if they're willing to sleep with you in about minute.
3) I usually drop something about wanting to try out a new recipe or similiar activity that sets up a good 2nd date at my place.
4) What helps me most is meeting new girls frequently enough to get into a flow, such that I can meet up with a new girl even on an off day and still do pretty well. 'Dating' is starting to feel like muscle memory at this point, where I don't have to put much mental effort into the endeavor to get decent results.
Also, I wait to escalate (in most circumstances) until I get the girl back to my place. I'm not a pro, but I get decent results following this strategy where I live in the burbs.
This is essentially the approach I've been using, the only differences being that I prioritize venue convenience over interesting-ness, and I'll usually sit and talk at least 1.5 hours. My track record with it is horrific.
I'm able to have decent conversation, avoid awkward silence, avoid boring/forced small talk, make her laugh, and make the time go by pretty quickly, etc., but I've never once pulled a girl back to my place (or gotten to hers) for a subsequent date via this type of first meetup, whereas I've done it a whole bunch of times with outdoor first meetups that involve walking in some way. It's like the act of walking somewhere with a girl creates a bond that cannot be replicated at a table in some bar. My sample is large enough at this point that it can't be random chance that I happen to only have success with girls I first date in an outdoor setting.
Am I the only one who has this issue?