Hey everyone,
I dug up my old account here, registered in 2009, but barely posted anything at the time. I used to be in the so-called community and knew some of the lingo, and I read Roosh's blog every now and then (I also know him personally from when I lived in DC).
Well, long story short: I totally beta'ed out! :/
Here's how it went down. I met a girl who I thought was different from the much maligned American girl, at least in these circles. I fell in love, and so did she. It didn't matter that she already had one failed marriage and a five year old son (at the time). We were so in love, and thought that love conquered all. Yeah, I'll pause for a minute while you get your barf bags out.
Fast forward to a few months ago. I found out that she cheated on me and lied to me about it for a year and half. I was devastated and angry, of course. Then a mental war ensued in my head, debating whether to forgive her as long as she was remorseful and promised to repair our marriage, or getting a divorce. This lasted for 2-3 months. Lots of sleepless nights, tears, heart palpitations, panic attacks, constantly high on fight-vs-flight hormones. It was pure hell.
Then one morning, I woke up and asked myself whether I could ever trust her again. The answer was no, and it became very clear on what to do next.
I made the decision to file for divorce and move out as quickly as I could. We did sign a prenup in a community property state, so my retirement is protected and I'm also protected from her debts. We also have no kids together - so no child support, and we haven't been married long enough for alimony to get into the picture. I'm only 35, and I even look 30 according to people when I tell them my real age. We only have a house together, which we are going to put on the market soon. Sell n' split.
Now, I'm back to being single, living on my own. Again. I'm young enough to just pick up where I left off from before, but I'm not going to make the mistakes I made before.
I mean, I knew that marriage was a raw deal - but only intellectually. It seems that I had to really experience it for myself, to really understand what marriage - at least with the wrong person - is like. Being single and alone is better than being married and miserable.
For the next few years, at least, I'm going to meet women, not for dating or relationships, but only for casual fun and sex. I'm not ruling out getting married again, though. Never say never, because I've always wanted kids, too. But next time, I'm going to go about it MUCH differently than before.
Before I can ever consider marriage again, my inner game MUST be rock solid and indestructible. I am not at that point yet. Nowhere near that point. I don't know how long that will take, maybe a couple years, or maybe an entire lifetime.
And IF I decide I'm ready to marry again, I will only consider women of the same ethnic background as myself, and who values family above all else. It will be a traditional marriage as opposed to a Westernized love marriage.
But for now, I'm single. I'm free, and I intend to keep it that way for a while.
I dug up my old account here, registered in 2009, but barely posted anything at the time. I used to be in the so-called community and knew some of the lingo, and I read Roosh's blog every now and then (I also know him personally from when I lived in DC).
Well, long story short: I totally beta'ed out! :/
Here's how it went down. I met a girl who I thought was different from the much maligned American girl, at least in these circles. I fell in love, and so did she. It didn't matter that she already had one failed marriage and a five year old son (at the time). We were so in love, and thought that love conquered all. Yeah, I'll pause for a minute while you get your barf bags out.
Fast forward to a few months ago. I found out that she cheated on me and lied to me about it for a year and half. I was devastated and angry, of course. Then a mental war ensued in my head, debating whether to forgive her as long as she was remorseful and promised to repair our marriage, or getting a divorce. This lasted for 2-3 months. Lots of sleepless nights, tears, heart palpitations, panic attacks, constantly high on fight-vs-flight hormones. It was pure hell.
Then one morning, I woke up and asked myself whether I could ever trust her again. The answer was no, and it became very clear on what to do next.
I made the decision to file for divorce and move out as quickly as I could. We did sign a prenup in a community property state, so my retirement is protected and I'm also protected from her debts. We also have no kids together - so no child support, and we haven't been married long enough for alimony to get into the picture. I'm only 35, and I even look 30 according to people when I tell them my real age. We only have a house together, which we are going to put on the market soon. Sell n' split.
Now, I'm back to being single, living on my own. Again. I'm young enough to just pick up where I left off from before, but I'm not going to make the mistakes I made before.
I mean, I knew that marriage was a raw deal - but only intellectually. It seems that I had to really experience it for myself, to really understand what marriage - at least with the wrong person - is like. Being single and alone is better than being married and miserable.
For the next few years, at least, I'm going to meet women, not for dating or relationships, but only for casual fun and sex. I'm not ruling out getting married again, though. Never say never, because I've always wanted kids, too. But next time, I'm going to go about it MUCH differently than before.
Before I can ever consider marriage again, my inner game MUST be rock solid and indestructible. I am not at that point yet. Nowhere near that point. I don't know how long that will take, maybe a couple years, or maybe an entire lifetime.
And IF I decide I'm ready to marry again, I will only consider women of the same ethnic background as myself, and who values family above all else. It will be a traditional marriage as opposed to a Westernized love marriage.
But for now, I'm single. I'm free, and I intend to keep it that way for a while.