TL;DR
Struggled with fitness and body image my entire life. Over weight as a teen, skinny-fat in my 20s. Now in my 30s, trying to lean and ripped. Had real break throughs, started getting abs and arms for the first time, but then ran into health problems (from dieting an over training) that killed my sex drive. the only process to recover and restore my libido involves a period of fat gain. So my sex drive is thankfully coming back fast but I'm also gaining significant body fat and it's making me too insecure to game hot chicks. Should being out of shape (to restore health and dick function) get in the way of gaming 8-10s? How much do they really care if you're confident and funny. It's a tricky dilemma. Going to get back in shape, but i don't really want to wait. I'm tall, slim, good looking, but too flabby for my comfort level at the moment.
FULL STORY:
Hey guys, I just wanted to get people's take on something. There are those who say confidence and game pretty much trumps everything, so you don't need to have a six pack and bulging biceps. And I think we've all seen examples of 8-10s with guys who aren't what you consider great looking, but are just supremely competent and/or confident. But it's still much more common to see hot women dating guys who look like male super models, especially in LA where I live.
I've heard that I'm a good looking guy. I'm 6/1, 180lbs (roughly) with broad shoulders, a square jaw line, dark hair, dark eyes, and I've attracted some very hot women in the past. But I've always had problems with body image. I was overweight throughout my teens. At 19 I lost around 40-50lbs doing lots of cardio and cutting out a lot of fat. I didn't realize that this was a recipe for becoming "skinny-fat", and ended up in that condition throughout my 20s. So I've always been terribly insecure about my body and it's gotten in the way of confidence and dating life more than anything else.
Today I'm 33. A couple years ago I got fed up with being skinny fat, began to focus on strength training. I also went on the paleo diet with regular intermittent fasting. This is what finally started changing my body composition and I started to see some real muscle gains. I even started to see my abs for the first time.
Unfortunately I learned the hard way that these methods can actually be very damaging in the long term and I suffered from a metabolic crash; I began having issues with overly frequent urination, and then my sex drive disappeared. This was a long horrible period of trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I also had a low white blood cell count, dangerously high cholesterol, and binge eating disorder.
Finally in my own research I discovered that these are all side effects of a crashed metabolism. I read up on it and discovered a method called RRARF (rehabilitative rest and aggressive refeeding), which involves eating a lot of calorie dense foods, with significant amounts of sugar, salt and starch every day for a period, until your body temperature is consistently above 98 degrees, and your metabolism increases. Then you return to eating a normal balanced diet of healthy whole foods.
It basically turns your body into a fat burning, lean muscle mass building machine. It also enables you to permanently maintain optimal fitness without dieting, cures binge eating disorder. I definitely haven't binged since I started the process and it also restored my sex drive and fixed my urination patterns. So I know this method works.
The draw back is that you have to be prepared for a period of fat gain, bloating and lethargy. This does go away after a while, and then your body is primed to get stronger and leaner than ever, but it's a significant amount of time that you have to suffer the side effects of this recovery process. I'm in my 6th week and it really sucks. People like me who have a serious body image complex are terrified of being fat, and I've already gained a noticeable amount.
Some of my pants don't fit any more. My abs disappeared and I see the slight beginnings of man boobs forming, which I didn't have even when I was at my most skinny-fat state. I hate being skinny-fat, and hoped I would never be in this state again, but hear I am. However I need my dick to work if I ever want to bang chicks so I have to see this through. I'm also convinced that if I handle it properly I will be able to get into the best shape of my life, if I work out hard using the right methods.
So for those who know my story, I had a terrible onenitis experience that knocked me out of the game for a long period, after taking myself out of the game for an even longer time to focus on career. After that ordeal I tried the hardcore fitness thing and it back fired with the health complications. That knocked me out of the game for another 6-8 months. Then I began this recovery process and got my libido back, so I want to get back out there. The problem is I'm only attracted to 8-10 range girls (virtually impossible for me to settle for less, because that's what I got in the past… well I could even go for a 7 if she's really dainty and feminine), but I'm horribly insecure because of the body fat I've regained.
Part of me wants to stay in my cave until I start leaning out again before I start trying to game. My approach anxiety and insecurity is already at a very high level, and this self-consciousness about my body makes it a heck of a lot worse. But I probably shouldn't let it stand in my way of trying to game hot women right? If I'm funny, confident and make them feel great things, does some flabbiness really matter?
I've definitely been surprised before who slim and sexy some girls were that I dated in the distant past when I was in worse shape. But it's just hard to shake the insecurity, when it's been a life long issue, and I'm living in a city where women are a lot more superficial.
So I thought I'd ask you guys; If you had to be uncomfortably fat or out of shape for a while to restore your health and get your sex drive back to baseline, how would you players handle it? Do you think it affect your game? Any experience with this or ideas about how to handle this dilemma?
Thanks a lot
EB
Struggled with fitness and body image my entire life. Over weight as a teen, skinny-fat in my 20s. Now in my 30s, trying to lean and ripped. Had real break throughs, started getting abs and arms for the first time, but then ran into health problems (from dieting an over training) that killed my sex drive. the only process to recover and restore my libido involves a period of fat gain. So my sex drive is thankfully coming back fast but I'm also gaining significant body fat and it's making me too insecure to game hot chicks. Should being out of shape (to restore health and dick function) get in the way of gaming 8-10s? How much do they really care if you're confident and funny. It's a tricky dilemma. Going to get back in shape, but i don't really want to wait. I'm tall, slim, good looking, but too flabby for my comfort level at the moment.
FULL STORY:
Hey guys, I just wanted to get people's take on something. There are those who say confidence and game pretty much trumps everything, so you don't need to have a six pack and bulging biceps. And I think we've all seen examples of 8-10s with guys who aren't what you consider great looking, but are just supremely competent and/or confident. But it's still much more common to see hot women dating guys who look like male super models, especially in LA where I live.
I've heard that I'm a good looking guy. I'm 6/1, 180lbs (roughly) with broad shoulders, a square jaw line, dark hair, dark eyes, and I've attracted some very hot women in the past. But I've always had problems with body image. I was overweight throughout my teens. At 19 I lost around 40-50lbs doing lots of cardio and cutting out a lot of fat. I didn't realize that this was a recipe for becoming "skinny-fat", and ended up in that condition throughout my 20s. So I've always been terribly insecure about my body and it's gotten in the way of confidence and dating life more than anything else.
Today I'm 33. A couple years ago I got fed up with being skinny fat, began to focus on strength training. I also went on the paleo diet with regular intermittent fasting. This is what finally started changing my body composition and I started to see some real muscle gains. I even started to see my abs for the first time.
Unfortunately I learned the hard way that these methods can actually be very damaging in the long term and I suffered from a metabolic crash; I began having issues with overly frequent urination, and then my sex drive disappeared. This was a long horrible period of trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I also had a low white blood cell count, dangerously high cholesterol, and binge eating disorder.
Finally in my own research I discovered that these are all side effects of a crashed metabolism. I read up on it and discovered a method called RRARF (rehabilitative rest and aggressive refeeding), which involves eating a lot of calorie dense foods, with significant amounts of sugar, salt and starch every day for a period, until your body temperature is consistently above 98 degrees, and your metabolism increases. Then you return to eating a normal balanced diet of healthy whole foods.
It basically turns your body into a fat burning, lean muscle mass building machine. It also enables you to permanently maintain optimal fitness without dieting, cures binge eating disorder. I definitely haven't binged since I started the process and it also restored my sex drive and fixed my urination patterns. So I know this method works.
The draw back is that you have to be prepared for a period of fat gain, bloating and lethargy. This does go away after a while, and then your body is primed to get stronger and leaner than ever, but it's a significant amount of time that you have to suffer the side effects of this recovery process. I'm in my 6th week and it really sucks. People like me who have a serious body image complex are terrified of being fat, and I've already gained a noticeable amount.
Some of my pants don't fit any more. My abs disappeared and I see the slight beginnings of man boobs forming, which I didn't have even when I was at my most skinny-fat state. I hate being skinny-fat, and hoped I would never be in this state again, but hear I am. However I need my dick to work if I ever want to bang chicks so I have to see this through. I'm also convinced that if I handle it properly I will be able to get into the best shape of my life, if I work out hard using the right methods.
So for those who know my story, I had a terrible onenitis experience that knocked me out of the game for a long period, after taking myself out of the game for an even longer time to focus on career. After that ordeal I tried the hardcore fitness thing and it back fired with the health complications. That knocked me out of the game for another 6-8 months. Then I began this recovery process and got my libido back, so I want to get back out there. The problem is I'm only attracted to 8-10 range girls (virtually impossible for me to settle for less, because that's what I got in the past… well I could even go for a 7 if she's really dainty and feminine), but I'm horribly insecure because of the body fat I've regained.
Part of me wants to stay in my cave until I start leaning out again before I start trying to game. My approach anxiety and insecurity is already at a very high level, and this self-consciousness about my body makes it a heck of a lot worse. But I probably shouldn't let it stand in my way of trying to game hot women right? If I'm funny, confident and make them feel great things, does some flabbiness really matter?
I've definitely been surprised before who slim and sexy some girls were that I dated in the distant past when I was in worse shape. But it's just hard to shake the insecurity, when it's been a life long issue, and I'm living in a city where women are a lot more superficial.
So I thought I'd ask you guys; If you had to be uncomfortably fat or out of shape for a while to restore your health and get your sex drive back to baseline, how would you players handle it? Do you think it affect your game? Any experience with this or ideas about how to handle this dilemma?
Thanks a lot
EB