Today I was reminded about this: it's not important if the girl kisses you or not on the first date. It is important that you try! Let me give you an example.
I was on a first date with a Rabbi daughter I picked up in Starbucks yesterday. We met up for lunch because I was in the area where she works. She's not only very Jewish but also young: 21. I picked a restaurant I knew would not be very crowded. I then did my classic move to sit next to her. Since it's not common to sit next to a girl on a first date in America I've had to invent a way to make this happen. What I do is, I act like I am really cold, because restaurants are always cold. I rub my arms and shiver. Then I ask her if I can sit next to her because I am cold. Of course, they never refuse. Once I sit down next to them I then act like it so much warmer and how they feel so warm. I hug them and tell them how good it feels being next to them. The reason sitting next to them is important is that it allows you to escalate very easily which I was doing throughout lunch. When she told me she goes to gym I felt up her arms and legs to see how much muscles she had. I knew I had to go for the kiss and it was planned but I lost track of the time. And suddenly it was time for her to go back to work. So I didn't have time to sexualize the interaction before the attempted kiss. So I had to decide, either go for the kiss with a high chance of rejection or try another time. I put my arms around her shoulder, give her a little shoulder massage and went for the kiss and got a slight face turn. I tried to kiss her about two more times and again outside by the car and got rejected each time.
So why did I do this knowing that the possibility of rejection was high? Because it is more important to establish "intent" on a first date than to actually get a kiss or whatever. It is more important for the girl to know in no uncertain terms what your intentions are and that you find her sexually attractive. You are laying the foundation for your future interactions with her. So no, I am never worried about whether a girl rejects me the first time or not. Because it's more important that she knows what my intentions are than about whether she's willing to accommodate them at that point in time or not.
So don't worry about the whether a girl will kiss you or not. Just go for it. It's better to go for it and be rejected than to never try at all or to wait too long and then her start thinking that you are not sexually attracted to her. Because it's more important to establish intent then to actually get the kiss. (I know this is the reason a lot of guys don't go for the kiss. They are afraid of being rejected. Well, I was rejected no less than four times today but I don't consider it a bad sign at all. She even asked me if I was upset - which is always a good sign.)
PS Today is also some big Jewish religious holiday. So I had another factor stacked against me. But it's amazing just how different this girl is from your typical American girl. She was educated in Europe and Israel and speaks multiple languages. She never once took out her phone and what did order for lunch? A little bowl of soup!
I was on a first date with a Rabbi daughter I picked up in Starbucks yesterday. We met up for lunch because I was in the area where she works. She's not only very Jewish but also young: 21. I picked a restaurant I knew would not be very crowded. I then did my classic move to sit next to her. Since it's not common to sit next to a girl on a first date in America I've had to invent a way to make this happen. What I do is, I act like I am really cold, because restaurants are always cold. I rub my arms and shiver. Then I ask her if I can sit next to her because I am cold. Of course, they never refuse. Once I sit down next to them I then act like it so much warmer and how they feel so warm. I hug them and tell them how good it feels being next to them. The reason sitting next to them is important is that it allows you to escalate very easily which I was doing throughout lunch. When she told me she goes to gym I felt up her arms and legs to see how much muscles she had. I knew I had to go for the kiss and it was planned but I lost track of the time. And suddenly it was time for her to go back to work. So I didn't have time to sexualize the interaction before the attempted kiss. So I had to decide, either go for the kiss with a high chance of rejection or try another time. I put my arms around her shoulder, give her a little shoulder massage and went for the kiss and got a slight face turn. I tried to kiss her about two more times and again outside by the car and got rejected each time.
So why did I do this knowing that the possibility of rejection was high? Because it is more important to establish "intent" on a first date than to actually get a kiss or whatever. It is more important for the girl to know in no uncertain terms what your intentions are and that you find her sexually attractive. You are laying the foundation for your future interactions with her. So no, I am never worried about whether a girl rejects me the first time or not. Because it's more important that she knows what my intentions are than about whether she's willing to accommodate them at that point in time or not.
So don't worry about the whether a girl will kiss you or not. Just go for it. It's better to go for it and be rejected than to never try at all or to wait too long and then her start thinking that you are not sexually attracted to her. Because it's more important to establish intent then to actually get the kiss. (I know this is the reason a lot of guys don't go for the kiss. They are afraid of being rejected. Well, I was rejected no less than four times today but I don't consider it a bad sign at all. She even asked me if I was upset - which is always a good sign.)
PS Today is also some big Jewish religious holiday. So I had another factor stacked against me. But it's amazing just how different this girl is from your typical American girl. She was educated in Europe and Israel and speaks multiple languages. She never once took out her phone and what did order for lunch? A little bowl of soup!