I'm restarting my approach journey, last time I fizzled out. I was not ready for cold-approaching, always making excuses. I tried finding surrogates to rationalize my fear, mainly through online venues. However, I've had only low quality and low return on investment. It's time to face my fear head on and overcome this. There is no shortcut, there is no easy way, I need to plunge my hands in cold water and keep them there. Only then can I catch the fish.
Approach 1:
Girl walks by me on the subway platform. I ask her if she knows when the train is coming, she says it's always delayed. I tell her that I just moved here and wasn't used to the subway being so unreliable. She asks me where I'm from, and we start chatting. We get on the subway, and I look for a place with 2 seats free. I sit down, and I see her dawdle around, and I pat the seat next to me, looking at her. She sits down next to me and we keep talking. Turns out we go to the same university and she's working at a restaurant. We talk about majors and stuff, and when her stop was coming, she said I should drop by her restaurant later tonight. I told her yes, we should grab a drink, and she says yes. Got her number, sent her a text a few hours ago, and waiting to hear back. (I show her Facebook profile to my roommate, and he says he's seen her before on tinder haha)
Approach 2.
I get to the shopping mall, and after roaming around, I see a girl sitting by herself playing on her cell phone, with headphones in. Holy… Damnnnn she was beautiful, she looked something like this:
![[Image: 4.Zhang-Xin-Yu.jpg]](http://www.beauty-around.com/images/sampledata/KITAI/4.Zhang-Xin-Yu.jpg)
I walk past her, and turn my head to look at her. She looks up at me, and we lock eyes, and her head quickly darts back down to her cell phone. I keep walking. I am standing behind the pillar, and she cannot see me. My heart rate elevated, and notice my breathing has increased and my stomach tightened. I began to debate with myself:
I need to do something, say something, anything
No, she already saw you and you walked away, it will be awkward
Something is better than nothing
The security guard is standing right there, if this goes bad you'll get kicked out. Just keep walking, there's many other girls, abundance mentality right?
NO! NO! NO! That is what I have always been doing! This needs to change NOW!
After this I walk over, and I stop in front of her, I say:
Me: Excuse me, do you know where the temple is?
She asks me if I'm part of the religion, and I say no, I'm just looking at the sights since I just moved here. She tells me where it is and I can tell that her eyes were debating whether to return their gaze to her phone. This is usually the part where I eject and say "Thanks" and leave. "NOT THIS TIME MOTHERFUCKER", I tell myself. I ask her in Chinese, "You must be from xxx", and she lights up and says "oh I'm from xxx but why do you think that?" We start talking, and then turns out she's a CPA who recently graduated from my university. We chat for about 10 minutes, and she suddenly gets a phone call from a friend. She ends the call in 30 seconds, and her phone rings again. She answers and after she hangs up and says that her friend is waiting for her. I say that we should exchange our numbers, and she says OK. I text her and she texts me back on the spot. I shake her hand and tell her it was nice to meet her.
Afterwards, I walk around the mall, dazed. Couldn't believe that I actually did it! I did 2 cold approaches in one day. It felt natural and organic, I felt like I was glowing!
For the first time in my life, I stopped finding excuses and shortcuts. I took the initiative, and it felt GREAT!!!!!!
Guys, if you are not in the mood, meditate. I forced myself to meditate for 10 minutes after each set, and the thoughts swirling around in my head shaped into something coherent and conscious. I learned more about myself. I realized that I over-intellectualize things, and that results in no action, in game and in life.
Approach 1:
Girl walks by me on the subway platform. I ask her if she knows when the train is coming, she says it's always delayed. I tell her that I just moved here and wasn't used to the subway being so unreliable. She asks me where I'm from, and we start chatting. We get on the subway, and I look for a place with 2 seats free. I sit down, and I see her dawdle around, and I pat the seat next to me, looking at her. She sits down next to me and we keep talking. Turns out we go to the same university and she's working at a restaurant. We talk about majors and stuff, and when her stop was coming, she said I should drop by her restaurant later tonight. I told her yes, we should grab a drink, and she says yes. Got her number, sent her a text a few hours ago, and waiting to hear back. (I show her Facebook profile to my roommate, and he says he's seen her before on tinder haha)
Approach 2.
I get to the shopping mall, and after roaming around, I see a girl sitting by herself playing on her cell phone, with headphones in. Holy… Damnnnn she was beautiful, she looked something like this:
I walk past her, and turn my head to look at her. She looks up at me, and we lock eyes, and her head quickly darts back down to her cell phone. I keep walking. I am standing behind the pillar, and she cannot see me. My heart rate elevated, and notice my breathing has increased and my stomach tightened. I began to debate with myself:
I need to do something, say something, anything
No, she already saw you and you walked away, it will be awkward
Something is better than nothing
The security guard is standing right there, if this goes bad you'll get kicked out. Just keep walking, there's many other girls, abundance mentality right?
NO! NO! NO! That is what I have always been doing! This needs to change NOW!
After this I walk over, and I stop in front of her, I say:
Me: Excuse me, do you know where the temple is?
She asks me if I'm part of the religion, and I say no, I'm just looking at the sights since I just moved here. She tells me where it is and I can tell that her eyes were debating whether to return their gaze to her phone. This is usually the part where I eject and say "Thanks" and leave. "NOT THIS TIME MOTHERFUCKER", I tell myself. I ask her in Chinese, "You must be from xxx", and she lights up and says "oh I'm from xxx but why do you think that?" We start talking, and then turns out she's a CPA who recently graduated from my university. We chat for about 10 minutes, and she suddenly gets a phone call from a friend. She ends the call in 30 seconds, and her phone rings again. She answers and after she hangs up and says that her friend is waiting for her. I say that we should exchange our numbers, and she says OK. I text her and she texts me back on the spot. I shake her hand and tell her it was nice to meet her.
Afterwards, I walk around the mall, dazed. Couldn't believe that I actually did it! I did 2 cold approaches in one day. It felt natural and organic, I felt like I was glowing!
For the first time in my life, I stopped finding excuses and shortcuts. I took the initiative, and it felt GREAT!!!!!!
Guys, if you are not in the mood, meditate. I forced myself to meditate for 10 minutes after each set, and the thoughts swirling around in my head shaped into something coherent and conscious. I learned more about myself. I realized that I over-intellectualize things, and that results in no action, in game and in life.