Player tells, and study showing link between casual sex and lower mental health
07-18-2014, 09:31 AM
I'm sure topics like this have been covered before, but here's an interesting article I'm surprised no one has posted, as this has made the rounds on my facebook.
How to Spot a Manipulator
The author's purpose is to 'enlighten' readers as to the strategies of pickup artists in order to avoid casual sex when it's not desired. At the end he has the equivalent of our slut-tells, the player-tells:
Maybe she should have written it up for ROK. But I don't care that much about this. What got my attention was a research study, of which the author was a contributor:
I haven't completely read the study, Risky Business: Is There an Association between Casual Sex and Mental Health among Emerging Adults?. I don't know or don't really care that much about the methodology, but it definitely sparked a thought I've been having for a while about how terrible I've felt while going the casual route.
Previous perceptive exes have pinned me as a serial monogamist. I've written on the f here that sacrificing my quality in pursuit of strange pussy has had a knack of eating at my soul. I realized what tears away at my soul after those strange encounters are two main factors:
1. I'm wasting my time and should be doing something else. I've had these thoughts during sex.
2. I'm wasting her more precious time, in the biological sense. I'm renting cheap pussy I have no interest in keeping. This guilt eats away at me. She's investing in me emotionally, when I can never be available to them. Any mental effort they expel on me is time better spent trying to not waste her biological clock, which is increasingly a problem in the West with people delaying starting a family so late.
I can safely say I've had inklings of depression after these casual encounters, especially considering the best sex I've had has unequivocally been with LTRs.
TLDR; author writes player-tells include exhibiting dark-triad traits, and study showing correlation between casual sex and decreased mental health. Does anyone on the f feel guilt for occupying the mental and physical space of a girl you're not completely interested in?
How to Spot a Manipulator
The author's purpose is to 'enlighten' readers as to the strategies of pickup artists in order to avoid casual sex when it's not desired. At the end he has the equivalent of our slut-tells, the player-tells:
Quote:Quote:
Telltale behavioral signs
1. Engaging in unkind acts such as verbal or physical abuse intended to drive you away.
2. Avoiding physical intimacy other than sexual.
3. Being unwilling to introduce you to the important people in their lives.
4. Openly flirting with others in front of you.
5. Being unavailable and nonresponsive to attempts to maintain or establish contact.
Telltale psychological signs
1. (for men) Seeming to care only about what you can do for them, not how they can help you.
2. (for women) Being late, sloppy, careless, and unconcerned about meeting other people’s expectations.
3. (for women) Seeming unstable, worried, anxious, and insecure.
4. (for both) Being highly preoccupied with their own appearance, showing undue self-centeredness, and expressing feelings of entitlement.
5. (for both) Showing lack of regard for other people’s feelings, not just yours, and expressing lack of remorse for actions in which they caused harm or pain to others.
Maybe she should have written it up for ROK. But I don't care that much about this. What got my attention was a research study, of which the author was a contributor:
Quote:Quote:
For example, in the Bersamin, et al. study of casual sex, the research team (of which I was a part) simply asked participants to report on the frequency of their involvement in casual sex. We then correlated these scores with indices of mental health, revealing that casual sex was indeed linked with lower mental health.
I haven't completely read the study, Risky Business: Is There an Association between Casual Sex and Mental Health among Emerging Adults?. I don't know or don't really care that much about the methodology, but it definitely sparked a thought I've been having for a while about how terrible I've felt while going the casual route.
Previous perceptive exes have pinned me as a serial monogamist. I've written on the f here that sacrificing my quality in pursuit of strange pussy has had a knack of eating at my soul. I realized what tears away at my soul after those strange encounters are two main factors:
1. I'm wasting my time and should be doing something else. I've had these thoughts during sex.
2. I'm wasting her more precious time, in the biological sense. I'm renting cheap pussy I have no interest in keeping. This guilt eats away at me. She's investing in me emotionally, when I can never be available to them. Any mental effort they expel on me is time better spent trying to not waste her biological clock, which is increasingly a problem in the West with people delaying starting a family so late.
I can safely say I've had inklings of depression after these casual encounters, especially considering the best sex I've had has unequivocally been with LTRs.
TLDR; author writes player-tells include exhibiting dark-triad traits, and study showing correlation between casual sex and decreased mental health. Does anyone on the f feel guilt for occupying the mental and physical space of a girl you're not completely interested in?