[Vicious]

I was mobbed this winter when I announced my intention to go to Canada for my next Power Trip and picked Toronto as the city. People were calling me insane and threw verbal punches after me until I from a fetal position yelled "uncle!" and changed my destination to Montreal.

Did I make the right choice? You be the judge. This sheet/report is what I found...



The fundamentals:

Girls
About on par with a European city of similar size. The Canadian population is generally good looking and way slimmer than their North American (NA) sisters south of the border. The average is however dragged down by the large presence of Caribbean and African mixes that seem to have problems with the local diet. Basically you’ll see the same overweight problem in the female black population that the USA is struggling with.

Going by attitude however Montreal girls are generally way friendlier than comparable US girls. I encountered very few bitch shields (at least where there wasn’t language difficulties). There actually was a couple of times when I thought I was doing good with a girl but it turns out she’s just being friendly. Game accordingly. Montreal girls in general thus gave me a very pleasant experience.

Competition
Probably one of the best dressed cities in North America. Guys here put a lot of thought into their dress. Unlike current hip US fashion centers like Bushwick/Williamsburg, the Montreal dress is more classical and timeless and thus just plain better. Still guys here are not particularly aggressive or hustle for girls to any major extent. As a result your competition is in your favor if you stay active and put in the legwork.

One of my fave moments of the week was when some dork moved up to a couple of deep cleavaged girls at the bar at Flyjin and went “Hey girls, I’m the guy here to protect you from any creeps”. After he blew himself out by his own hand hardly a minute later I leaned into them and went “I’m the asshole that guy is supposed to protect you from, should I call him over so he can rescue you?” They both went “NO!”.

Ratios
Now this… Ratios in MTL were generally better than what I’ve seen in most other NA cities. This impression might owe some favor to the fact that I moved very little in Nightclubs. If you work the right time of day, some areas can give you tremendous advantages in terms of ratios. More on this on the individual venues below.

Expense
One of the stronger points of the city. For $880 I landed a sweet designer apartment for 8 nights in the middle of Old Port. Newly renovated and swaggy as raybans on a German Shepherd. Eating out will cost you but given the level of quality of the restaurants in town you get your money’s worth. The STM will carry you to and back from anywhere in town for a meager $5.5. Add the cheap taxis to that and you can have a comfortable stay in MTL on a reasonable dime for a western city.

Logistics
As with most major cities, a centrally located apartment is essential to your stay. Especially if it’s your intention to taste the local flavour of girls. For this Old Port gets my highest recommendation. Charming, safe, great architecture, mad restaurants and bars not to mention some great rooftop terraces. The nightclubs are fewer than in Downtown or Le Plateau.

If you’re here for a shorter stay and just want to take everything in as fast as possible Downtown could however be a better option. You are somewhat to the anglophone party area; Crescent street (which I wouldn’t recommend for a longer stay than a weekend). You’ll also be close to Rue Peel which is a more swanky street with high class restaurants/clubs as well as the high-end shopping mall Les Cours which is good for daygame.

If your French is a step above just conversational the francophone neighbourhood Le Plateau is for you. Here you’ll find the popular St Laurent Boulevard that has everything from high-end restaurants to tiki bars and heavy metal clubs. I got totally blown out her when my courtesy level french ran out after 2 mins. While it’s an area that would be interesting to explore for a longer stay it has its particulars. The area can be called bohemian if you feel kind and even grimey at certain parts. This was something that put me off. Renting here is cheaper than Downtown and Old Port however as long as you stay a couple of streets from St Laurent.



Trivia:

*Fairweather tramps - I did experience some MAJOR flaking when the weather turned bad a few days of the week. All of a sudden roommates were having a crisis with their boyfriend's, cared for mares were giving birth and grandma's were put in to the hospital. It was just bizarre. These were girls that live in fairly central locations as well. The fact that the cancellations came so close and fast totally undid my planning for the last two days and left me sour going back home.

*Credit cards - A minor point but I include it because it's such a convenience. You can pay with a card everywhere in MTL and all their card machines include functions to automatically calculate any tip % you punch in. Wish this makes it across the border.

*Food - Outside Paris and Lyon you'll have some of the best French cuisine available for you here. And it's cheap to eat out too! I didn't have a single bad meal during my stay and I still missed out on flagships such as Toque, Au Pied de Cochon, Gibby's etc. If you prefer to cook your own food don't miss out on visiting Atwater market and Jean Talon. Two (partially) open air markets with local produce.

*Form over function - Montreal is without a doubt a city filled with artists. Rarely have I seen so many public and private spaces/buildings that have been given such a thoroughly aesthetic comb-over. Everything looks spectacular but when you scratch the surface it feels like some pragmatism has been lost along the way in order to make the best presentation. Energy-efficiency, ease-of-use and accessibility feels like somewhat remote concepts.

*Toker town - Possession is legal in Quebec. Never have I experienced so much public weed smoking as in MTL. People are lighting up everywhere and being very overt about it. Even upscale lounges are sporting dudes with blunts at the bar.

*Every kink pleased - Similar to above MTL has an extremely extensive and legal sex industry. You might have heard of the strip clubs that allow touching between client between dancer and client, but there’s also nuru parlors, hand job shacks and… prostate massage joints. I didn’t have the time or inclination to experience the city’s p4p but if it’s your thing MTL has it all.

*A French city, for good and bad - The point that can’t be stressed enough. If you can't speak at least conversational French you are handicapping yourself severely in Montreal. I had major difficulties closing some of the finest chicks (who all seemed to be French) due to language issues. I don’t doubt for a second that if you took these girls out of MTL you would be able to speak English with them just fine. But we were in MTL and suddenly girls are very self-conscious of speaking English. This was extremely frustrating. I can’t really knock the place for sticking to its own culture but anyone travelling here should be aware of this.

*What’s in the water in Ottawa? - The very hottest chicks and most pleasant interactions I had my entire stay where with girls that all were from Ottawa. It was almost uncanny. I met several that were in town over the day for the F1. Couldn’t break them of from their group though I could see that it pained them to have to let go when we couldn’t make plans.

The one Ottawa girl I did bang still has me wondering just what the hell happened. I couldn’t isolate her when she was in town for the races. But I got her number and some very matter-of-factual texting ensued where we just hammered out when she’d come over. This turned out to be a tuesday evening where she’d drive over form Ottawa, arriving at 10pm and making it clear that she’d go home the night after. She shows up in bright red fuck-me-pumps and a little black dress hugging her ass and full tits. She’s a fitness coach and an equestrian so her thighs could strangle an ox as well. We have two drinks at a terrasse then go up to my place, spend 10 mins on the sofa before I have one hand up her dress and we’re tearing up the place. At only 5’4” she still has the power of a wrecking ball and wanted me to nut in her raw (she was wearing a patch). I had to call for a break way before she was out of energy. Having banged another girl earlier in the day didn’t exactly help. Bad timing on my part. In the morning we catch some breakfast and she rolls home and I never hear from her again. If I didn’t know better I’d think I was used.

From these experiences I’d schedule another trip to Ottawa this very second if it wasn’t due to the fact that everyone and their mom I talked to said there’s nothing to do in Ottawa. The city by population seems to be way to small for anything but a passing stay. Shame. The place is definitely on my map.



Where to go in Montreal:

Piknic Electroniqué - Came upon this place by chance and want to smack myself with a sock of ball-bearings for not discovering and researching it prior. Every Sunday from May to September a small EDM festival takes place at the statue of L’homme (The man) in Parc Jean-Drapeau. Stands for mixed drinks and beer are available as well as food. The girls are wearing tiny tops and show up early obviously looking to hang with the likeminded. During the early hours while people were still not drunk enough to be up and dance the place was a gold mine. I just cruised and talked to people, the guys were totally passive so I had my pick of the litter.

Two things killed my efforts though, take heed! I discovered the place by accident when walking to the Metro station after the F1 race (forget getting a taxi from the circuit). Thus I was decked out in my best sunday wear. Gucci loafers, slacks, white Zegna shirt. Basically I stood out like a sore thumb among the summer dressed alternative clinetelé of Piknic. I don’t have a problem deflecting this when it comes up but in combination with running solo I was just too eccentric to really break into the crowds for real. In hindsight I should probably have said I was there to push tabs but had already unloaded them all. Though it kills me that I wasn’t’ prepared for this event/venue I still had a lot of fun. If you’re in MTL on a Sunday you owe it to yourself to go here!

L’atelier d’Argentine - Argentinian steakhouse in Old Port. Good although not great steaks but has a very happening bar in the wee hours. Lots of very hot babes moving here although many are in company, so get subtle. One of only two places in town that could mix me a proper Old-fashioned.

Flyjin - Cool restaurant/night club that more or less requires a reservation or a hook up to get into. The hot place to be right now at the time of writing. Some of the town’s finest specimens on display in here but not an easy venue to work due to its small size.

Le distillerie - One of extremely few bars in town that know how to make proper cocktails as opposed to just pouring ingredients into a high ball glass. Very very heavy on couples and friend groups however and not ideal for running game.

L’assomoir Notre Dame - Great place for 5 á 7 when it fills up FAST. Located in Old Port and close to tons of other energetic restaurants. Pulled an American girl from here who allegedly was in an “open relationship” with her lawyer boyfriend while she mostly stayed at home. Weird gothic looks, but tight body and not like I say no to free snatch.

Takara - Great Japanese restaurant inside the Les Cours Mall. Always have a place that serves sushi near where you day game.

Mechant Boeuf - Good bistro in Old Port with very lively 5 á 7. Great Raw bar and their bison tartar is a must.

Hotel Nelligan - Mad rooftop terrace for bringing a date. The actual hotel is supposed to be very good as well. I believe it from the decor but had no possibility to see the rooms.



The Bottomline:
I had 5 notches in Montreal. 3 from pipelining, 1 from day game and one from happy hour (5 á 7). Quality was not as good as in NYC but that might be an unfair comparison. To its credit the girls were tougher but the interactions not as combative.

Night game did NOTHING for me in MTL but then I’m way too stiff for clubs these days anyhow. I credit my excellent logistics for facilitating most of my bangs (centrally located apartment, repeat it like a mantra).

I’m personally not coming back to MTL. The cost per notch with quality factored can’t really be justified.I will not deny it’s a cool city that deserves being explore, do time it with some of the many festivals however. There are 3 exceptions that would change my no-go recommendation to an endorsement.

1) You can get through in transit or fly in from close and cheap for a weekend.
2) You plan to stay a longer time and will thus be able to play the long game and pick up some french.
3) You’re based in NA and proficient at French.
The last one in particular makes for a hard recommendation of going.