[Lizard King]

(06-25-2014 01:54 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

It would be rather hypocritical of me to not be comfortable with her being in contact with this guy (who also lives across the country) while I also have a friend who is a former lover. I can relate because I know what it's like to have an ex that is better to keep in your life as a friend than a lover.

If both parties are up front and honest about the type of contact they're having with an ex, then what is the problem?

Problems will arise (in a monogamous relationship) is there is contact with an ex, but no honesty about it.

It sounds like your situation is one where there is the required amount of honesty, so much less likely to be the cause of any problems. Everyone knows where they stand.

My situation is not like yours. My current girlfriend used to refer to an ex she is in contact with, as a friend. Unknown to her, until recently, I was fully aware of this 'friend' being an ex; since a female friend of mine, had told me about this guy. It was handy to know about this, and a surprise for my current girlfriend when she found out. When she did find out she stopped mentioning the ex as a friend, and instead used his first name.

I'm satisfied there has been no more than some messages exchanged via facebook, and an occasional phone call, but the idea that a woman contacts an ex because she still has some feelings is very solid. So I continue to tread carefully and not invest too much. I don't see the point in calling her out on the matter, and if it comes to time to eject, I intend to be the first to do so. If I call her out on it, wouldn't that make me seem needy and controlling?