I'm late thirties and I've got three guys i consider genuine friends. Growing up i moved around a lot and was in single parent family with my brother in another county, and had pretty deep friendships with three different kids (all in different cities), quite possibly as a brother replacement. None of whom i'm friends with now. One of which it later transpired betrayed a serious confidence and had been stitching me up behind my back.
Pretty sure that whole event altered my perception of friendship, and people in general really. From that point on never really had that much faith in the ethics of people, by and large. I've gotten over that for the most part but am way more selective about things i share with people, even those close to me. Girlfriends in the past have complained about this, but yeah what can you do. For a good few years after finding out i was a bit of a loner on the back of it, and withdrew into myself way more than is healthy. I've moved on at this point, but still pretty sure the whole experience was a defining moment, which took a long time to get over, if i ever truly have.
I live life on the road these days, spending max 6-9 months in on place, often less, and as is usual for people at this age, rarely make a solid friend. Pretty much all my recent 'mates' (as oppposed to real friends) come from playing sport, which is a great way to get to know other guys. Last time i made a proper friend was about 3 years ago, basically a drinking buddy who having gone on a load of jaunts over the years have become pretty tight.
I cant say i've ever really actively 'sought out' friendship, of the genuine kind. I mean you just have mates that you become tighter with, thru shared experience, going thru bit of adversity and familiarity. When you meet old friends and reminisce, the vast majority of it is about semi-fucked up times, that time you got into that scrape together, and what have you. I guess that's when you form proper bonds. One reason (among many) that old soldiers are always the tightest friends i guess. Not that i'm comparing getting hammered and doing x y z, to getting shelled by artillery, but you get my drift...
Pretty sure that whole event altered my perception of friendship, and people in general really. From that point on never really had that much faith in the ethics of people, by and large. I've gotten over that for the most part but am way more selective about things i share with people, even those close to me. Girlfriends in the past have complained about this, but yeah what can you do. For a good few years after finding out i was a bit of a loner on the back of it, and withdrew into myself way more than is healthy. I've moved on at this point, but still pretty sure the whole experience was a defining moment, which took a long time to get over, if i ever truly have.
I live life on the road these days, spending max 6-9 months in on place, often less, and as is usual for people at this age, rarely make a solid friend. Pretty much all my recent 'mates' (as oppposed to real friends) come from playing sport, which is a great way to get to know other guys. Last time i made a proper friend was about 3 years ago, basically a drinking buddy who having gone on a load of jaunts over the years have become pretty tight.
I cant say i've ever really actively 'sought out' friendship, of the genuine kind. I mean you just have mates that you become tighter with, thru shared experience, going thru bit of adversity and familiarity. When you meet old friends and reminisce, the vast majority of it is about semi-fucked up times, that time you got into that scrape together, and what have you. I guess that's when you form proper bonds. One reason (among many) that old soldiers are always the tightest friends i guess. Not that i'm comparing getting hammered and doing x y z, to getting shelled by artillery, but you get my drift...