Quote: (05-28-2014 10:37 AM)RockHard Wrote:
Damn, WIA, I've asked myself this same thing many times. Emotional Jiu-Jitsu is exactly the phrase I use to describe it. I had this exact convo this morning, and it's always over money. What the fuck is it about women who don't understand the concept of living within your means?
Quote: (05-27-2014 01:30 PM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:
The thing is - how you start is usually how you end up
^ This. Once you set a precedent, you're working against yourself.
Quote: (05-26-2014 01:06 AM)thedude3737 Wrote:
First off, anytime a girl introduces a straw man argument "Stop trying to control me!" then I respond with, "I will not talk to you if you're going to act childish like this. Act like an adult, and I'll speak to you like an adult."
There's a parenting series of books & classes called "Love & Logic" and this is straight out of their playbook. When dealing with a kid having a tantrum, you say "I'll be happy to talk to you when you're calm", or "I love you too much to argue about this". (that last is pure fucking gold). I took a class on the whole method and some of the parents started laughing and jokingly asked "Can I use this on adults?" and the instructor, dead serious, said "absolutely". Google the Love & Logic thing, the basics are really easy. It's all about frame control and not losing your shit when dealing with irrationality.
Having said that, I find it really hard to put this into practice. One of those areas where it's easy to intellectualize something but tough to live it.
Side story, there's a kid in my neighborhood who was a super bitchy little 4 year old. One time she wanted to come inside and play with my kid and it was almost dinner time and I honestly didn't feel like having the kid in my house at that moment, so I said no. She looks up at me and says "I hate you". I very calmly said "That makes me really sad to hear you say that". Kid's jaw dropped. She had no words for that, I believe because I didn't do what her parents do and placate or hate on her.
I think this is probably the best advice that can probably be given on this topic with girls who are emotional, unrational, crazy. I use the same strategy in a way but love your wording as mine normally comes out as I'm not gonnna do this again or I'm not gonna listen to this shit. Calm the fuck down and you can talk to me and then I walk away. Obviously your way is much more cordial, much more disciplines and will probably go over better and get better results. Thanks.