You need to put yourself into a stressful environment.
Somewhere where you'll be at the end of your wits just trying to survive. And where you cannot quit and walk away.
Inner game issue.
When you have to push yourself to the limit to merely survive and where the choice to quit is taken away from you.... That is where you'll be humbled and discover true courage, true ingenuity, true fear... And true self confidence.
Right nw you have a set mental image and youre approaching every problem with a similar competitive approach. Where you succeed, it reinforces the value of your approach and where you don't succeed with this you backward rationalize it as you being unnecessarily hypercompetitive and get depressed. And now you've started wondering whether there's something wrong with you, there probably isn't but your brain will hand pick incidents from your memory to convince yourself of it.
In reality I suspect that this hyper competitiveness is really a reaction seeking to overcompensate your low self esteem issues.
Throw yourself in the fire, go DO things you're terrified of.
At the end of the day, there will always be someone who will be bigger and better than you.
But when you actually do shit, when you actually have been through scenarios where you thought and knew you were fucked and yet somehow survived, when you defeat those irrational fears, those demons in your head that are holding you back from jumping of a cliff or talking to women or attempting to get into Stanford, and you say fuck it to those fears and go burn your heart out doing those things anyway just to prove a fuckin point to your diseased brain, that's when you'll realize they were all exaggerated.
And eventually, no matter how many tall sharp handsome men with silver tongues and monstrous phalluses you encounter, you will not be threatened by them.
Somewhere where you'll be at the end of your wits just trying to survive. And where you cannot quit and walk away.
Inner game issue.
When you have to push yourself to the limit to merely survive and where the choice to quit is taken away from you.... That is where you'll be humbled and discover true courage, true ingenuity, true fear... And true self confidence.
Right nw you have a set mental image and youre approaching every problem with a similar competitive approach. Where you succeed, it reinforces the value of your approach and where you don't succeed with this you backward rationalize it as you being unnecessarily hypercompetitive and get depressed. And now you've started wondering whether there's something wrong with you, there probably isn't but your brain will hand pick incidents from your memory to convince yourself of it.
In reality I suspect that this hyper competitiveness is really a reaction seeking to overcompensate your low self esteem issues.
Throw yourself in the fire, go DO things you're terrified of.
At the end of the day, there will always be someone who will be bigger and better than you.
But when you actually do shit, when you actually have been through scenarios where you thought and knew you were fucked and yet somehow survived, when you defeat those irrational fears, those demons in your head that are holding you back from jumping of a cliff or talking to women or attempting to get into Stanford, and you say fuck it to those fears and go burn your heart out doing those things anyway just to prove a fuckin point to your diseased brain, that's when you'll realize they were all exaggerated.
And eventually, no matter how many tall sharp handsome men with silver tongues and monstrous phalluses you encounter, you will not be threatened by them.