[Barron]

I'm the guy that got into game because I wanted to be able to attract "the woman" of my choosing. But as a consequence of learning about game, I was also exposed to Red Pill ideology. As time went on and as I took more trips to eastern Europe, the paradigm shift that is the Red Pill began to takes its toll. In the ongoing process of self improvement I've had certain realizations along the way which have allowed me to stamp out beta/blue pill beliefs and behaviors. Today I had one of those realizations:

All my notches are just a symptom of trying to find "the one".

Every single girl I've ever banged has been filtered through my screening process of her potentially becoming a lifelong mate. I believe this is of particular significance because even as Red Pill as I think I am, I'm still unable to completely shake this "wife-ing" mentality so that I can bang with impunity like so many of you guys are able to do. I feel this severely inhibits my ability to improve at game, but there is some type of morality conflict in my head which is preventing me from moving forward. Fact is I want to build a harem and spin plates but can't shake this last vestige of beta programming.