I took a heroic dose of psilocybin shrooms yesterday. Had an excellent trip, alone. It was very introspective and just joyful. It is funny that in many cases you lose the ability to understand things automatically -- you have to manually realize the meaning for words, how things relate to one another and so on. This kind of let's you re-think some of your values logically because in reality we may have many values which we didn't think for ourselves. Majority of these brainwashed values are illogical but they are rooted so deep inside you that you cannot help but react to them with illogical emotional responses. I just read Nathaniel Branden's Psychology of Self-esteem and he talked a lot about this how emotions are nothing but value-responses, where some values are logically thought reflecting the reality but some aren't.
During this trip I experienced first time this thing what people call the 'ego death'. Didn't expect it, didn't believe in it, didn't try to achieve it. It just happened. I believe I achieved the state momentarily for 3-4 times. It usually doesn't last very long because the ego and thoughts step back in very quickly. The moment you realize you have experienced the glimpse of sudden awakening, the understanding of it will destroy it.
Whole concept of zen is about seeing consistently the glimpses of the world outside the conceptual mind. The classic zen koans are often about making a paradox to your mind which lets you realize that everything is just what a mind does. It is fucking nuts and just irrational, illogical for the conceptual mind because it is outside of it. This whole thing doesn't make any sense, and that is kind of point of it, it makes sense by making not sense. You just cannot put a finger on it.
During this trip I experienced first time this thing what people call the 'ego death'. Didn't expect it, didn't believe in it, didn't try to achieve it. It just happened. I believe I achieved the state momentarily for 3-4 times. It usually doesn't last very long because the ego and thoughts step back in very quickly. The moment you realize you have experienced the glimpse of sudden awakening, the understanding of it will destroy it.
Whole concept of zen is about seeing consistently the glimpses of the world outside the conceptual mind. The classic zen koans are often about making a paradox to your mind which lets you realize that everything is just what a mind does. It is fucking nuts and just irrational, illogical for the conceptual mind because it is outside of it. This whole thing doesn't make any sense, and that is kind of point of it, it makes sense by making not sense. You just cannot put a finger on it.