Quote: (12-23-2013 04:43 PM)pants Wrote:
What is the source of your anxiety?
I come from a home where people really hold back on their emotions and don´t really speak their mind. So often it feels like there tons of tension in the air. I think growing up in these conditions was not that healthy. My role models in handling emotions were not that good, and my family often focus on "bigger better". Hard time to be pleased with average.
Yeah, how we grew up can kind of screw us up. But the good news is you're an adult, and you don't have to listen to your family any more and don't have to buy into their lessons. A family is not a tyrannical dictatorship that you can't escape (unless you're a child and can't take care of yourself). You can learn to be more assertive with your family, throw off the chains, and live how you want to. Physical distance helps. I live over 2000 miles from my family - I like it that way.
You can learn new social skills and assertiveness skills.
What are you scared of?
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Express my self. I often feel like i have to dial it down a notch. As a big dude I often feel like I can scare other people, and then I have to dial down my emotions.
So what. You have every right in the world to express yourself like every other person does. Besides, being big and intimidating has a lot of advantages. You probably cause a lot of gina tingles and and don't even realize it. You have natural built-in pea-cocking. A good friend of mine is 6'4". When we walk into a bar, everyone stops and looks at him. He tells me he feels like he's providing a freak show for everyone - I tell him he's looking at it all wrong, he's getting attention just by being him.
Seems to me from limited information provided here, you feel like you have to tip toe through life on eggshells because of your size. My friend is like that too. Learning assertiveness and understanding you have a right to express yourself just like everyone else will go a long way in helping your anxiety. Assertiveness is different from aggressive, a lot of people confuse the two.
Here's a good book on assertiveness. http://www.amazon.com/Your-Perfect-Right...and+emmons
Take care of those titties for me.