This is something I have learned and benefitted greatly from through my own experience. There are many ways to become more attractive, and you probably know some of them. Workout, dress well, get a quality haircut. These things help but sometimes what is really necessary to become more attractive is to change your belief system.
This ties to confidence. Knowing you are attractive makes you confident. Being confident is attractive. It's a cycle.
Some new guys that may have just discovered game may not have that confidence. They might not have that belief that they are generally attractive to women.
This is something I experienced when I first started just over a year ago. And back then I had been working out for some time already and was in decent shape, and dressed reasonably well (not very hard to out dress college aged peers). Despite this, I still didn't think girls in general found me attractive. I needed to fix this, and I found a solution.
I kept a journal, and I detailed situations or times I received interest from girls.
Every single time I had a girl show interest in me, either through body language, physical actions, or verbal interest, I'd jot it down.
At first it was slow. I'd probably add in only a couple or so additions a week, with the date and brief point of what type of interest she gave me. My first points were along the lines of:
- girl introduces herself to me in a class
- girl standing beside me in line for food asks me what I am going to get
- girl locks eye contact with me several times across the room in the library
Eventually, as I started to take these down, I noticed that overtime these became more frequent and more intense. Before I'd be writing down points where girls I didn't know made lots of eye contact with me, and later I was writing about how girls would outright approach me in social situations. I made sure to write down every time I got make out at the club, and made a note of how attractive I thought the girl was and how long the interaction turned out.
I wrote down dates I had, and how attractive and fun the girls were. I wrote down my first few successful pulls and lays. I noticed that the more journal entries I made, the more often I was having to make them, and the more novel the situations were. I wrote down some of my most flattering verbal comments I could have never dreamed of when I had first started this, ones that come to mind:
- girl tells me 'I found out why I'm so awkward around you. You're so confident with yourself its intimidating.'
- girl asks me if I can pose nude for her while she attempts to draw me
- girl tells me she likes my scent and I ask her why and she says I smell like 'sex appeal'
It got to the point where it became too much of a burden to continue this journal. After every night out I'd have too many entries that I was forgetting and it was a pain to jot everything down. Its important to note however I'm not walking into clubs and having hot girls swarm over me asking me to take them home. I don't get approached very often but the amount of approach invitations can be insane, depending on the night and the venue. If I had tighter logistics and tighter closing game which I'm still working on, my pull rates would be much higher. I've had many strong attraction displays and pull attempts, I'm still working on increasing my conversion rates.
It never was like this when I first started.
I learned to internalize that I am generally attractive to women, and the more you believe it, the more it becomes true, and the more often you will find success. Positive thinking breeds success.
This is something quality players already have. They already know they are the shit and that any girl should value their presence because they know they are a high quality man and won't settle for less.
But this belief might be something new guys might struggle with. And that's where you can do something about it.
Just take this with a grain of salt. Constantly looking towards validation from women isn't healthy. And you should be obviously improving yourself in other areas. Combining multiple factors together will increase your success. I feel this is something that isn't talked about too often and is a factor you can definitely work on and use to your advantage.
This ties to confidence. Knowing you are attractive makes you confident. Being confident is attractive. It's a cycle.
Some new guys that may have just discovered game may not have that confidence. They might not have that belief that they are generally attractive to women.
This is something I experienced when I first started just over a year ago. And back then I had been working out for some time already and was in decent shape, and dressed reasonably well (not very hard to out dress college aged peers). Despite this, I still didn't think girls in general found me attractive. I needed to fix this, and I found a solution.
I kept a journal, and I detailed situations or times I received interest from girls.
Every single time I had a girl show interest in me, either through body language, physical actions, or verbal interest, I'd jot it down.
At first it was slow. I'd probably add in only a couple or so additions a week, with the date and brief point of what type of interest she gave me. My first points were along the lines of:
- girl introduces herself to me in a class
- girl standing beside me in line for food asks me what I am going to get
- girl locks eye contact with me several times across the room in the library
Eventually, as I started to take these down, I noticed that overtime these became more frequent and more intense. Before I'd be writing down points where girls I didn't know made lots of eye contact with me, and later I was writing about how girls would outright approach me in social situations. I made sure to write down every time I got make out at the club, and made a note of how attractive I thought the girl was and how long the interaction turned out.
I wrote down dates I had, and how attractive and fun the girls were. I wrote down my first few successful pulls and lays. I noticed that the more journal entries I made, the more often I was having to make them, and the more novel the situations were. I wrote down some of my most flattering verbal comments I could have never dreamed of when I had first started this, ones that come to mind:
- girl tells me 'I found out why I'm so awkward around you. You're so confident with yourself its intimidating.'
- girl asks me if I can pose nude for her while she attempts to draw me
- girl tells me she likes my scent and I ask her why and she says I smell like 'sex appeal'
It got to the point where it became too much of a burden to continue this journal. After every night out I'd have too many entries that I was forgetting and it was a pain to jot everything down. Its important to note however I'm not walking into clubs and having hot girls swarm over me asking me to take them home. I don't get approached very often but the amount of approach invitations can be insane, depending on the night and the venue. If I had tighter logistics and tighter closing game which I'm still working on, my pull rates would be much higher. I've had many strong attraction displays and pull attempts, I'm still working on increasing my conversion rates.
It never was like this when I first started.
I learned to internalize that I am generally attractive to women, and the more you believe it, the more it becomes true, and the more often you will find success. Positive thinking breeds success.
This is something quality players already have. They already know they are the shit and that any girl should value their presence because they know they are a high quality man and won't settle for less.
But this belief might be something new guys might struggle with. And that's where you can do something about it.
Just take this with a grain of salt. Constantly looking towards validation from women isn't healthy. And you should be obviously improving yourself in other areas. Combining multiple factors together will increase your success. I feel this is something that isn't talked about too often and is a factor you can definitely work on and use to your advantage.