I had a stalker that went nuts on me, and wrote about it on this forum. It was obvious she was totally making up stories, and I beat two restraining orders thanks to a not inept attorney. I was vindicated, however, I spent about $4300, and only as a defendatant, I was pro se as a plaintiff, had to miss 2 weeks of school, and was mentally traumatized big time. I lost about 20 lbs in 2 months. If you sit in district court, at least have of the actions are restraining orders. SP5 has done a great write up. Prevention is of course the best strategy. I am very surprised I have not heard more stalker stories on this forum. A couple of thoughts:
1. Suing for defamation/Libel. You will find a correlation between psycho behavior and nothing to lose, in which case she wont have any money. Plus, you are going to be knee deep in a shitstorm you have been waiting to move on from. It's not practical and will wind up costing you a lot of money.
2. The "victim's" testimony IS evidence. Don't get comfortable thinking there is no evidence.
3. If the chick is tech savvy watch the fuck out. Hacking your passwords or even bugging your phone is not that hard.
4. Most of you guys are more alpha than me and can handle bitches. It won't happen overnight. Don't let on that they are pushing your buttons.
5. If you live alone in a single family house you are especially vulnerable. Nobody is around to see whats up. I would recommend having a trusted friend you can call if she starts showing up at your crib. Someone that lives close by.
6. File first. File First. File first. Forget about being a man. Of course don't make shit up but if she is threatening you then drop one on her first. Some states have alternative harassment orders which are more appropriate but not as strong.
7. Some states allow private individuals to bring criminal charges. Although ultimately the DA has to agree to prosecute, you can still drag her in for a probable cause hearing in front of a magistrate. In my state something as simple as annoying telephone calls or emails is a criminal offense. I had probable cause to bring forth 4 or 5 different charges, and was ready to if things did not stop. However, my attorney said you should not threaten criminal charges as a predicate to terminate domestic proceedings as it is seen as unethical etc... "So don't say, if you don't stop with the restraining orders I will file criminal charges."
8. You should have a cash stash, I would recommend at least $5000.
9. My chick was ghetto. Yes..stay away.
10. I would watch out for certain occupations which are by nature confrontational.
11. Most certainly all of these women will have early tells. I was purposefully ignorant because I thought everything would work itself out. Some obvious ones are:
a)Overall angry person.
b)Enjoys arguing/fighting veiled as debating.
c)Nomadic in nature, has lived in many different places. A past that is difficult to account for.
d)pathological lying. It's kind of obvious, but these chicks will lie about everything, little stuff that there is no reason to lie about so you don't even suspect it.
e)History of childhood sexual abuse.
f)short fuse. Obsessed with respect.
g)Thinks the world is against her...came out of the womb as a victim.
h)disregard for rules/rule of law. Comfortable with criminal behavior.
i)Insomniac.
j)Aroused by confrontation/drama.
h)says disturbingly weird shit when you're fucking her.
Another tip, you may want to preemptively retain a lawyer. It was difficult to find someone that would promise to show up in court for my hearing. These cases are shitty and a lot of lawyers, good ones that already make money, don't want to touch them. You will probably have 10 days to 2 weeks between when she gets the RO ex parte to the hearing. When you factor in weekends, you are going to have 3 or 4 days if you're lucky to find a lawyer.
The landscape is quite ominous, and I doubt very much things will get better anytime soon. Just be prepared and hope your preparation is for naught.
1. Suing for defamation/Libel. You will find a correlation between psycho behavior and nothing to lose, in which case she wont have any money. Plus, you are going to be knee deep in a shitstorm you have been waiting to move on from. It's not practical and will wind up costing you a lot of money.
2. The "victim's" testimony IS evidence. Don't get comfortable thinking there is no evidence.
3. If the chick is tech savvy watch the fuck out. Hacking your passwords or even bugging your phone is not that hard.
4. Most of you guys are more alpha than me and can handle bitches. It won't happen overnight. Don't let on that they are pushing your buttons.
5. If you live alone in a single family house you are especially vulnerable. Nobody is around to see whats up. I would recommend having a trusted friend you can call if she starts showing up at your crib. Someone that lives close by.
6. File first. File First. File first. Forget about being a man. Of course don't make shit up but if she is threatening you then drop one on her first. Some states have alternative harassment orders which are more appropriate but not as strong.
7. Some states allow private individuals to bring criminal charges. Although ultimately the DA has to agree to prosecute, you can still drag her in for a probable cause hearing in front of a magistrate. In my state something as simple as annoying telephone calls or emails is a criminal offense. I had probable cause to bring forth 4 or 5 different charges, and was ready to if things did not stop. However, my attorney said you should not threaten criminal charges as a predicate to terminate domestic proceedings as it is seen as unethical etc... "So don't say, if you don't stop with the restraining orders I will file criminal charges."
8. You should have a cash stash, I would recommend at least $5000.
9. My chick was ghetto. Yes..stay away.
10. I would watch out for certain occupations which are by nature confrontational.
11. Most certainly all of these women will have early tells. I was purposefully ignorant because I thought everything would work itself out. Some obvious ones are:
a)Overall angry person.
b)Enjoys arguing/fighting veiled as debating.
c)Nomadic in nature, has lived in many different places. A past that is difficult to account for.
d)pathological lying. It's kind of obvious, but these chicks will lie about everything, little stuff that there is no reason to lie about so you don't even suspect it.
e)History of childhood sexual abuse.
f)short fuse. Obsessed with respect.
g)Thinks the world is against her...came out of the womb as a victim.
h)disregard for rules/rule of law. Comfortable with criminal behavior.
i)Insomniac.
j)Aroused by confrontation/drama.
h)says disturbingly weird shit when you're fucking her.
Another tip, you may want to preemptively retain a lawyer. It was difficult to find someone that would promise to show up in court for my hearing. These cases are shitty and a lot of lawyers, good ones that already make money, don't want to touch them. You will probably have 10 days to 2 weeks between when she gets the RO ex parte to the hearing. When you factor in weekends, you are going to have 3 or 4 days if you're lucky to find a lawyer.
The landscape is quite ominous, and I doubt very much things will get better anytime soon. Just be prepared and hope your preparation is for naught.