Has everyone here videotaped (or recorded) themselves speaking? Because one thing I've heard women say a lot is "I liked him till he opened his mouth."
Often, a high, whiny voice will completely undercut the way you look or your game. So will speaking like one of the "Big Bang Theory" guys or the rabbi on "Seinfeld" (I know guys who speak like this IRL). Sometimes regional accents are seen as "declasse." Anyone have these? These types of speaking voices all go along with accompanying mannerisms which can be a tricky thing. Overdo the masculine energy or the "positive vibe" and you come off like a blowhard. Do too little of it and you end up a wimp.
While this might seem harsh and arbitrary, it makes sense if you turn the tables. How many of us have gotten excited over a hottie only to be completely turned off when she opened her mouth and out came a mannish voice like Emma Stone's -- replete with mannerisms. This has happened to me.
In a way, gaming is like acting. You have to calibrate just the right persona, esp. during a first impression. If this is a recurrent problem for some of you, I'd recommend asking a female friend for a no-holds-barred critique of your style.
I did this once. The woman I asked said I was "cute but too hyper and anxious." I asked her for an example of a guy who wasn't like this. She said "Dylan from 90210." So I watched a bunch of it and took on a bunch of his mannerisms, specifically the way he slooowly took his time between words and how he kept his voice at one tone (rarely getting high-pitched). I'm in a field where I do interviews, so I was able to track my progress through my interview tapes. This worked out not only when it came to women, but in business too.
Beyond that, women often do illogical things like turn off to men they liked a second ago because they're...women -- something every guy from Dickens to Franklin to Flavor Flav has complained about at some point.
Often, a high, whiny voice will completely undercut the way you look or your game. So will speaking like one of the "Big Bang Theory" guys or the rabbi on "Seinfeld" (I know guys who speak like this IRL). Sometimes regional accents are seen as "declasse." Anyone have these? These types of speaking voices all go along with accompanying mannerisms which can be a tricky thing. Overdo the masculine energy or the "positive vibe" and you come off like a blowhard. Do too little of it and you end up a wimp.
While this might seem harsh and arbitrary, it makes sense if you turn the tables. How many of us have gotten excited over a hottie only to be completely turned off when she opened her mouth and out came a mannish voice like Emma Stone's -- replete with mannerisms. This has happened to me.
In a way, gaming is like acting. You have to calibrate just the right persona, esp. during a first impression. If this is a recurrent problem for some of you, I'd recommend asking a female friend for a no-holds-barred critique of your style.
I did this once. The woman I asked said I was "cute but too hyper and anxious." I asked her for an example of a guy who wasn't like this. She said "Dylan from 90210." So I watched a bunch of it and took on a bunch of his mannerisms, specifically the way he slooowly took his time between words and how he kept his voice at one tone (rarely getting high-pitched). I'm in a field where I do interviews, so I was able to track my progress through my interview tapes. This worked out not only when it came to women, but in business too.
Beyond that, women often do illogical things like turn off to men they liked a second ago because they're...women -- something every guy from Dickens to Franklin to Flavor Flav has complained about at some point.