Quote: (10-12-2013 06:19 AM)Sebastian Wrote:
I find it very hard to be friends with girls if you just randomly meet them in public.
BUT isn't it hard to be friends with guys as well by that way?
I think you have to offer something special to be friends with them like business transaction.
(You need a realtor to find a good house. Realtor needs to make money off of you)
Isn't it true after people grew up? you might hangout with your high school friends by just doing nothing (watching sports, playing video games, drinking some beer over chit chat etc)
I can't imagine either of us is going to ask each other to do those things after meeting in random places.
In the end, you have to offer something that will benefit them.
(maybe you got connections in business world. you can get them through the door like VIP in clubs. you have the same hobbies and you can show them better. you know the language they want to learn. you have better knowledge in the field they work at.)
Obviously you won't even consider being friends with him/her in the first place if you don't see any future benefits.
When I say something like this, people might say 'not everyone is like that' (it's like girls saying 'I only care about personality' in dating)
The truth is you can't be friends with either of the sex just because you are nice.
Do you care if a girl is just nice? she needs to have that 'hook' right?
That hook in making friends is about 'what you got to offer'
There is truth in your words but from my own experience. Guys who have a lot of female friends offer FUN, nothing more. That is why the girls want to hang out with them, introduce them to their friends, go out, etc.
Those are the guys who get laid the most because they have to do minimal effort. Their female friends just hook them up. I'm not that guy. That is why I opened this thread to get some insight.
I do have a friend who has this "social intelligence", offers fun and the life of the party. He talks a lot. He is little bit below average looking. I think it is not what he says or does. His English is worse than mine. I think what makes him what he is, is his intentions. He assumes that girls will like him. He assumes he is the life of the party. He has status.