Before asking the question I'd like to define the playground as the advice which is good for one goal/persona is useless for another.
My situation is the following. In clubs and bars I am interested only in one night stands obtained with minimum effort from my side (I'd rather skip on girl than spend more time on her). No dates, no phone numbers. I go out typically once a week for a few hours, and do either karaoke or dancing. Generally I do not enjoy talking to people in general with few exceptions of some very bright people. I can easily do it when necessary to achieve my goal, but typically this would be something I consider a chore, not something I would enjoy.
Now, the question is whether I should approach or not. The reason I'm asking is that I see very low feedback when I approach - in most cases she expects me to spend more effort on her than I'm willing to, which means the approach dies sooner or later. I would guess my success rate to be around 1 per 60 approaches or so. It also feels like I'm doing most of the work, and resistance often happens.
However if I do not approach anyone at all, and just sit there and expect to be approached, the success rate goes up dramatically - now it is more like 1 per 5 approaches or so. There is no bitch shield or crap tests, she is also more eager to keep the conversation going, and not only there is no resistance, but she often actually pushes it. It is obvious why it happens, so it is quite reliable.
So the benefits of not approaching are obvious. Now, what are the drawbacks?
1. I can spend the whole evening in a bar without talking to a single person. This is not a big deal for me, as I'm not a very social person (by American standards I'm likely to be considered anti-social which again is good). However I have no idea whether it affects anything else.
2. The overall success rate is significantly less because not every girl is going to approach a guy she considers attractive/fuck partner. Therefore by not approaching I am missing this chunk of the population, which may be significant. However this is offset by the fact that a major part of those girls would put up at least some resistance which I would be too lazy to push through.
3. I am not improving my approach skills. However in my situation it appears to be a useless skill anyway. There is a (very small) chance it may become useful in future, but I'd rather spend time on improving something I need right now, not in a far future.
I do not see any other drawbacks. But there is a good chance I am missing something from the big picture, or there are some missing parts of the equation. Therefore this request for comments.
My situation is the following. In clubs and bars I am interested only in one night stands obtained with minimum effort from my side (I'd rather skip on girl than spend more time on her). No dates, no phone numbers. I go out typically once a week for a few hours, and do either karaoke or dancing. Generally I do not enjoy talking to people in general with few exceptions of some very bright people. I can easily do it when necessary to achieve my goal, but typically this would be something I consider a chore, not something I would enjoy.
Now, the question is whether I should approach or not. The reason I'm asking is that I see very low feedback when I approach - in most cases she expects me to spend more effort on her than I'm willing to, which means the approach dies sooner or later. I would guess my success rate to be around 1 per 60 approaches or so. It also feels like I'm doing most of the work, and resistance often happens.
However if I do not approach anyone at all, and just sit there and expect to be approached, the success rate goes up dramatically - now it is more like 1 per 5 approaches or so. There is no bitch shield or crap tests, she is also more eager to keep the conversation going, and not only there is no resistance, but she often actually pushes it. It is obvious why it happens, so it is quite reliable.
So the benefits of not approaching are obvious. Now, what are the drawbacks?
1. I can spend the whole evening in a bar without talking to a single person. This is not a big deal for me, as I'm not a very social person (by American standards I'm likely to be considered anti-social which again is good). However I have no idea whether it affects anything else.
2. The overall success rate is significantly less because not every girl is going to approach a guy she considers attractive/fuck partner. Therefore by not approaching I am missing this chunk of the population, which may be significant. However this is offset by the fact that a major part of those girls would put up at least some resistance which I would be too lazy to push through.
3. I am not improving my approach skills. However in my situation it appears to be a useless skill anyway. There is a (very small) chance it may become useful in future, but I'd rather spend time on improving something I need right now, not in a far future.
I do not see any other drawbacks. But there is a good chance I am missing something from the big picture, or there are some missing parts of the equation. Therefore this request for comments.