Definition of frenemy - person or group that is friendly toward another because the relationship brings benefits, but harbors feelings of resentment or rivalry.
I am usually quick to cut off unloyal people from my life. Since i was a kid, i hardly ever gave a second chance to people who were unloyal to me. I come from a family where we have strong principles such as: somebody lends you something, you must give it back, somebody lends you money, you must pay it back, what is not yours, its not yours, you dont steal from friends or family or whoever invited you into their homes. As i grew older i always made sure that i was surrounded by people who i could trust, i never saw the point of hanging out with people who were unloyal to me. The older i get, the more i notice that the majority of people are unloyal, and that it is very hard to find people who are loyal, specially with money.
I spend less time in London than ever before and i have noticed that i have less people to hang out with comparing to years ago and less parties to attend (before i was invited to a party every friday and saturday), i know part of that is because i am always travelling but i believe one of the main reason is that i cut off a LOT of people from my life.
Let me give a quick example: There was this dude that was my close friend for few years, he is probably the best player i have ever met and hanging out with him really got my game on some super level. We lived together for a year, fucked a lot of chicks, video recorded bitches, gangbanged house wives, we would back up each other whenever we got into a fight, he was very red pill about life and he brought a lot of value to my life. Then one day when i told him that i was going to travel for a while, i told him that he probably wants to go live back at his house. When he was packing his shit, he stole some stuff from my house (cd, shorts and some other shit). I noticed that after few days of his departure, i called him and told him that he had 2 days to bring my shit back or we would have a serious problem. He brought most of my shit back and one thing that was missing he told me it wasnt him, for me to look properly at my house. From that day i just thought "fuck this dude", he lived in my house for a year, i didnt even charge him rent (the rent i was paying was very minimal anyway, no more than 100 dollars a month) and this is the thank you i get, i am not hanging out with him again.
He tried to call me few times after that but i showed him that i had no interest in hanging out with him again.
I have this "friend" who challenged my approach last time we talked. He said that i shouldn't cut off somebody from my life just because they were unloyal to me, he told me i may need these people again in the future. He told me i could just keep them as friends but trust them less, so if for example i lent somebody money and he didn't pay it back, next time he needs money again, i just don't lend him anymore but we can still be friends. He also said"You know that a friend can steal something from your house? Well, dont allow them to come into your house but you guys can hang out in clubs and shit like that".
I wonder if my approach is somewhat distorted in relation to be quick to cut off people from my life. Many of you have more life experience than me, i would be glad if i could get some advice on this.
Is it better to hang out with a frenemy or get rid of them for good? Of course the majority of fake friends are not worth our time, but what about somebody that actually gives you value but fucked up some loyalty laws, is there an exception for that type of person?
Note: I am not bitching about this, i just want to find out if I am taking the best approach on this.
Mods: I am putting on this section because i believe this is part of lifestyle management but feel free to move it on the everything else section if you believe that is the right section.
I am usually quick to cut off unloyal people from my life. Since i was a kid, i hardly ever gave a second chance to people who were unloyal to me. I come from a family where we have strong principles such as: somebody lends you something, you must give it back, somebody lends you money, you must pay it back, what is not yours, its not yours, you dont steal from friends or family or whoever invited you into their homes. As i grew older i always made sure that i was surrounded by people who i could trust, i never saw the point of hanging out with people who were unloyal to me. The older i get, the more i notice that the majority of people are unloyal, and that it is very hard to find people who are loyal, specially with money.
I spend less time in London than ever before and i have noticed that i have less people to hang out with comparing to years ago and less parties to attend (before i was invited to a party every friday and saturday), i know part of that is because i am always travelling but i believe one of the main reason is that i cut off a LOT of people from my life.
Let me give a quick example: There was this dude that was my close friend for few years, he is probably the best player i have ever met and hanging out with him really got my game on some super level. We lived together for a year, fucked a lot of chicks, video recorded bitches, gangbanged house wives, we would back up each other whenever we got into a fight, he was very red pill about life and he brought a lot of value to my life. Then one day when i told him that i was going to travel for a while, i told him that he probably wants to go live back at his house. When he was packing his shit, he stole some stuff from my house (cd, shorts and some other shit). I noticed that after few days of his departure, i called him and told him that he had 2 days to bring my shit back or we would have a serious problem. He brought most of my shit back and one thing that was missing he told me it wasnt him, for me to look properly at my house. From that day i just thought "fuck this dude", he lived in my house for a year, i didnt even charge him rent (the rent i was paying was very minimal anyway, no more than 100 dollars a month) and this is the thank you i get, i am not hanging out with him again.
He tried to call me few times after that but i showed him that i had no interest in hanging out with him again.
I have this "friend" who challenged my approach last time we talked. He said that i shouldn't cut off somebody from my life just because they were unloyal to me, he told me i may need these people again in the future. He told me i could just keep them as friends but trust them less, so if for example i lent somebody money and he didn't pay it back, next time he needs money again, i just don't lend him anymore but we can still be friends. He also said"You know that a friend can steal something from your house? Well, dont allow them to come into your house but you guys can hang out in clubs and shit like that".
I wonder if my approach is somewhat distorted in relation to be quick to cut off people from my life. Many of you have more life experience than me, i would be glad if i could get some advice on this.
Is it better to hang out with a frenemy or get rid of them for good? Of course the majority of fake friends are not worth our time, but what about somebody that actually gives you value but fucked up some loyalty laws, is there an exception for that type of person?
Note: I am not bitching about this, i just want to find out if I am taking the best approach on this.
Mods: I am putting on this section because i believe this is part of lifestyle management but feel free to move it on the everything else section if you believe that is the right section.