Quote: (05-28-2013 06:56 PM)TheRookie Wrote:
Nek, I like your mindset, but you should also consider you are failing her shit tests. A girl inviting you over for a platonic massage is a massive shit test. She is seeing if you will be an orbiter or if you have some dignity and a spine. Then she reminds you about a beach date. She is taking the lead and she is not going to respect you as long as you are not taking the lead. Finally, she talked about fucking your friend right in front of you. Another shit test. Seeing if you will be a compliant beta orbiter.
Also, you were trying to kiss her at her workplace, the bar, a bad idea on its face.
If you had to do this all over again, some ideas:
1. Be coy at her workplace, try to move her somewhere discreet where she will be less inhibited and more willing to kiss. Do not linger long at her bar.
2. Reject the massage invite - disqualify yourself - saying you're not that type of guy, you have to be wined and dined, not that easy etc.
3. Do not reward her for not sleeping with you by staying the night with her. If you absolutely can't go home make an excuse about how you can't share a bed and sleep on her couch, or roll over and sleep back facing her like a lump.
4. If you are less compliant I doubt she will rub her fucking your friend in your face, but if she does this is outright rude - pump and dump if you can or vaguely cut her off and don't spend time with her.
Quote: (05-27-2013 07:55 PM)nek Wrote:
I've turned a corner...
While we casually use the term "manwhore" to describe a guy who sleeps around, the term more aptly applies to a man who wastes his time on women intent on wasting it. See while a woman's most valuable asset is her body, a man's is his time.
Recently, I was talking to this girl who had asked me for my number, would text me wanting to meet up all the time, told me how attractive she found me, and when we did meet up she was quite warm with me. However, when it came time to escalate, she'd shy away. When I tried to kiss her, she'd give me her cheek. So the first couple times this happened I didn't fret too much as it was in public at the place she works (she's a bartender, but this was always during closing time when the bar was nearly empty or empty). However, she invited me to her place one night and wanted me to massage her back with lotion. She took her top off in a fashion that I couldn't see her tits and laid down. While rubbing her back I started to escalate again but the same thing happened, she averted my advances. So we go to sleep and the next morning before I leave she reminds me of a beach date I said we'd go on and to text her the day before to let her know when we'd go at.
I smiled and left. On that drive home however, I realized then and there that she was wasting my time based on a few things. A) She didn't respond when I escalated, B) She'd mentioned her "asshole" ex a few times, and C) she'd talked about a friend of hers she'd fucked in front of me while at a party at her house the same night I slept over. With regard to C, I don't care about her sleeping around as I had no intention of dating her, but it goes to show she's not against casual sex, she's just against it with me.
This is where things change. She's a very attractive girl, and in the past my ego would persuade me to continue chasing this but my recent ego death had allowed me to see things more objectively. I accepted that she's not into me, which sucks for a split second until you realize how liberated you are. As a result of me accepting this, I didn't schedule the date with her and went to another beach party with a mixed group of people I know. My time with them resulted in very good progress with some girls I had previously only knew on the fringe.
So what I'm getting at is that had I let my ego get in the way, I would've wasted more of my valuable time. My need to "win" or be the best would have resulted in nothing more then time wasted ("whored out" if you will). Instead, I objectively weighed my options and chose the one that seemed better, which turned out to be correct. Humility will take you far in the dating world and life itself. Carry it with you as it will free you to see things objectively. Hope you found this post useful guys.
THISSSS