Quote: (05-29-2017 03:54 PM)Travesty Wrote:
^ Damn man.
Would you ever marry another EE girl?
Wondering if her working as a VP at a hedge fund and being a careerist had any negative effect.
Yeah, I would date another EE girl again, but probably never marry one, I was with her from when she was 19 to 34, and I was 10 years older than her and fairly successful, so I kind of raised her and guided her career and she was such a hard worker that she just needed to be pointed in the right direction and given the right mentoring to succeed. If you end up with an EE girl that is still that young and hasn't been hardened like so many of them have in later age then yeah I'd date them seriously again. I think the biggest issue for me personally was that for the first 7-8 years of the marriage, she depended on me for everything, and the last 3-5 years she was a highly successful professional, and I think I always saw her as the Latvian girl that I met when she was 19, couldn't speak English, no education, had nothing, etc and I never completely changed my perception of her to give her the respect of who she had become. Any American girl would have bailed years ago, she stuck it out the last 3-4 years really wanting things to work, but as a typical guy I figured she'll never leave if she was going to she would have years ago. But everyone eventually reaches a point, and her turning 34 and having no kids I think gave her a bit of a mid life crisis, and I think she sat back and made a hardened business decision, she thought to herself, "Ok, I have done everything possible to try and save things, I have stuck it out, I have no kids and I gotta figure out if this is gonna work ASAP and if I don't think it is bc I am 34 I can't wait much longer." I think she sat back and made the call to leave, hell I was nice even helped moved her out, I figured she had earned it. I even folded in the divorce out of guilt and let her have almost everything she wanted, because I knew she honestly was a good wife, and I couldn't have asked anymore from her. I folded out of guilt on the financials, I am sure I will regret that someday. I also learned that Divorce Lawyers really are evil monsters..
Yeah her making bank and getting respect from peers etc made things tougher bc she started to demand more say in things, which honestly was probably her right, but it was very hard for me to ever cede/modify the power balance in the relationship that had persisted for so many years. It was all good and bad, good that I finally learned to not take things for granted, which is a great life lesson, bad because I had to wait until I was 44 for the wakeup call. I always kind of saw her as the girl that I saved mentored and built instead of seeing her for a successful professional that she was now, my perception of her and the power balance in the marriage should have changed in time but it didn't.
So some advice from obvious long term experience is if you get lucky enough to get a young beautiful hard working EE girl, for many years she will depend on you for everything, but then if she starts to succeed in life, you need to be able to realize the situation is now different from the little girl of yesteryear and treat her as the equal that she now commands and deserves, and for me that was tough. Yes, I heavily regret it now, but the past is the past and it can't be changed. Hopefully some you guys will read all this and you won't make the same mistake I made. That's why I posted this "Follow Up" really to try and pass the knowledge and my history with something that a lot of you guys talk about EE women.