Quote: (02-07-2013 02:29 PM)scorpion Wrote:
Knowing that no matter how cool her personality is, how madly in love with me she appears to be, or how much I like her, that I can never fully trust or emotionally invest in a woman again.
Having repeatedly witnessed firsthand the incredible facility women have for deceiving their boyfriends while cheating with me, I know that I could easily be deceived as well.
The trust you give a woman will be the rope she hangs you with.
Gio and Mechanico-noone taught me these things about women, I think there was some inherent desire to have a deep, romantic relationship with a woman. Think about that phrase:
"I want to have a deep, romantic relationship with a woman."
There's nothing crazy about that to me, that's not something that needs to be learned from a parent. It's human. In that regard, you could amend the statement with:
"I want to have a deep, romantic relationship with another human." Women want this too, they just have too many fucked up tendencies to actually make it work.
Despite having adapted otherwise, sometimes I wish I could go back in time to when I could love a woman completely. Being in love when I was 18 was fucking AWESOME. In a way it's like wishing I could take the blue pill again; like the defector in the Matrix (the scene where he's eating a steak in that restaurant)
I can't and won't now, and I don't think I ever will. That doesn't mean I don't crave it sometimes.
The end result of all that is that when I'm gaming, chasing, and eventually banging a girl, there's a part of my brain that's telling me, "This won't make you happy." It's part of growing up and being mature, but every once in a long while, you want to believe that women could, in fact, potentially make you happy.